Coworker

I have this coworker she goes on different dates every week adn she 24. We were talking about a thirs co-worker because she looks sad and I was like "maybe her partner broke up with her". My coworker was like bro if that hapens to me and im 29/30 I'll just take a sick leave for at least a week. and I was like common, its not that bad! and she goes like bro imagine your bf breaking up with you. An guys when I tell you it felt like I wouldnt feel a thing I am not exagerationg which made my body freeze. So I was like yeah that would suck and it would be bad for a bit but ill move on eventually! And shes like "girl I dont think you're in love haha". First of all wtf common who are you to tell me that secondly I was sooooo triggered!! and the thing that triggered me even more is being triggered and scared because according to a tiktok of madeleine argy "if it scared you then it must be true, people arent afraid of things that arent true". ughhhh i hate this!!! I just wanted ti be normal!! what do you guys think?

I went out last night with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is contemplating divorcing her husband bc of a drinking problem (she is straight) and made a joke about running off and joining the “lesbian island”. She then continues to say “making out with a girl is one thing” but that she could never actually BE with a woman sexually, etc. Well… this has triggered my SO OCD significantly because I’m thinking, well why does she think it’s okay to just kiss/make-out if she doesn’t identity as bisexual? I mean she is beautiful and I’ve heard all my straight friends say the same thing. So I start to worry by thinking, well I find her very attractive - does that mean I want to make out with her and see what she’s talking about? Just to note, I also identify as straight and am married. So this is just so damn frustrating and confusing. Especially bc society shows women kissing all the time on reality tv shows etc (who present themselves as straight). So now I’m having intrusive thoughts and making myself think sexual things to “check” if I’m still straight. Ughh..any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if someone could please explain why a straight woman would make such a comment - that would be very helpful.

any help is really welcomed and appreciated. I tend to hyper fixate on men outside of my relationship, they feel like crushes but I’m like 60% sure they’re meaningless dopamine rushes that happen with people I find interesting, friendship worthy, or physically appealing in some way. My hyperfixation recently shifted to a supervisor, not even an hour after meeting him :/ that’s fine, whatever, I can’t do much about it. I daydream and create like this drama romance in my head. Like good content for a movie or a book. Comparing it to that makes me feel less disloyal, and more understanding of why this might happen (I am a hopeless romantic, I adore stories). I’m home now and I was thinking of wearing a cuter shirt for work tomorrow because I went in an oversized hoodie today. This is a thought I had this morning before even meeting this man btw. But then my brain went to oh yeah I want to look attractive for this hyper fixation. It felt exciting to think that. I felt excited. Then the huge wave of dread hit me. I wanted to look good for another man? For a specific person? I can’t stop panicking I don’t know if this is normal, disloyal, a distortion, or what it is. I’m so confused. I felt happy when I got that thought. Maybe it was a dopamine hit or something I’m Colombian and we’re really big on looking our best 99.9% of the time. Even if it’s just to go to the gas station. I just feel so scared that I felt excitement over this one person. It’s extremely different for my boyfriend’s culture. Almost the opposite. I feel so disloyal and unworthy of my boyfriend. I doubt this was intrusive, it genuinely felt like me and I’ve had thoughts like that in the past. I just feel like a huge monster right now Please help :(