Advice?

@Justin Trout Wow thank you so much. That was very insightful and helpful. I appreciate it greatly and I do struggle with both those ocd subtypes. I always find myself over analyzing every move I make and every word I speak. I also feel a lot of guilt with things I can’t control or things that happen naturally, such as I describe so this makes a lot of sense and I am thankful you took the time to explain thank you lots

@Puffin123456 - No worries! I hope it helped. If you have any questions, please ask here and I'll try to answer what I can.

@Justin Trout Thank you I really appreciate it. I do have one question. I feel I didn’t explain myself properly in my post. Essentially what I’m asking is should I feel guilty for things I do impulsively like actions or things I say impulsively. Now I’m not talking about anything extremely bad I know being impulsively can be dangerous but in the sense that we are all impulsive at times if that makes sense. Like sometimes we act without thinking. For example if I say something to try to get someone to think I’m attractive when I’m talking to someone I find attractive, It happens naturally without thought and it’s impulsive. Then after I perform the action, my brain is like you did that cause u wanted that person to think you were attractive. That’s when I feel guilty because I’m like ok I feel like that’s not right to do considering I’m not single. But when it happened it was subconscious and when I realized why I did it, it was too late it had already happened and that’s where the guilt starts for me

@Puffin123456 - I think you need to give yourself some credit. Saying things in hope that people find us attractive, might be more normal than you know. We all have the need to want to look good in front of the right people. What's happening, is you are letting the guilt and shame take over here. Guilt attacks your moral beliefs about things, and shame is attacking your character. Lean into that and recognize that saying things in hopes to be attractive might be normal. When the guilt and shame hit, lean into that as well, I might say, "It's okay for me to feel this way, but I don't have to figure out why." Delay trying to over think it. Eventually, you'll start to demean these thoughts and maybe even feel more confident.

@Justin Trout Thank you I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. You explained it very well. I guess it really does come down to my morals. One of my biggest value is to be a loyal partner and not betray or hurt my partner or do anything wrong in our relationship. It is also one of my biggest themes, I’ve been struggling with it for a while. When I think about the things I’ve said or things I’ve done and I think what if my partner said or did these things. I know I wouldn’t be mad at them. I would forgive them. I may be jealous as that is a normal human emotion when it comes to the person we love but I would never leave them or be upset with them. However when I think of myself saying or doing these things I automatically feel guilt and worry that I’ve done something horrible and my partner will leave me. I really tend to take small things and make them huge. There are things I have confessed to my partner and they have always forgiven me sometimes they even told me it wasn’t a big deal. However I still can’t let go of the guilt. It’s insane lol. I learned to stop confessing because everytime I would confess my ocd would tell me I need to confess again because I didn’t say every single detail and if my partner knew every single little detail they would change their mind and not forgive me and leave me. If I don’t confess every detail or confess again it makes me feel guilty like I’m hiding something from my partner or because I didn’t share every detail I’m not telling the truth and trying to be sneaky about it or make it sound less bad then it is. Then I spiral because my OCD will tell me that if my partner knew my every thought and every action and every detail of everything I’ve ever done they wouldn’t love me anymore. I think some of it comes from abandonment issues I have a lot of extreme childhood trauma

@Puffin123456 - It's completely understandable that, with loyalty being such a huge value for you, your OCD has latched onto it. The fact that you wouldn’t judge your partner in the same way you judge yourself shows that this is more about the way OCD magnifies your sense of responsibility and guilt. It’s also common for people with OCD to feel compelled to confess or share every single detail, driven by the fear of hiding something or not being fully truthful. The problem is, confessing gives OCD more fuel, because even after you confess, OCD tells you there’s still something you missed. This cycle of needing to confess and then feeling like it’s never enough can be exhausting. It sounds like you’ve made some important progress in learning to stop confessing, which is a great step forward. The challenge now is learning to sit with that discomfort—the feeling that you haven’t shared every detail—and recognizing that it’s just OCD playing its tricks. You don’t need to give in to that urge to confess or overanalyze every action. The fear of abandonment you mentioned, tied to childhood trauma, may also be amplifying these feelings. It makes sense that your mind would try to protect you by hyper-focusing on anything that could threaten your relationship, even if it’s not grounded in reality. One thing that might help is reminding yourself that your partner has already shown you they love and forgive you, even when OCD tries to convince you otherwise. Letting go of the need to be perfect in your relationship—and accepting that both you and your partner are human—is key. You got this! I'm rooting for you!

@Justin Trout Wow thank you so much I could cry right now lol. Everything you’ve explained you’ve explained so beautifully and I really was able to grasp and understand it. I got all the answers I needed. Thank you for your refreshing insight and thank you for rooting for me. It’s time I kicked OCDs butt. I deserve happiness.

@Justin Trout Love it!🤣

@Overthinker14 Thank you so much this was very helpful. I do struggle with false memory OCD and real event OCD and sometimes they get entangled and a lot of the details of my memories are very fuzzy and I noticed that OCD will try to replace the gaps with worst case scenarios to basically match my theme if that makes sense. But mainly what I was talking about in my post is that it’s not just memories it’s a constant thing. Like every move I make every word I say my brain immediately tries to provide me with an intention for things that I just do naturally or subconsciously should I say maybe u could call it impulsive. If I perform an action as soon as it happens my brain says basically u did this for that or this is why you just performed that action. Sometimes it’s correct sometimes it’s not. I just wonder should I feel guilty for things I do impulsively without thinking. Not bad things necessarily just impulsive things in general