Do I have OCD or is it just in my head?

Hey guys so i wanted to see if this could possibly be ocd or maybe something else idk lol and im not trying to like get reassurance km just curious cuz i’ve never thought about this until now. So my whole life especially recently since i’ve moved to college, i always analyze whether or not i fit in with people. I’ve always been pretty hard on myself my whole life aboit feeling different than my friends or just feeling like i don’t understand how everyone can just be themselves so easily and not anxious or how i think people are just more likable than me. i don’t know if that makes any sense, but i feel like i’ll hang out with a group of girls and then afterwords i’ll be like why do i feel like i wasn’t the same as them or why do i feel like they’re better than me etc. just constantly trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why im different then them. I think that may have been ocd itself or maybe not im not sure. recently i’ve been struggling with trans ocd and my mind often likes to think back to that and how my whole life i’ve kinda worried about how i felt different than all the other girls . it scares me cuz it makes me think that maybe i really am not a girl and i just haven’t realized it until now. but now im realizing that those worries from my whole life might have just been ocd to begin with. idk if any of this makes any sense and im just rambling on and on but im just curious to see what u guys think

I don’t know if what I have is OCD or just severe anxiety.. I’m really confused. Every time I do something that I feel bad about I will think about it for ages and it will ruin my day, and feel guilty. I keep getting emotional all the time and feel distressed , as if something is off but I can’t explain. Occasionally I have the urge to confess things and if I don’t they will be In my head making me not feel present. And I keep focusing on my partner and getting the urge to break up when I don’t actually want that (of course I have doubts like everyone does) but it’s more of a urgent upsetting feeling which hasnt left for 5 months, the only time it seems to go away temporarily is when I’m with him. and I’m soooo confused. My therapist told me I would have had OCD as a child so I can’t have it (I’m 20 years old but I don’t know what is going on with me). Starting to think I’m going insane as this has been going on for several months now!

It started a month ago on vacation. I started getting intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones in their sleep and it scared me so bad. I thought it would stop but it only got worse. Here I am a month later and things have changed drastically. My thoughts have now shifted to becoming some serial killer. I am so worried it’s all I think about. I can’t stop thinking about the things I did as a kid and how it could validate all my thoughts. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything at all. I am so scared of the thought of the notorious serial killers that I’ve heard about in the past and I can’t stop comparing myself to these horrible people. I’m scared because I used to be mean to animals as a kid and people say this is the first thing to look for in serial killers. I remember still having a lot of empathy for them when I was young too. I look back and cant at all understand why I was like that. It makes me wanna breakdown and punch myself. All of that stopped a really long time ago and every since I have done nothing but helped and empathized with animals. I am every surrounded by them and consider them to be more family than pets. I get extremely upset over anything or anyone who is suffering. I just can’t get that memory of me doing that stuff out of my head and I’m afraid it means it validates my thoughts I’ve been having even though this is not what i want to happen. I’ve been completely avoidant of alcohol and refused to take a medication I was prescribed because irritability was a side effect and I’m afraid of snapping and hurting someone. I just can’t stop thinking about my past and how it could correlate to now. Even though I have grown up to have morals and respect for everything I have a fear that it’s all been a lie. I get so much anxiety from thinking about this stuff. I haven’t eaten in almost 3 days because my stomach is in a constant knot and when I do eat I feel too guilty to do so because I’m not paying attention to these thoughts and sometimes it makes me question whether I secretly want to do bad stuff which I don’t and that scared me so bad. I made an emergency appointment right after I started having these thoughts and they diagnosed me as having schizotypal personality disorder. They said I have been having ocd “tendencies “ because I have the thoughts and constantly googling everything which I guess would be a compulsion. I have been looking on forums for people with past actions similar to mine to see other peoples reactions. I’m not sure what this is anymore. Idk if this is ocd or I’m just using it as an excuse. All I know is that I’m extremely scared. I vowed if this stuff as everything something I would even think about doing I would take myself out before I ever hurt anyone else. It’s scary but it’s what I always tell myself when I doubt any of this.