- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
yep, HOCD makes you see the world through a distorted perspective. in this case, being hyper focused on girls.
Yes and I’m not even excited when I see a boy
@GummyDrop mhm and if i am, my brain tells me that i’m faking it
@empathmind It just feels like it’ll be this way forever. You know?
@empathmind I’m just scared I actually have an attraction to girls, do you always get the feeling you like these thoughts?
@advice? yeah, my brain has a really hard time telling the difference between valid thoughts and non-valid thoughts
@advice? Yeah idk if I like the thoughts but I don’t wanna be gay and idk who I am anymore, before I had a fun life now everyday I’m just kinda wasting my day
@empathmind I do compare real or fake I’m mentally exhausted
@GummyDrop I totally understand. I’m really struggling with it as well. I would say the best thing to do is to stop questioning the thoughts. Let them happen and then let them pass. Stop trying to find evidence to prove that a thought is wrong or right. This only makes it worse. This is what I am trying to work on. And it’s FOR SURE easier said than done but I think eventually you will form a habit to not freak out whenever you have an intrusive thought.
@empathmind Do you think people with hocd still have intrusive thoughts but learned to just ignore them and not care?
yes. a few years ago, i developed HOCD and i think it lasted for SEVERAL months, if not a year. one day, i just wasn’t affected by it anymore. i would still hocd related thoughts that would pop up in the back of my head but they weren’t as intense and i was able to just let them go. about a month and a 1/2 ago, the HOCD came back. and im kinda stuck where i started. i think it was provoked by a change of meds.
Wow okay thanks for letting me know!
@advice? of course!
Was there ever a point where you felt like you were lying to yourself? Or in denial?
@NocturnalGyal when the HOCD went away?
Yes. I just feel gay now. I feel this really masculine energy coming from myself and it doesn't feel like me. It feels like it's starting to mix with tocd. I don't want to be trans. I've thought about it in the past because I used to hate being a girl, but I knew that I wasn't really. Now I'm scared I could actually be a man. It feel like I've opened some door in my brain that I wasn't aware of and let all of this shit out. I don't want to be a man. I don't want to think like a man either.
Sounds exactly like me but with guys!! Like a door opened or wearing goggles that show you a new world you didn’t know existed before
Was there ever a point where you thought you were lying to yourself?
Yup all the time. Im starting to feel wrong being with my boyfriend. Like I don’t belong with him.
@advice? I get that sometimes too. Luckily, my bf knows everything I'm going through so I don't get those thoughts as much because I know he's the only one I want regardless of what my damn HOCD or ROCD says
@NocturnalGyal Yeah I’m sure it makes you feel less guilty.
@advice? But it's okay girl. If you know that deep down, regardless of the shit going through your head, that you love your bf and want to be with him. Then that is what will happen. Plain and simple :) goodluck and don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I find being hard on myself only made me feel worse about my relationship
I feel you guys. I think like i just have to be lesbian even i dont want to be. Like i dont want to be
Yess hocd and shits makes me hella gay
I believe we are all attracted to each other’s certain features but not in a sexual way . It’s just a curious thought
I used to not feel like this. Watching movies and not feel “attracted” to every single person. I was only actually attracted to a few, and they were all guys. Or not question if I do. Or see badass female characters and admire them in a subtle way without actually it being mistaken by attraction. Now it feels real. Like I’ve accepted it. Like I want to date girls. I used to be around guys in my school and feel awkward and uncomfortable, different. Now it’s all gone. I can’t even imagine myself loving a guy. It’s all gone.
It’s like I get anxiety towards any girl now. This feeling of First, thinking they are pretty Then, getting these series of emotions I can’t describe but there’s a hole in my stomach Last, Anxiety. A lot of anxiety. Feels like I want to *date* them These “attractions” feel so real. Like in actually gay. It’s like nothing can convince I am not anymore. It feels too real. And when I see hot guys, i Can just acknowledge they are hot now. Nothing else. I really just want to cry. It feels as if I was always like this. But for some reason it feels like I lost a part of myself. Like I lost my interest in guys. . I’ll never be with a woman, but I don’t think I’ll ever even be with a guy. The only thing I feel is anxiety. They feel too real for ocd to be behind this all, for this to just not be... real.
i always used to want a bf soo bad and i would get so jealous and kinda sad when i saw guys being cute with their girlfriends and now i don’t even care. like i’m not interested in anyone. and it scares me bc i didn’t lose my attraction bc i still see guys and i’m like omg he’s so cute and stuff but then i ask myself if i would date him and i can’t see myself dating him. and it makes me think i don’t actually like boys. and the guy i had liked for yearssss and wanted to be close with so bad, i don’t have feelings for him anymore. anyone else with hocd have this? you still have the physical attraction but you don’t want a relationship. it’s freaking me out
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