False memory or not?

While talking with my boyfriend he was like ‘have you ever looked at any edits of another guy that you used to like?’ And I was like no I promise, though for a second I thought about it and was like what if I did, a few minutes later I had the flash of me watching one and now for a few weeks it’s been haunting me, I can’t stop thinking about I did do it even though I’m not sure and I’m pretty sure I didn’t because with any edit that comes across my fyp I immediately skip it or go to the comments just to listen to the music before scrolling. So I’m really divided, I remember me looking up the movie the dude was in and watching some ship edits of it and pretty sure I sent him one, but another thing is telling me I went ahead and watched edits of him. Like I’m trying to remember and it’s so disoriented I can’t tell what’s real or not. This same thing has happened when me and my Boyfriend got in a stage where I would constantly confess my intrusive thoughts, I thought what if I made a playlist about my ex? I didn’t. It was just a normal melancholy playlist. Please help.

False Memory OCD

Muffin34

Date posted: 46w

But why does it matter if you really did watch an edit ? Trying to figure out a if a false memory is actually false or not will only lead you to continuous spiraling. It’s counterproductive and you will never get the answer. Just think of it as something you don’t need to figure out. So when the question pops back up just say idk nor do I care. If an image of you watching the edit comes back up and you get anxiety sit with the thought. Don’t try to analyze, rationalize, or forcefully remove the image from your mind. Just acknowledge it like you acknowledge a cloud in the sky and let it pass by. At first the anxiety won’t feel good physically and you will want to fight it because no one likes to sit with their heart and mind racing but over time you won’t even feel anxious over that anymore bc your brain doesn’t view it as important. You have to just let it happen. Let all the bad thoughts come and go on its own. Also please try to refrain from constantly telling anyone your intrusive thoughts or ask for reassurance. It will back fire on you at some point and you’re only feeding your ocd. Constantly seeking reassurance or confessing to someone can be draining. Not only him but to yourself and to the relationship. (Trust me, I still cringe thinking about when I used to spiral and would constantly confess to a close friend of mine. Luckily we both have good ppl that love us and are understanding). But in the process of managing my ocd, I also had to learn that they have boundaries too and it’s only so much that they can take from the constant confessing. Thoughts are just thoughts and no one needs to know everything you’re thinking. Especially if they’re intrusive. I’m sure he doesn’t tell you every single little thing he’s thinking so why do you need to?

poopybro

Date posted: 46w

@Muffin34 THANK YOU MUFFIN🙌🙌 this genuinely helps so much, I’ve been refraining from confessing and ever since my relationship and life has improved so much so thank you again😼😼

poopybro

Date posted: 46w

Another thing, the movie used to be a special interest of mine, though I lost interest in it when I started to date my boyfriend. I used to have celebrities crushes when I was single but now I am in a relationship I stray away from the media I liked including them. I’m so so worried

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

HELP PLS I NEED ADVICE

Ii spoke w my bf this weekend and he mentioned that he has thoughts just like me, but his don't bother him like me. I then felt a lot better and he tried dissecting one of his thoughts like I usually do and realized it felt more real for him after. That made me realize that none of my thoughts were ever true and I blew them up. However, yesterday I had a thought ab “wait wut if you liked that one guy? How dare you bc youre supposed to love your bf and not secretly like someone else” and treated it as I usually did bc I accidentally wanted to see if it was true but didn't rlly but I would check to see if it was there and now that thought feels so so so real now and I feel really bad how do Ik it's not real? I feel so bad and guilty bc lividly this makes 0 sense but it feels so prominent. It felt pretty real when it happened yesterday too. And now I feel awful bc how is it possible after my clarity the other day? Why does it feel so prominent 😞😞😞

scrambled

Date posted: 23w

False memory surrounding a real event?

So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.

scrambled

Date posted: 20w

false memory or repressed memory?

How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk

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