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You have to remember that they’re just thoughts. All of those “what ifs” is ocd speaking but you can’t feed into it. Asking for reassurance, confessing, pushing the thoughts away etc will only make things worse and your ocd will come back 10x stronger. When an intrusive thought about your relationship pops up, you can either ignore it and let it pass by like a cloud or accept uncertainty. Maybe he does find you attractive or maybe he doesn’t. But that’s not for you to figure out right now. And let the anxiety sit there. It feels uncomfortable but over time when your brain notices this type of thinking is not important, you won’t feel anxious about the questions anymore. But when you’re constantly ruminating about it or trying to figure out if your thoughts are true, these thoughts give your brain a signal that they are important and you will only continue to feel bad ab yourself. Ik accepting uncertainty is easier said than done especially because of social media. All you see is stuff about cheating or people confessing that they find their partners unattractive but you still have to accept uncertainty when you see those posts. You and your bf love each other dearly and that’s all that matters. You have to enjoy the relationship because letting ocd control you or your relationship will strain it. You seem exhausted from ocd and he will eventually be too. So when you feel an urge to ask him a question about him cheating or finding you unattractive, in your head say “maybe”. And continue on with your day. OCD hates when you don’t care/accept uncertainty rather than giving it a yes or no answer.

Me. My fear when I have ROCD flare ups is that he's gonna cheat on me and betray me in some way. It's really painful.

Yep, this has been my theme for the last few months. It’s horrible. You’re not alone