- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
yep, HOCD makes you see the world through a distorted perspective. in this case, being hyper focused on girls.
Yes and I’m not even excited when I see a boy
@GummyDrop mhm and if i am, my brain tells me that i’m faking it
@empathmind It just feels like it’ll be this way forever. You know?
@empathmind I’m just scared I actually have an attraction to girls, do you always get the feeling you like these thoughts?
@advice? yeah, my brain has a really hard time telling the difference between valid thoughts and non-valid thoughts
@advice? Yeah idk if I like the thoughts but I don’t wanna be gay and idk who I am anymore, before I had a fun life now everyday I’m just kinda wasting my day
@empathmind I do compare real or fake I’m mentally exhausted
@GummyDrop I totally understand. I’m really struggling with it as well. I would say the best thing to do is to stop questioning the thoughts. Let them happen and then let them pass. Stop trying to find evidence to prove that a thought is wrong or right. This only makes it worse. This is what I am trying to work on. And it’s FOR SURE easier said than done but I think eventually you will form a habit to not freak out whenever you have an intrusive thought.
@empathmind Do you think people with hocd still have intrusive thoughts but learned to just ignore them and not care?
yes. a few years ago, i developed HOCD and i think it lasted for SEVERAL months, if not a year. one day, i just wasn’t affected by it anymore. i would still hocd related thoughts that would pop up in the back of my head but they weren’t as intense and i was able to just let them go. about a month and a 1/2 ago, the HOCD came back. and im kinda stuck where i started. i think it was provoked by a change of meds.
Wow okay thanks for letting me know!
@advice? of course!
Was there ever a point where you felt like you were lying to yourself? Or in denial?
@NocturnalGyal when the HOCD went away?
Yes. I just feel gay now. I feel this really masculine energy coming from myself and it doesn't feel like me. It feels like it's starting to mix with tocd. I don't want to be trans. I've thought about it in the past because I used to hate being a girl, but I knew that I wasn't really. Now I'm scared I could actually be a man. It feel like I've opened some door in my brain that I wasn't aware of and let all of this shit out. I don't want to be a man. I don't want to think like a man either.
Sounds exactly like me but with guys!! Like a door opened or wearing goggles that show you a new world you didn’t know existed before
Was there ever a point where you thought you were lying to yourself?
Yup all the time. Im starting to feel wrong being with my boyfriend. Like I don’t belong with him.
@advice? I get that sometimes too. Luckily, my bf knows everything I'm going through so I don't get those thoughts as much because I know he's the only one I want regardless of what my damn HOCD or ROCD says
@NocturnalGyal Yeah I’m sure it makes you feel less guilty.
@advice? But it's okay girl. If you know that deep down, regardless of the shit going through your head, that you love your bf and want to be with him. Then that is what will happen. Plain and simple :) goodluck and don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I find being hard on myself only made me feel worse about my relationship
I feel you guys. I think like i just have to be lesbian even i dont want to be. Like i dont want to be
Yess hocd and shits makes me hella gay
I believe we are all attracted to each other’s certain features but not in a sexual way . It’s just a curious thought
I feel like I’m starting to deny my sexuality. Before this I never really thought about girls that way. Now I am and it terrifies me. It feels like I just don’t wanna accept that I’m lesbian. I’m so damn lost. It feels like I know I’m lesbian. But I just can’t be. Anyone feel this way? Probably reassurance but if any of you think I am or it seems like I am please tell me.
Does anyone else avoid people of the same sex when their HOCD flares up??? I’ve always unfollowed girls on my instagram that I thought were attractive because I was scared of liking them / and I didn’t want to see them because it made me think I found them attractive and stuff. Is this normal or is it just me being scared of admitting i’m gay? HOCD is so frustrating and confusing sometimes. Am I just scared of my truth☹️?
I’ve lost my sense of identity now (I don’t know how I am or what I want). I recently read that we can force ourselves to love people, be in denial when it comes to who we really are and develop attraction to an array of different people before and after puberty. Now it seems like my whole life is a lie. Has everything been forced? Am I secretly bi and in denial? Ugh, I hate it. To make it worse, I was recently watching a TV game show and a question about Katy Perry and her songs popped up. My immediate answer was her song I kissed a girl. Obviously, I took that as a mental sign. On top of that, I’ve had many “uncertain,” crushes (I wasn’t too sure whether I really liked them) that have actually developed into love. Now I’m wondering whether I forced myself to feel that way and I feel horrible; I just want to be with a man, not a woman. The idea of touching a women inappropriately makes me want to cry and throw up; it generally makes me distressed and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know who I am anymore; I was so boy crazy and romantic beforehand. Now I’m plagued with anxiety and uncertainty.
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