Basically last night when i was rummaging i searched up childhood signs someone was a lesbian and today i was with my boyfriend and he saw it and asked me about it and i had to come up with an excuse but now im starting to think that he actually thinks im a lesbian and i dont want him to leave me but what if i am a lesbian and im denying it?? Im so scared and confused
General rule of thumb- if the question begins with " what if" its OCD. And to do a little ERP to this situation, so what if you are a lesbian? If you want to be with your boyfriend, then at the VERY MOST you are bi-sexual and then you just get to choose which gender you want right? so choose your boyfriend. Heck I might be a lesbian and I'm repressing it too..... buuuttt for now? i prefer my husband so I'm going to stick with him. Do you see how you can choose what thoughts to pay attention to? and do you see how almost all of them actually are not important unless you make them important? tell yourself " maybe I am a lesbian, maybe I'm not, it doesn't matter because today, right now, I'm with my boyfriend, that's my choice, now, what else should I be doing besides giving my attention to this silly OCD idea"
@TexasOCD41 Thank you so much! I love my boyfriend to bits but like today i was flaring up a lot and i cried in his arms and cried on my way home and in my bed because of the whole lesbian thing. But its just hard for me because some things line up to me and my childhood behaviours to the ones of lesbians such as: celebrity crushes. Never really had one that i was really obsessed with but i had real life boy crushes but not many. I’ve decided that if i am lesbian i would just stick with boys because i prefer it more?? Makes no sense but it works for now ahaha
@Idk1111 It makes perfect sense actually lol I took human sexuality in college and I learned that sexuality isn’t actually binary. There is a spectrum and 95% of people are a TIIINNYYY bit in the opposite direction so I identify as straight but iv had girl crushes ( you can’t deny girls are just pretty! Idc who you are!) but I’m 90-95% heterosexual. It’s like in school. A 90-95 in still an A, it’s still passing, why be a perfectionist and be miserable trying to make 100 if 90 is still An A? So I just think ok so 5-10% of my might like girls? That’s fine, that’s not enough to wanna date one or be sexually involved, although I do think lesbian porn is visually appealing and i even get a little aroused by it BUT still not enough to switch teams. lol sorry to ramble, my point is. OCD wants you to make it black and white and perfect and it will give you GREAT distress while doing this. By accepting they gray areas of life and accepting not everything has to be rigid and black or white, gay or straight, yes or no, that you can neutralize OCD, takes it’s power away and be very happy in your skin.
@TexasOCD41 Hey! I had a sex dream last night about this girl that i know but im not close to, shes a lesbian and everything and when i woke up i was turned on and worst part of it is that i wasn’t scared or nervous just distraught and wanted to know why. Its quite common for me to have them dreams about once a week and i don’t know why it keeps happening and if its ever happened to you and if you’ve woke up feeling (pardon my language) turned on. I know sexuality is fluid but it just feels like i reoccurring cycle and im just so tired of it
@Idk1111 - oh yea iv had all sort of wild dreams that I wake up feeling "good" too lol. Dreams often have elements of things we are concerned about and always keep in mind, OCD can create false feelings of attraction, meaning you can feel a sexually good response towards something you ordinarily would not. Also, when you say the Worst part was you DIDNT feel scared or nervous? that should be the BEST part lol. That doesn't MEAN you are a lesbian, it MEANS that at least part of your brain is no longer sending a red flag that this thought or idea means anything bad or dangerous, but apparently you still have some part of you that is still holding on to this as something important ( and its not) so you still have some negative emotions. I had a dream a few nights ago that I was married to my ex bf and he was leaving me and I was SOOO upset about it.... when I work up tho, I scooted over to my husband and cuddeled him because, I figure my brain put my ex in there randomly but fear of being left by someone I love is very real so I didn't wake up thinking " omg do I still love my ex? i dreamed I did and it felt very much like I missed him even when I work up" but once I snuggled my husband I knew he was the only person I wanted. i dream about exes all the time, I dream about crazy things, dreams mean nothing, just your brain going for a swim in randomness. let it go and live in today as the 99% heterosexual you choose to be ;)
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
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