Has someone dealt with this before?

I’m really worried right now. I feel like a bad person. Basically, what happened was, I was listening to music, the song is called seventeen by ladytron, and my brain was like “ oh, you should imagine that person (a 13 year old) in a romantic manner, You should do it, see if you like it. I think you like it.” And then it gave me strong urges to do this, like I felt like I genuinely wanted to do it, I felt so many things that told me that I wanted it, that I liked it, and like if I didn’t fight it then I would’ve done it, and I’m afraid that it’s true and I’m afraid that I’m a bad person. I don’t want to be a bad person. Why did I actually feel like I wanna do that? Like I had a strong urge to do it I felt like I really wanted to do it… weird thing is a part of me doesn’t care?? What does this mean? Why am I so confusing? This is weird ?? Every time I try to think about it, my brain keeps trying to imagine that the 13-year-old is older, like it tries to imagine that 13 year olds are actually 20, when they’re not? Because when I actually think about them being 13 I’m like ew. ??? What does this mean? Has anyone gone through this before?

POCD

ivefailed.

Date posted: 49w

I went through this, a lot similar, for the last part it's your brain doing compulsions. Because if they were older it would eliminate the triggering sensation.

King silly

Date posted: 49w

@Nameless000 You’re actually right, I never thought about that, thank you

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

I think this is called ocd urges

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

I had urges too but not in that manner, however I just continue with my day because ik it's just my mind and they are just thought

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

@Anonymous I got thoughts about younger ones also n I shake it off because ik I wouldn't do things like that

King silly

Date posted: 49w

@Anonymous It gets very convincing

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

@King silly Because it's the opposite of you and ocd can be convincing because you are use to thoughts as "my thoughts" but reality is.... Not every thoughts are yours..... Thoughts just come and go even the ones that are your thoughts so we can get them mixed up

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

@Anonymous I'm in here if you want to talk though I'm open to trying my best to help others

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

@Anonymous Btw don't be scared I'm the same age as you 😂

Anonymous

Date posted: 49w

First of all I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The thoughts and emotions associated with ocd can be relentless, cruel, distressing, painful, and quite frankly absurd. It’s the absurdity that is so ironic because they go against the spirit of our true values and nature. One would think the absurdity would allow us to laugh them away and dismiss them, but they tend to stick, leading to more doubt and fear. And the more we try to fight them away the more they stick. And when it’s something so abhorrent it feels like a prison sentence in the mind… why won’t these thoughts and feelings just go away? And we need some sort of reassurance that they are just thoughts and they’ll pass with time. As someone who has been through this and also knows several others who have experienced the same thing, I know we aren’t supposed to give or seek reassurance, but I think it’s worth it to just let you know you’re not a monster… these are all sensations being created by an overactive amygdala that’s responsible for the fight/flight/freeze response, which is directly linked to primitive bodily responses. It can distort and twist things very rapidly and insidiously in ways that are scary, distressing, and quite frankly absurd. At the end of the day, the treatment protocol is the same whether the thoughts and sensations revolve around violence, contamination, sexual orientation, sexuality, taboo, harm, perfectionism, or quite frankly anything. There are people who experience the same level of distress trying to discern the difference between a hamburger and a hotdog. The ocd brain can get caught up in anything and make things out to be dangerous and meaningful when in reality they are just ocd symptoms that are harmless (distressing and painful but harmless nonetheless) and meaningless (despite how they may be interpreted). You are a trooper and an amazing soul that deserves to get well. Make sure you discuss this with your therapist and give yourself a break. This doesn’t have to or need to stay this way, and you can absolutely get better from this vicious ocd cycle. Nothing you shared is alarming or new as this is a well known ocd theme and just the way you’re describing it is screaming “I have ocd! These thoughts are painful! Get ‘em off me get ‘em off me!” And I can relate to the pain. Please see your therapist if you haven’t already, and let’s learn to sit with discomfort without the reassurance seeking, judgement or escape mechanisms. It’s the only way to truly get better.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 24w

I think I’m a horrible person someone help

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty I think I’m really struggling right now. I was in my alone time (self pleasure) and obviously like whenever you’re doing your thing you might have fantasies or whatever and that’s what came into my mind in the moment and then all of a sudden I get a flashback from a scene from pretty little liars came into my mind where Emily kisses Ali on the neck. In pilot actor who played Allison was 12 years old, which the pilot was the first episode I believe but in the rest of the season of season one she was 13 and that flashback was in season one as well after the pilot and I’m really worried that I might have self pleasure to myself to that scene even though I knew all this time that she was 13 in that scene and I don’t feel comfortable because I’m 16 and even though like it’s not too much of an age gap it’s still polished me and I’m scared to death right now, but I didn’t panic immediately because I think I somewhat kinda knew in the moment that I probably didn’t do anything bad but I am not 100% sure and then the more I thought about it, I started to panic even more and now I’m panicking even more now and I feel like a really big pedo, and I keep searching and googling and trying to check for her age to see how old she was in that scene and I’m pretty sure she was 13 but I promise I wasn’t intentionally thinking oh yeah I’m gonna self pressure myself to this scene regardlessof her age. No, I’m just afraid I probably did without even like realizing or registering the thought in my mind, but then at the same time I kind of feel like maybe I was just coexisting with a thought and now I’m scared I’m really scared guys.

POCD

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

Can someone please offer words of advice :(

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

EndOCD!

Date posted: 18w

Just want a response

So one day a couple months ago I saw some posts on threads pop up on instagram and they said I’m 17 and horny and 18 and horny or I think I even remember see a 16 year old one. I’m 20 and I remembered that when those popped up I clicked on them and I don’t know if I did it out of true attraction or out of the urge to make my anxiety go away. I feel like often times if I see something that says any number under 18 even if it has nothing to do with age it could be talking about season 17 of a tv show my mind immediately goes what?? 17??? And then I click on it to make my anxiety go away. So when I remembered all of this I downloaded the threads app because I wanted to see if I could get reassurance and see if I could rekindle how I felt in these moments. When I opened the app all I saw was posts like that but everyone claimed to be 18. The only problem is none of the girls looked 18 they looked like 14-16 so I started to panic I and worry that because I clicked on the threads in the past it popped up more and I was a pedophile for that. All of the accounts all pretty much had only fans links so at that point I was like well they have to be 18 then but now I’m worried that maybe it’s a scammer and they are using underage pictures of girls and putting them on onlyfans. Which I know is out of my control but I just feel like a Pedo and like I did something wrong. Does anyone have any advice? Or have any similar situations/ similarities with this?

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