Does anyone share similar obsessions? reverse ROCD

I can relate to this feeling. Me and my boyfriend were in the same friend group for a year before we dated. So I unfortunately heard him and his other single buddies talk about their ideal women types and such. He was into skinny and dark emo women with tattoos and piercings. And even though I dip into alt fashion sometimes, I'm definitely more earthy/artsy...with some curves too. But here's what I've learned since being with him. First of all, "types" can change and they don't mean everything, especially to guys. For my boyfriend, when he was younger it was "cool" to be into almost characteristic women. It might have been the video game brain? And also talking to your spouse might help, it did for me. It started with me asking in a joking tone "would you like me more if I was an emo??" But seriously, ask him so clearly your concerns. You'll know by his answer if this guy cares about you. In a past relationship I had the same fear, but that man would try to change me, he was restrictive on how I would dye my hair or what kind of aesthetic I would portray. He would do it in subtle ways, I felt like I WAS a character specifically made for him. And this was his desire, not mine. Trust yourself, find what makes you happy, your clothes, your aesthetic, whatever. If he loves you, he will love to see the happiness that flows from you when you are being your true self.

Hey, I don’t have any advice, but what you wrote really moved me, the feeling you describe that you might not be „enough“ and might loose your boyfriend. I don’t believe you need to worry about that, because your boyfriend/fiancé sees things in you that make him want to choose you and only you. No one else. I honestly strongly believe that.

Hey, I’ve been in a similar situation and I get it. Unfortunately me and my boyfriend at the time did not work out for other reasons, but he did have a horrible porn addiction as well which made me feel inadequate. I hated going in public with him and essentially exactly what you described, it also made me begin to resent other women. I think first and foremost discussing this with your partner may help you, even if bringing it up as a joke and to test out the waters. Not to speculate, but it sounds a little like you aren’t feeling reassured in the relationship as well, maybe broach that subject too or evaluate if he is offering you the reassurance and respect you deserve. Ultimately in my previous relationship he was not giving me the respect I deserved and that really led to these feelings as well. You are intrinsically beautiful and he cannot change that based on his view of you ever.