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- 5y
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- 5y
yep, HOCD makes you see the world through a distorted perspective. in this case, being hyper focused on girls.
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- 5y
Yes and I’m not even excited when I see a boy
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- 5y
@GummyDrop mhm and if i am, my brain tells me that i’m faking it
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@empathmind It just feels like it’ll be this way forever. You know?
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@empathmind I’m just scared I actually have an attraction to girls, do you always get the feeling you like these thoughts?
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- 5y
@advice? yeah, my brain has a really hard time telling the difference between valid thoughts and non-valid thoughts
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- 5y
@advice? Yeah idk if I like the thoughts but I don’t wanna be gay and idk who I am anymore, before I had a fun life now everyday I’m just kinda wasting my day
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- 5y
@empathmind I do compare real or fake I’m mentally exhausted
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- 5y
@GummyDrop I totally understand. I’m really struggling with it as well. I would say the best thing to do is to stop questioning the thoughts. Let them happen and then let them pass. Stop trying to find evidence to prove that a thought is wrong or right. This only makes it worse. This is what I am trying to work on. And it’s FOR SURE easier said than done but I think eventually you will form a habit to not freak out whenever you have an intrusive thought.
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- 5y
@empathmind Do you think people with hocd still have intrusive thoughts but learned to just ignore them and not care?
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yes. a few years ago, i developed HOCD and i think it lasted for SEVERAL months, if not a year. one day, i just wasn’t affected by it anymore. i would still hocd related thoughts that would pop up in the back of my head but they weren’t as intense and i was able to just let them go. about a month and a 1/2 ago, the HOCD came back. and im kinda stuck where i started. i think it was provoked by a change of meds.
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- 5y
Wow okay thanks for letting me know!
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@advice? of course!
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Was there ever a point where you felt like you were lying to yourself? Or in denial?
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@NocturnalGyal when the HOCD went away?
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- 5y
Yes. I just feel gay now. I feel this really masculine energy coming from myself and it doesn't feel like me. It feels like it's starting to mix with tocd. I don't want to be trans. I've thought about it in the past because I used to hate being a girl, but I knew that I wasn't really. Now I'm scared I could actually be a man. It feel like I've opened some door in my brain that I wasn't aware of and let all of this shit out. I don't want to be a man. I don't want to think like a man either.
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- 5y
Sounds exactly like me but with guys!! Like a door opened or wearing goggles that show you a new world you didn’t know existed before
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Was there ever a point where you thought you were lying to yourself?
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- 5y
Yup all the time. Im starting to feel wrong being with my boyfriend. Like I don’t belong with him.
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@advice? I get that sometimes too. Luckily, my bf knows everything I'm going through so I don't get those thoughts as much because I know he's the only one I want regardless of what my damn HOCD or ROCD says
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@NocturnalGyal Yeah I’m sure it makes you feel less guilty.
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@advice? But it's okay girl. If you know that deep down, regardless of the shit going through your head, that you love your bf and want to be with him. Then that is what will happen. Plain and simple :) goodluck and don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I find being hard on myself only made me feel worse about my relationship
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- 5y
I feel you guys. I think like i just have to be lesbian even i dont want to be. Like i dont want to be
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Yess hocd and shits makes me hella gay
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- 5y
I believe we are all attracted to each other’s certain features but not in a sexual way . It’s just a curious thought
Related posts
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- 15w
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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- 10w
hey guys, i am really really struggling and i feel like crying. evry day i get this feeling of sexual attraction to the same gender, and i get those feelings even just thinking about it now. i hste them and want them to go away but they simply won’t and it has me thinking that this is just how my life is gonna be like. when i was fully healed or atleast thought i was healed from the false attraction and soocd, i still sometimes got that attraction feeling, and i would force my body not to feel it. i hated it and was scared of liking it so i would like stop breathing and make it stop. it was only ever occasional but this is making me concerned now too, because i still sometimes felt that feeling when i was healed. now currently my main trigger is masculine girls, but when my soocd first started i had no false attraction or attraction like this towards girls, and it was all just in my mind like saying, “don’t look at that girl or you’re gay.” there was one point in my soocd where i was worried about being attracted to my friends, but i am greatful in the sense of i know that that is not true and my main issue is the false attraction watching videos and i have experienced it once in real life too and i hated it. please lmk what i should do or even if you can relate. i am sick of feeling th is way, and i am a christian too so this makes it harder. i’ve tried everything like accepting it, or trying to even say to myself yes u do like it but it always just leads to me being scared.
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- 10w
When first triggered it was every male possible. I couldn’t even go shopping… it was all ages of male, all sizes, and the groinal response was non stop. Like always a feeling there. Then it calmed down but male voices… I couldn’t listen to the music I use to enjoy or movies I’ve always been interested in. Then it kinda dyed down to people who are good looking but I’ve never in my life been attracted to males and beards. I couldn’t even always say they are good looking but never had this fear, the head ache constantly pounding feelings before. Now it’s still good looking males but I’m noticing body shape now? What is this!? Soon as I see a male figure my body feeling like it goes into shock, preparing for the anxiety feeling of ‘false’ attraction. It makes me sweat, and nauseous. Is this OCD or after 32 years of loving woman now gone? I don’t really have attraction towards woman (brief moments but not how I use to be) and this makes me so depressed. I don’t want to live like this. The only thing stoping me is my children and wife.
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