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- 5y
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- 5y
yep, HOCD makes you see the world through a distorted perspective. in this case, being hyper focused on girls.
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- 5y
Yes and I’m not even excited when I see a boy
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- 5y
@GummyDrop mhm and if i am, my brain tells me that i’m faking it
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@empathmind It just feels like it’ll be this way forever. You know?
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@empathmind I’m just scared I actually have an attraction to girls, do you always get the feeling you like these thoughts?
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- 5y
@advice? yeah, my brain has a really hard time telling the difference between valid thoughts and non-valid thoughts
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- 5y
@advice? Yeah idk if I like the thoughts but I don’t wanna be gay and idk who I am anymore, before I had a fun life now everyday I’m just kinda wasting my day
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- 5y
@empathmind I do compare real or fake I’m mentally exhausted
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- 5y
@GummyDrop I totally understand. I’m really struggling with it as well. I would say the best thing to do is to stop questioning the thoughts. Let them happen and then let them pass. Stop trying to find evidence to prove that a thought is wrong or right. This only makes it worse. This is what I am trying to work on. And it’s FOR SURE easier said than done but I think eventually you will form a habit to not freak out whenever you have an intrusive thought.
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@empathmind Do you think people with hocd still have intrusive thoughts but learned to just ignore them and not care?
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yes. a few years ago, i developed HOCD and i think it lasted for SEVERAL months, if not a year. one day, i just wasn’t affected by it anymore. i would still hocd related thoughts that would pop up in the back of my head but they weren’t as intense and i was able to just let them go. about a month and a 1/2 ago, the HOCD came back. and im kinda stuck where i started. i think it was provoked by a change of meds.
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- 5y
Wow okay thanks for letting me know!
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@advice? of course!
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Was there ever a point where you felt like you were lying to yourself? Or in denial?
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@NocturnalGyal when the HOCD went away?
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- 5y
Yes. I just feel gay now. I feel this really masculine energy coming from myself and it doesn't feel like me. It feels like it's starting to mix with tocd. I don't want to be trans. I've thought about it in the past because I used to hate being a girl, but I knew that I wasn't really. Now I'm scared I could actually be a man. It feel like I've opened some door in my brain that I wasn't aware of and let all of this shit out. I don't want to be a man. I don't want to think like a man either.
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- 5y
Sounds exactly like me but with guys!! Like a door opened or wearing goggles that show you a new world you didn’t know existed before
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Was there ever a point where you thought you were lying to yourself?
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Yup all the time. Im starting to feel wrong being with my boyfriend. Like I don’t belong with him.
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@advice? I get that sometimes too. Luckily, my bf knows everything I'm going through so I don't get those thoughts as much because I know he's the only one I want regardless of what my damn HOCD or ROCD says
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@NocturnalGyal Yeah I’m sure it makes you feel less guilty.
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@advice? But it's okay girl. If you know that deep down, regardless of the shit going through your head, that you love your bf and want to be with him. Then that is what will happen. Plain and simple :) goodluck and don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I find being hard on myself only made me feel worse about my relationship
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I feel you guys. I think like i just have to be lesbian even i dont want to be. Like i dont want to be
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Yess hocd and shits makes me hella gay
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I believe we are all attracted to each other’s certain features but not in a sexual way . It’s just a curious thought
Related posts
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- 20w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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- 11w
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
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- 11w
hey guys, i am really really struggling and i feel like crying. evry day i get this feeling of sexual attraction to the same gender, and i get those feelings even just thinking about it now. i hste them and want them to go away but they simply won’t and it has me thinking that this is just how my life is gonna be like. when i was fully healed or atleast thought i was healed from the false attraction and soocd, i still sometimes got that attraction feeling, and i would force my body not to feel it. i hated it and was scared of liking it so i would like stop breathing and make it stop. it was only ever occasional but this is making me concerned now too, because i still sometimes felt that feeling when i was healed. now currently my main trigger is masculine girls, but when my soocd first started i had no false attraction or attraction like this towards girls, and it was all just in my mind like saying, “don’t look at that girl or you’re gay.” there was one point in my soocd where i was worried about being attracted to my friends, but i am greatful in the sense of i know that that is not true and my main issue is the false attraction watching videos and i have experienced it once in real life too and i hated it. please lmk what i should do or even if you can relate. i am sick of feeling th is way, and i am a christian too so this makes it harder. i’ve tried everything like accepting it, or trying to even say to myself yes u do like it but it always just leads to me being scared.
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