Has anybody on here actually recovered from HOCD ? :)

Same girl same! I just wanted to look like them right ? And tryna just let it be be like “ I don’t know what that means maybe it does not mean anything “ uncertainty is best way even it takes work

Really?? Did the experience the same symptoms we're displaying on the app?

@NocturnalGyal They definitely did !! I know I did. I felt the same way many people with HOCD do on here and I was able to recover. Trust me it’s more than possible ?

@xiiiandreww Oh you've recovered from HOCD??

@xiiiandreww Did you at any point genuinely feel like you've turned gay ??

@NocturnalGyal Bruh I thought that too and I didn’t know who I was

@GummyDrop I'm so scared right now I feel so hopeless with everything ?? I'm just so over feeling like this

@NocturnalGyal When you have hocd do you feel genuine happy, I dont

@GummyDrop No. I want to be my old self again. And to be able to talk to people normally without having to check my feelings.

@NocturnalGyal Now I think my friends are good looking and I almost lost a friend cause I thought it was gonna turn me gay

@GummyDrop I stop talking to my friends cause hocd started to make me see them good looking and I thought I was gay

@GummyDrop Girls same. I can't hang out with my bestfriend because I feel so anxious. And now I can't hang out with my bf without feeling anxious here and there ??

@NocturnalGyal I did recover , and I definitely felt like I wasn’t straight at many points. I know it’s a horrible feeling. But yeah , I was extremely hopeless and depressed , and I was able to pull myself out of it. My advice to you would be to label every intrusive thought as your brain misfiring , and by doing this , you wouldn’t be making it out to be something super serious and painful to you. It may be a lot to deal with , but relabeling it and changing your thought process can change your brain structure and affect you for nothing but the better. It takes time and patience , and you can’t rush it , but it’s extremely effective. Also , anytime you feel worried about your fear , be like “ so what if it was true ? It wouldn’t change who I am. And I would at some point grow to be okay with it. “ I know it’s annoying to not get reassurance , but trust me I’m doing this to help you. You will be okay. You will recover. ♥️♥️

@xiiiandreww Thank you so much! I just have one last question. I'm a very impatient individual ? and I know recovery takes time. I've been dealing with these thoughts for about 4 months now and they have become extremely worse to the point where it feels very real, so by using this method, how long do you think recovery might take?

@NocturnalGyal No worries I was asking the same question ?? I hate and I mean HATE that I can’t give you a definitive answer but I can’t :( the reason is because we’re all very different and some methods work better than others depending on the person , and your own personal circumstances come into play too. It’s hard to say. But if you’re consistent , things will get better !! I’m here for you always. It could take a many weeks to months , you just can’t say

@xiiiandreww I understand. It's probably best not to put a time frame otherwise that's something else to overthink about ? it's because when I try to recover, it becomes extra hard after the first day and then I lose hope and fall back to square one. So it's just about reminding myself that it'd not going to be an easy process at all! It's so hard to not engage with these thoughts it's ridiculous.

@NocturnalGyal See you said it perfectly !! Trying to put a timetable on recovery is tempting but it definitely puts pressure on you to recover quickly. I think the best thing you could do is give yourself credit for working through this and try your best to be nice and patient with the process because it’s a meaningful one that you’ll likely never forget ! Everything you do to recover , no matter how long it takes , is meaningful and you’ll find what works for you. And with that , you can eventually help others going through HOCD. You got this ?

@xiiiandreww Thank you so so much for the words of encouragement :) I hope to help others with OCD once I've overcome this nonsense too! Goodluck to you ?

@xiiiandreww I am so happy for you that you got over this! If I can ask did you sometimes a thinked you actually liked these thoughts or got groinal responses while looking same sex but when you did opposite you didn’t and it’s maked you anxious? I am just curious because I have battle with these and I wanna know can I still get over this

@Asnku I went through exactly what you’re describing , that’s something very common for HOCD and you can totally recover from it. I think the best thing you could do is to have patience and treat yourself with respect when your going through this because I know it’s a lot to deal with mentally. Try not to test yourself by looking at other people because you’ll always notice a sensation because you’re anxious and alert. Getting under the fear ( actually making it no longer a fear ) is way more beneficial than getting around it ( meaning reassurance ). You will recover ! ??❤️

@xiiiandreww Thank you so much for this because its really means something to me ! I am starting my journey to recover and someday maybe if i see you here again I am gonna tell I get over it!

@Asnku I’ll totally be here and I can’t wait to hear you say that‼️?

@xiiiandreww Hey can ask something? Like I am really nervous saying this out but i think first time I got aroused was the anaconda video by Nicki minaj( yah that booty video where is lot girls but there were scene with drake too) does that really make me lesbian? Like i still remember in my childhood I was crushing only boys and my first kiss was boy and Everything and I really don’t wanna be with the girl because that’s doesn’t just feel like me. Because I have hocd is like coming now in my head and it’s hasn’t never bother me but now it does. But at the same time when I tryna memember I think I get aroused kinda in the end where was this lap dance scene with the drake and then I don’t feel anxious over it but yah. It would be nice if you can answer. I know this is the stupidest question in the world and I really feel shame to write this but I have to let it out.

@xiiiandreww But at the same time I remember clearly that I fantasize about boys and having relationship with them really really young

@Asnku First off , never call any question you have stupid :( that’s definitely not stupid , it’s on your mind and what you’re going through is totally real and valid. To answer your question , simply put , it does not mean a thing. That’s something called arousal nonconcordance , which is when you see something sexual or intimate , which you did , you react to it. The human brain reacts to sex in general whether you like it or not , and it’s uncontrollable and unconscious. But you have to tell yourself that you do not know what your sexuality is , and that you can be fine with this uncertainty. Anytime you get a bad thought , tell yourself it’s your brain glitching out and that you don’t have to worry about it. This takes time but it really does help out

@Asnku Responses happen in the Amygdala of your brain , but the thing is , it just reacts. It doesn’t care whether you’re actually attracted to something , it just happens. Search up Jon Hersenfield to learn more about this. But I can’t stress enough that you should accept that you can’t definitively answer the question , and try to embrace that you don’t know. Try your hardest to stay away from compulsions and try not to ask if something makes you lesbian or not because this only lets the fear now that it’s affecting you , so even when you have relief , it’s only because you have an answer. But answers aren’t long lasting as you know , so you have to actually confront the fear. Wishing you the best ????

@Asnku Jon Hershfield *** I meant to say

@xiiiandreww Since you're answering questions now. I've been having a really hard time today... I feel like my attraction to men is gone and now every pretty woman I see, I can't even look at them in an admirable way anymore. It's like my brain is saying that I have no choice but to be a lesbian now and leave my bf.. I still can't believe this is happening to me. It's like I know in my past I never thought I was gay.. But now looking back at my past, it feels like I was in denial all my life when I know I wasn't. It's just tough not to engage in compulsions because it all just feels too real to be OCD and its making me really really really sad. Any advice for this?

@NocturnalGyal Also, it almost feels like I want to be with a woman but I don't. I just want a normal life with my bf but I can't even be with him without checking and feeling depressed when my checking doesn't give me the results I wanted :(

@NocturnalGyal I’m so so sorry that you’re having a rough day , that makes me really sad to hear ?? here’s what I would say when it comes to you feeling like you have no choice but to leave your boyfriend because of the OCD... never , and I mean never make a decision based off of your OCD or current state of mind. Your current mental state only speaks on the present circumstances , not on the future and what your future will be like. Tell yourself that even if you weren’t straight , you could still live with your boyfriend ! A relationship between two people doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual to be meaningful. Now I know that brings in the fact that you would want a sexual relationship with someone at some point , but you could always have one eventually. Even if you weren’t straight ( I’m not at all saying you are lesbian , this is just a practice for accepting uncertainty ) you could grow to accept yourself in the future , as people come to accept things all the time , things they never thought they would. Once you start to change your thought pattern by relabeling the thoughts as things like misfires in your brain and chemical imbalances , OCD starts to seem less intimidating and you grow to see it for exactly what it is. Looking back in your past , while tempting , is not going to help you get under the fears sadly :( besides , events in your past could be interpreted in many different ways. And how can you be sure you’re remembering them accurately ? When you have OCD , you to tend to look at everything through fear colored glasses , so you always see every small thing as confirmation. Plus , you grow and change , so how can you be sure that who you were is an accurate demonstration of who you are today ?? You really can’t :) the good news here is that there is totally hope for you. I would be lying if I said recovery is super easy , but I would also be lying if I said it was impossible !! You have to tell yourself “ so what if my fear was real ? I would still be who I am , and I could learn to love myself “. Also , checking will never work and it never has worked in the long run for anyone with OCD. OCD sadly operates on its own time , meaning that you could have thoughts come out of nowhere and memories come out of nowhere , even when you aren’t looking for them. That’s why getting an answer to one of your worries isn’t going to change the whole situation. You really have to try to embrace the fact that you don’t know the answer , and that it’s okay that you don’t know it. You always have to acknowledge exactly how you’re feeling , so you aren’t constantly putting up a fight against your fears. That only refuels them. Try to put a comedic spin on your fears , be like “ what an interesting thought , I would loveeee for that to be true !! ( with sarcasm of course ;). Comedy can be a great tool so I recommend trying it out ! Always here for you , and feel free to ask any questions you have. I’m not sure if you have social media , but if you have an Instagram , feel free to follow and hit me up when you need me ! It’s @xiiiandreww if you have one :)

@xiiiandreww Thank you so much! I will follow you on instagram instead of this comment section ?

@NocturnalGyal What’s your guys Instagram I need help too

@GummyDrop It’s xiiiandreww :)

@xiiiandreww Thank you.Thats maked me less stressed about it. I was so sure that because I thinks it was my first time get like ns arousel that have to be make me lesbian. But I was Young and I saw something really sexual so I think it’s not really miracle that I felt something. But like you said that doesn’t make me lesbian if I don’t feel comfortable with it so thank you! And you guys where sharing Instagram so I got the idea. What if we would do ig group chat? I am down for that idea if you guys are !

@Asnku I would love to !! And I’m so glad you feel better :))

@xiiiandreww Yeah i know its gonna hunt me still sometimes but atleast i got the answer! My ig is skantzaada i am gonna follow you now!

@Asnku Hey, how are you getting on with your HOCD? I hope you’re okay:) I also used to watch the anaconda video and get aroused. I’m so worried i’m a lesbian

@amyyyy Kinda struggling tbh but i am better handling everything!

Asnku is totally right , accepting uncertainty is the best way to go :) it’s hard and takes practice but if you stay dedicated , you will get there. Tell yourself that it may mean something ( sorry if that triggers you ) BUT that it also may mean nothing at all , and it’s possible it means nothing since you do have OCD. And yeah , people can react to anything sexual , so it is possible that it’s just that , who knows ! Try your hardest not to give into compulsions , because not giving in tells your brain that the thoughts and fears are not threats and the anxiety starts to go down. Best of luck to you !