Is it normal that when you have hocd you like get turned on by more same sex thoughts because they cause you these groinal responses not caring do you feel comfortable or not. But when you tryna have like straight sex thoughts you enjoy them little end then your brain is no you are faking it you don’t like that so you can not enjoy them fully anymore? I am dying here because I am scared that’s mean I am lesbian

Oh its you again! Its just like i feel so gay its feeled like i even wanna test to have lesbian sex to seeing do i feel something but idk i still get these groinal responses but inside i just feel emptines. The worst part that i can not even get turned on so many times when i think about straight sex because its just feels like i am lying to myself and because like fingering hurts for me i am so afraid that then i am not able to find sex pleasure with a guy then. But rubbing my clit I have been always find pleasurable so I think yeah that’s have to be because I am lesbian. Then I get these thoughts me having lesbian sex(rubbing my clit to other ones) like test do I feel something then I get this one hit in my heart like I am afraid but at the same time I got aroused like I am so messed up right now idk what to do anymore.

@Asnku No. There aren't very many nerve endings inside of the vagina specifically. If there were child birth would be a lot more excruciatingly painful. Babies have to be able to pass through the birthcanal, if we had more nerve endings there surviving childbirth probably wouldn't be possible.

@Asnku By no, I mean your assumption is wrong.

@Asnku Never act on anything just because of your OCD , it doesn’t deserve that power ! The reason you can’t get turned on by straight sex is because you’re putting pressure on yourself to do so , so your brain kind of goes numb because your put so much energy into it your system kind of just cancels out in a sense. Plus it’s not genuine since you’re trying so hard , and the anxiety you experience isn’t going to help you get turned on , it’s going to make it very difficult. Sexual arousal won’t usually happen when you’re anxious , it will happen when you are relaxed and in a good state of mind typically. As for the pleasure thing , fingering is different from actual sex with a guy... lol. Plus it would maybe take time to learn how to make the experience enjoyable , but that’s okay. That doesn’t mean anything about your sexuality. And just because you like self stimulation doesn’t mean you would like sex with a girl , I think most people enjoy that yet they are straight ! Please stop doing the compulsions , when you get the answers you want , you’ll have another doubt in a different area. It’s a lot like being in a building you don’t like , instead of trying to tear it down constantly , you have to walk out !! All the best to you , try your hardest to resist the compulsions , sit with the anxiety and accept how you feel ! And things will start to get better even if it takes some time. :)

@hateocd123 Thank for you answering. I am just thinking how i can find it pleasurable then. I am virgin so I am just curios and at the same time afraid

@xiiiandreww Yea it’s just messing my so hard right now because straight porn dosent really do anything to me even I want to. But then lesbian porn does but I do not want that. Like it feels like have to watch lesbian porn to get turned on or have “orgasm” but after I have watched it I feel sick and I cry hella lot. And my day can get worse then. I feel so depressed. Like I want my sexual desires back I don’t want to have sex with a girl, I don’t want to get turned on by it. I feel so depressed

@Asnku I think you’re train of thought here is that the type of porn you like automatically determines your sexual orientation , and not to provide you reassurance , but that’s not true. There could be many reasons why you would prefer lesbian porn to straight porn , I’m pretty sure many straight women feel the same way. I’m not necessarily saying it MEANS you are straight , I’m just saying it means you can’t use it as a way to determine your sexuality. Your job is to accept the thoughts and uncertainty , try to embrace it so it loses its power over you. It takes time and patience , but it is effective.

@xiiiandreww Yeah i do still remember how i like its straight porn too but right now because of hocd its hard to enjoy it right now because hocd. And yes I know some straight women actually prefer lesbian porn over straight porn I think because it focus on women pleasure but for me it’s right now nightmare right now that I got aroused by that and not straight porn because I want to get aroused by that. But like your early said I think I don’t get turned on because I want to get aroused by it so bad. I should really stop checking that by porn because it’s dosent do anything good for me right now it’s just make feel more and more lesbian what I don’t want to be. Do you think I can get back these loss sexual attraction back to boys right there were or I am gonna be forever stuck in this?

@Asnku I totally think you can get back that attraction to guys , but first you have to no longer engage with compulsions and you have to ignore the thoughts because all they are is thoughts after all. It’s about how you react to them ! Once you get comfortable with uncertainty and realize it isn’t as bad as you may think , your normal feelings will show up. But don’t pressure yourself !

@xiiiandreww Thank you! Right now i just gonna focus like feelings. Because i do have feelings on this one guy so i focus on that and tryna get better! And i stop watching porn too because its just makes me feel bad because i have this situation going on.

@xiiiandreww I have an issue with thinking the thoughts are really important. I've tried keeping in mind that I'm already aware of the fact that there's a possibility I could be gay and that it's not something I need to focus on, but that's not good enough apparently. I feel I HAVE to focus on it all day. My ocd say focusing on it all day is acceptance and doing anything else is denial. It seems that its tricked me into thinking this is the way I get better and now I'm stuck in a loop.

@hateocd123 I understand the power of thinking you have to feel a certain way or think a certain way , and it’s okay that you feel that way right now. You don’t actually have to change how you are feeling at this very moment , instead , you have to ( and I hate this saying but it’s true ) “ fake it until you make it “. Every time you have that thought , tell yourself that it’s just a brain glitch or chemical imbalance , and that you don’t need to focus on it. Try reminding yourself of the many different aspects of your identity , so even though sexuality is part of who you are , it isn’t all of who you are. The reason you don’t have to feel it at first is that by telling yourself something repeatedly, your thought pattern is reshaping your brain for the better ! It’s almost like jumping into a cold pool and adjusting to the temperature. Hope this helped !!