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User type: Therapist

Date posted: 49w

It sounds like you're describing a very common experience for people with OCD, particularly those dealing with themes of moral scrupulosity or relationship OCD. OCD can cause you to overanalyze your intentions and actions, even when they are natural, automatic behaviors. The intrusive thoughts that follow—like, "Did I mean to act that way?" or "What if I had an inappropriate intention?"—can lead to guilt, even though your actions were unintentional. The key thing here is that OCD often tricks us into doubting our own motives, even for harmless or unconscious behaviors. It tends to create uncertainty where none should exist and convinces us we need to analyze or control our every action. The more you engage with these doubts, trying to figure out whether or not your intentions were "correct," the more power these thoughts will have over you. One thing that might help is recognizing that it's okay to not have certainty over your intentions in every moment. Acknowledging the doubt and accepting that you might never fully "know" your intention can be part of how we practice sitting with discomfort in OCD. Remember, thoughts and actions don't always line up perfectly, and that’s part of being human.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 49w

@Puffin123456 - No worries! I hope it helped. If you have any questions, please ask here and I'll try to answer what I can.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 49w

@Puffin123456 - I think you need to give yourself some credit. Saying things in hope that people find us attractive, might be more normal than you know. We all have the need to want to look good in front of the right people. What's happening, is you are letting the guilt and shame take over here. Guilt attacks your moral beliefs about things, and shame is attacking your character. Lean into that and recognize that saying things in hopes to be attractive might be normal. When the guilt and shame hit, lean into that as well, I might say, "It's okay for me to feel this way, but I don't have to figure out why." Delay trying to over think it. Eventually, you'll start to demean these thoughts and maybe even feel more confident.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 49w

@Puffin123456 - It's completely understandable that, with loyalty being such a huge value for you, your OCD has latched onto it. The fact that you wouldn’t judge your partner in the same way you judge yourself shows that this is more about the way OCD magnifies your sense of responsibility and guilt. It’s also common for people with OCD to feel compelled to confess or share every single detail, driven by the fear of hiding something or not being fully truthful. The problem is, confessing gives OCD more fuel, because even after you confess, OCD tells you there’s still something you missed. This cycle of needing to confess and then feeling like it’s never enough can be exhausting. It sounds like you’ve made some important progress in learning to stop confessing, which is a great step forward. The challenge now is learning to sit with that discomfort—the feeling that you haven’t shared every detail—and recognizing that it’s just OCD playing its tricks. You don’t need to give in to that urge to confess or overanalyze every action. The fear of abandonment you mentioned, tied to childhood trauma, may also be amplifying these feelings. It makes sense that your mind would try to protect you by hyper-focusing on anything that could threaten your relationship, even if it’s not grounded in reality. One thing that might help is reminding yourself that your partner has already shown you they love and forgive you, even when OCD tries to convince you otherwise. Letting go of the need to be perfect in your relationship—and accepting that both you and your partner are human—is key. You got this! I'm rooting for you!

Overthinker14

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w

OCD makes us want to grasp certainty and a complete comprehension of our thoughts. Your actions are done out of an immediate and more trivial intention. I could be wrong but it sounds like you are dealing with false memory OCD which can make you question the intention you had or implications presented forth in past actions/circumstances. But you must resist the urge to mentally review and spiral. The need to mentally review past events to find clarity becomes a compulsion. The best option for dealing with this OCD is simply short circuiting the thought using an RPM (response prevention method). Remaining uncertain can allow you to not question your intentions, thus instead of mentally reviewing, acknowledging these thoughts such as "that could be an explanation for how I acted, but I am not certain." This allows you to briefly engage in the thought yet not providing it extensive time or significance which can trigger further anxiety and promote future OCD episodes.

anonymous737...

Date posted: 25w

i need some advice

So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 18w

I feel lost

I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost

Sillygoose27

Date posted: 12w

OCD Guilt

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?

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