Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

I can't do this rn.......

So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.

Young adults with OCD

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 11w ago

Please try not to use chat GPT as reassurance or checking. That could make this a lot worse than before. You have to try and sit with those unfortunate thoughts. I'm sorry, but it's the best way to go about it all.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

I don't know what to do I'm scared of myself I don't even feel like me I feel like the anxiety is getting worse like I need to brain surgery

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 Try to calm down. Try to just breathe and take yourself somewhere mentally that will calm you down. I understand the anxiety and I get the feeling of needing to do something because it feels real. Just try not to fall into it and take deep breaths.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

Like I don't even feel like their thoughts anymore their just images that pop up in my mind and like I still don't feel shit even when I don't think about it or listen to music I daydream about guys and it's like i get thoughts of younger people and it's scaring me even when I'm out in public I get anxiety what is this is like tingly anxiety in my chest I don't understand it feels like excitement and it's horrible is this even ocd and everytime I wake up I get images of younger people in my mind I litterly keep having to imagine on purpose and be like am I attracted to them and I'll be like no I'm not then it goes away but then it pops back up again and I'm like why do i keep thinking about this am I really attracted to this I get like a gut feeling and knots like I don't understand it's so hard to explain because is it false or real like you can't all of a sudden become a monster

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 I should have never done that compulsion because if I haven't done it I would never be in this position nobody knows how I feel rn it's so bad it litterly feels like I actually am one even when I try to day dream about someone my mind wanders of yonger younger people like that is not normal!! Like I can't just go breath or distract myself when there's litterly images of things in the back of my mind that just sit there that I don't want to think about.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 Like I've been litterly thinking about offing myself this is not fun this is torture....it's never gotten this bad

Username: Jayden463Jayden463

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 You need to accept that ur thoughts r nothing they r just thoughts and ocd invades our thoughts with our fears and things tht go against our morals. So the reason ur feeling that way is because u actually aren’t a pedophile and u despise them therefore ocd puts fear in ur head that u may be one of them u are not trust me

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 Please try to relax. You only done that compulsions because you have OCD. That's what it wants you to do. It makes you think the compulsions will help. None of this is your fault. You didn't wish for this to happen and you are struggling. Do you have a therapist to talk to? This is seriously and it's affecting you strongly. Please don't beat yourself up for doing that compulsion. It happens.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 I got discharged. And ive tried to move on with this I've tried but it's like something in me is saying no this is who you are your a monster you can't move on its like a gut feeling that won't go away and it stays do you know the feeling like you want it to go but it can't go it's not leaving like I don't know how to explain it. It's like I've accepted this which is terrifying I'm really trying I keep telling myself oh maybe you are maybe you aren't it's not helping at all because I litterly feel like I am one its only making me more anxious. Like do I want this why do I feel like I want this to stay. That's the scary part does ocd make you feel like you want this to be who you are

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 I've had compulsions were I'm like ok and I move on but I can't with this one this is like the worst one I've ever done.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 The uncertainty pulls you back in because that's how OCD works. Do you want to say why you were discharged? Is there any way you can get back into therapy? It can help for sure to see someone about this. The anxiety is making you feel awful because it feels real, not because it's true. Maybe and maybe not takes a lot of practice and time for it to work. Trust me, this is all part of OCD. Accepting these thoughts IS NOT agreeing with them.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 I hope your right... all I want to do is for this to be over

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 The reason I got discharged was because I felt like my therapist wasn't working for me like her strategies and tools weren't working for me so she discharged me. She said she didn't want to make my ocd worse because at the time I was doing alot of compulsions were I felt the need I wanted to harm myself like really bad urges. So I'm still looking for one I scheduled a free call for today at 5:00 but nobody has answered or called me back...

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 Are you looking for a therapist on NOCD or elsewhere? I think it will help to make sure the therapist specializes in NOCD so that their advice doesn't backfire.

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 @BigGyro09 I was trying to look for one on brightside but yeah I'm trying to look for one on here.

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 I hope you do find one on here and that they accept your insurance!! I think it will be a huge benefit for you!

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@BigGyro09 Thanks

Username: Jayden463Jayden463

Date posted: 11w ago

Read my comment from 30 mins ago ur not a pedo I promise

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

I didn't see it I'm sorry

Username: MonologueManMonologueMan

Date posted: 11w ago

I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing so much distress, pain, and fear from these thoughts. I know I don’t fully understand how you feel, or what you’re going through, however, I have struggled with suicidal ideation, and continue to struggle with many other OCD thoughts and ruminations. I come from a religious background, and whether you do or not, I hope this may prove helpful for you. This is what has helped me the most in finding more peace of mind. It’s important to remember and recognize that you are not your brain. You are a child of God, or rather a soul, with an amazing tool called a body. Since we weren’t given the instruction manual on how to operate this amazing and powerful tool, in addition to many other factors, our brain can think things we’d prefer it didn’t. However, knowing we are not our brain, reminds us that we are not our thoughts. I often interact with my brain by talking to him. I acknowledge my brain is doing brain things, and then tell my brain I understand you’re doing something you think is important, but let’s think about something else right now. This may seem a little silly, I thought so when I first started, but the more you talk to your brain, the more you separate yourself from your thoughts, and the more you begin to have control over your behavior because thoughts become options from the tool in your head, rather than compulsions of who you are. I hope this makes sense, or helps in someway. Please remember, you are important, have value, and are loved. Your thoughts may be “evil,” but that doesn’t mean that you are evil. Please seek therapy and professional help as well, as they can be paramount in helping you overcome these painful times and thoughts. Best, Tyler

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 11w ago

Hey Romy, do you see the pattern? A few days ago, you got very stressed out and panicky about something else you did. You said it had been the worst ever and you are unable to get past it. Today you got stressed out and panicky about something else. The pattern I see, is that your OCD accuses you of doing something horrible, you feel horrible and try to resolve it by confessing and reassurance seeking - and maybe other compulsions. At some point, you either get over it somehow, or it gets replaced by something else your OCD accuses you of doing. The thing is, you didn't think you could let go of the last thing, but you could. Now you think, you can't let go of the current thing, but you definitely can!

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

I'm just afraid that I might feel like I'm actually attracted to younger people because of the compulsion like it litterly feels real when im out in public i see younger people i get anxiety in my chest its so weird its loke excitement but i dont like it I did it's like and its like when I tell myself or just sit with the thoughts I feel like thats actually who I am it's like I've accepted this like it's not going away and I try to push myself to be active because all I do is sleep all day it's hard for me to be active and do things.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 A lot, if not everyone who suffers from POCD has been at the point you are now. When I felt that way, I never thought, that it could get better at all, but it did.

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 11w ago

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 Are you still in therapy?

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@Zoë_84 No

Username: 🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 11w ago

@Zoë_84 Like I scheduled an appointment with someone earlier for this tommarow and idk what their going to say it's been going on for so long now I can't even look at me normally like everytime I daydream I get younger people popping up in my head it's scary that's not normal I feel tired all the time like I want to sleep like I feel like this is who I am now why do I feel like I want to keep thinking about the thoughts do I like them I feel like I like them and wanting to keep thing about them like it's just feels to real like it just feels like I want this to be who I am donyou know the feeling

Username: GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 23w ago

I’m a true monster

I (15m)am seeking advice because I believe I may have a false memory OCD. I am worried that I may have sexually harmed people without realizing it, especially my young cousins. I am also concerned that I may be a pdophile as i think im aroused by kids but idk if its kids or the idea of s*x. I believe my exposure to explicit content at a young age may have also given me hypersexuality, which still affects me.I feel guilt too because when i was younger i did cocsa against my younger brother he doesn't remember it but i do and i'm just scared what if i did other bad things like that. I do not want to use this as an excuse for my actions at age 14 when I made sexual advances/jokes towards my friends, causing them discomfort and harm. Some forgave me saying they didn't care about it now, but one friend ended our relationship due to my inappropriate behavior during a game and is scarred/traumatized and doesn't even want to look at me i tried to tell him i'm sorry but he doesn't really want me talking to him ever again. I am filled with guilt and shame for my actions and consider turning myself in as a result. The idea that I may have harmed someone without remembering it terrifies me, and I struggle to forgive myself for the pain I have caused others. I'm scared to even encounter people I hurt. I'm a monster that deserves to be beat up/ publicly hurt as most pdos/ s*x offenders do.

Username: niknicole

Date posted: 23w ago

Help

I haven’t been diagnosed yet but I honestly think I have POCD. I have been getting a lot of images or thoughts of children lately, like sexually too and it’s been very disturbing. The thoughts have been nonstop. I have three nephews at home and I’m scared that if I look at them for too long or make eye contact, then that means I’m attracted to them. I have been avoiding them for the past few days and when I hung out with my friend the other day, we were talking about our future and it made me feel so anxious and sad and guilty because of these thoughts I’ve been having. I have to keep telling myself that I know I don’t feel attracted to them in any way but then the question pops up, like “are you really sure about that?” I almost committed a few days ago because of it and the only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t want to leave my mom or my sister. I did some self harm too and I have to keep reminding myself that if I really felt that way towards kids, then I wouldn’t be going through this much. I feel so guilty because I’ve broken down in front of my mom and she keeps asking what’s wrong but I feel like I can’t tell her. Yesterday and today though, I feel really out of place because I feel like I can’t feel anything when the thoughts come up and I don’t know if that’s normal. Does that mean I’m actually that kind of person? It genuinely scares me to even think about.

POCD

Username: niknicole

Date posted: 19w ago

POCD

Okay, so I was exposed to porn at 9. My older cousin came over to the house and asked if I could keep a secret and stuff and then he showed me porn. I got addicted to it ngl. I would watch it whenever I could and would always think about it when I wasn’t home. Because of this, I started reading mangas on this one website and I was still in elementary school when I started reading these I think, either that or middle school. Anyways, there was this one about these kids who did it and I was like oh I’m the same age as them and all that you know so I didn’t think much of it. I would still read it up to when I was in high school but I wouldn’t like read it often, I would just read it because I was familiar with it and it felt like I was still their age for some reason, like I didn’t see them as kids you know, it felt like they were my age. Oh my god, that makes it sound even worse. When my POCD started, I stopped reading that story because I was it terrified me so a little before I turned 18. I keep going back and forth on whether or not I’m actually a pedophile or not. I don’t know if it’s because I was exposed to that stuff so early and my cousin would constantly talk about sex when he was with me. I thought it was so normal to be reading and looking at that stuff. I didn’t realize. I’m scared that my nephews are going to be exposed to that so early like I was. My POCD mostly targets my nephews and now I’m scared that I’ll do the same thing to them and show them that stuff (I never will) or that I genuinely do like that stuff. I feel like throwing up while writing this. I just don’t want to be one. I’m sorry if this triggers you or if this seems like I’m seeking reassurance and maybe I am. I genuinely don’t know right now. I think I just needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been worrying about it for awhile.

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