does anyone else suffer from obsessive thinking or rumination about past life events, particularly traumatic ones? I can’t seem to stop thinking about it all the time and questioning what happened and how to feel about it. it’s driving me a little crazy
I did. For a very long time. I am getting better and feel more peaceful than I ever have been before. There is hope and I wish you well on your recovery journey. Just know sometimes healing hurts more than the need for it..but this time you hurt with intention and its a beautiful experience. Welcome all the pain in your healing process. I don't know you, but I have faith in you if you do this.
More than what caused the need for it*
@Wolfram thank you for the kind and encouraging words! you’re right - the attempt at healing right now is hurting more than the event itself ironically. have you found ocd treatment to be helpful for more trauma-specific issues?
@Anonymous A lot of things with ocd are ironic 😂 I have taken several approaches to get better since I found out I had it. I have/ had a few comorbid conditions so erp didn't work for everything. For trauma specific issues, group therapy was surprisingly helpful, and I'm still doing that once a week. Hearing the stories of others provides new perspectives and ways of thinking. The big hitter with my trauma though is emdr therapy. There's several different approaches with that and one that you don't even have to talk about it out loud, just think about it which I think is amazing. Some traumas were easy to deal with but I have/ had complex trauma and some take longer and the results aren't seen as quickly as others... But when you do, the overwhelming relief is beyond bliss. It's so cathartic. My recent one was probably the last issue I have to deal with and it's my moral scrupolousity, saviour complex and the underpinning issues. I felt like it was a part of my identity, or I identified as a part of it. I was working on the foundation of myself and that takes time to take apart and rebuild so be patient if your themes tie in with your beliefs, these ones take longer
@Wolfram Where do you do group therapy for trauma?
@Slicey Where I go is not specifically for trauma but everyone who goes there is traumatised in one way or another and seeking a way to better themselves. There are however specific groups for different types of trauma as I've been fortunate to have some of the women in mine have shared that with me.
My therapist says 100% of her OCD clients have childhood trauma so there is a lot to look at / treat and you are not alone. Your therapist should be trained and able to help you. I know this is easier said than done, but as someone who has also spent a lot of time obsessing about the past, I’m here to tell you it’s not going to change no matter how hard you think about it. Acceptance and letting it be are important. I have also found the Wu Wei Wisdom podcast helpful.
@Slicey This is really reassuring and helpful to hear, thank you
I did... it is horrible
@Speckles it is really sucking right now. i feel like all i can think about it are the horrible things from my past and childhood. i’m planning to talk about it with my NOCD therapist soon
@Anonymous Good idea!!
@Anonymous It sucks I know!!!
i currently am getting over my period and have been having a horrible flashbacks from some real events. it’s a amalgamation of all of the horrible things i did as a child/young teenager. all of it associated with p0rnography + sexual activities i did. i was exposed to sexual activity very young and it lead me down a dark path. i’ve had OCD forever it seems. it’s hard because i can see that i’ve had OCD symptoms since childhood but i constantly doubt wether or not my actions where because of OCD or something i genuinely wanted/was attracted to. i can’t seem to differentiate the two and it’s scaring me. i’m worried i was genuinely into the kind of stuff and it’s constantly flashing in my mind the last two days of things i compulsively did years ago. to be absolutely clear it has been years since i’ve even thought about those taboo things or saw anything of that sort. i’m talking 5 or 6 years give or take. it still feels like yesterday. in recent years i’ve completely pulled away from p0rn and now find it and s3x a lot less appealing. but every so often i get these intense flashbacks on things i did or saw or thought and it puts everything on hold. everything im interested in gets but on the back burner in fear of my intrusive thoughts being thrown into the mix. currently experiencing that now. im mortified of ruining everything i love because of these stupid thoughts. does anyone have any advice or experience with this specifically and have any tips???
the most debilitating ocd flare-up i’ve been having for the past few months has been about the guy i used to talk to. we weren’t dating per-se, but whatever was going on between us was very confusing and unclear, and it ended up with me being very hurt. he was basically leading me on, and couldn’t commit to me. it’s been months since we’ve stopped talking and i still can’t stop thinking about him. i don’t even care about him that much in an objective sense, but i am genuinely obsessed with him. everything i see reminds me of him, and my mind is constantly running through thoughts about him and our situation — why did it go the way it did, what did i do wrong, does he still think about me, etc. it’s honestly so humiliating and makes me feel pathetic because i know he’s probably moved on by now, and i still can’t handle the thought or sight of him. i just wish i could stop ruminating, because it’s gotten so bad that i can’t focus on school or anything else in life. it’s so constant to the point where, when i bring it up to my friends (which is very often), i’m met with concern and even frustration rather than sympathy. how can i cope with the rumination? it’s genuinely exhausting, and i can’t sleep at night because my brain is just running like a motor. i have dreams about it almost nightly as well. anything helps!
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
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