[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 40w
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 40w
It sounds like you're describing a very common experience for people with OCD, particularly those dealing with themes of moral scrupulosity or relationship OCD. OCD can cause you to overanalyze your intentions and actions, even when they are natural, automatic behaviors. The intrusive thoughts that follow—like, "Did I mean to act that way?" or "What if I had an inappropriate intention?"—can lead to guilt, even though your actions were unintentional. The key thing here is that OCD often tricks us into doubting our own motives, even for harmless or unconscious behaviors. It tends to create uncertainty where none should exist and convinces us we need to analyze or control our every action. The more you engage with these doubts, trying to figure out whether or not your intentions were "correct," the more power these thoughts will have over you. One thing that might help is recognizing that it's okay to not have certainty over your intentions in every moment. Acknowledging the doubt and accepting that you might never fully "know" your intention can be part of how we practice sitting with discomfort in OCD. Remember, thoughts and actions don't always line up perfectly, and that’s part of being human.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 40w
@Puffin123456 - No worries! I hope it helped. If you have any questions, please ask here and I'll try to answer what I can.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 40w
@Puffin123456 - I think you need to give yourself some credit. Saying things in hope that people find us attractive, might be more normal than you know. We all have the need to want to look good in front of the right people. What's happening, is you are letting the guilt and shame take over here. Guilt attacks your moral beliefs about things, and shame is attacking your character. Lean into that and recognize that saying things in hopes to be attractive might be normal. When the guilt and shame hit, lean into that as well, I might say, "It's okay for me to feel this way, but I don't have to figure out why." Delay trying to over think it. Eventually, you'll start to demean these thoughts and maybe even feel more confident.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 40w
@Puffin123456 - It's completely understandable that, with loyalty being such a huge value for you, your OCD has latched onto it. The fact that you wouldn’t judge your partner in the same way you judge yourself shows that this is more about the way OCD magnifies your sense of responsibility and guilt. It’s also common for people with OCD to feel compelled to confess or share every single detail, driven by the fear of hiding something or not being fully truthful. The problem is, confessing gives OCD more fuel, because even after you confess, OCD tells you there’s still something you missed. This cycle of needing to confess and then feeling like it’s never enough can be exhausting. It sounds like you’ve made some important progress in learning to stop confessing, which is a great step forward. The challenge now is learning to sit with that discomfort—the feeling that you haven’t shared every detail—and recognizing that it’s just OCD playing its tricks. You don’t need to give in to that urge to confess or overanalyze every action. The fear of abandonment you mentioned, tied to childhood trauma, may also be amplifying these feelings. It makes sense that your mind would try to protect you by hyper-focusing on anything that could threaten your relationship, even if it’s not grounded in reality. One thing that might help is reminding yourself that your partner has already shown you they love and forgive you, even when OCD tries to convince you otherwise. Letting go of the need to be perfect in your relationship—and accepting that both you and your partner are human—is key. You got this! I'm rooting for you!
Overthinker14Overthinker14
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 40w
OCD makes us want to grasp certainty and a complete comprehension of our thoughts. Your actions are done out of an immediate and more trivial intention. I could be wrong but it sounds like you are dealing with false memory OCD which can make you question the intention you had or implications presented forth in past actions/circumstances. But you must resist the urge to mentally review and spiral. The need to mentally review past events to find clarity becomes a compulsion. The best option for dealing with this OCD is simply short circuiting the thought using an RPM (response prevention method). Remaining uncertain can allow you to not question your intentions, thus instead of mentally reviewing, acknowledging these thoughts such as "that could be an explanation for how I acted, but I am not certain." This allows you to briefly engage in the thought yet not providing it extensive time or significance which can trigger further anxiety and promote future OCD episodes.
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Jack03
- Date posted
- 23w
Is this OCD?
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
Tony Davies
- Date posted
- 17w
Question
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
anonymous737...
- Date posted
- 16w
i need some advice
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
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