OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

Help Groinal response who read it I appreciate it

I feel like I want to throw up I’m think I’m having Groinal response for like 4 days none stood I can’t stop crying. When I’m hyper focused it’s terrible I feel it. I’m afraid I’m doing it on purpose and when I’m thinking I’m having the Groinal on purpose I have a specific intrusive thoughts that kills me it’s on someone specific I want to throw up . I feel super bad it’s for four days in a row I can’t stop crying I hate that feeling. I think i move my groin on purpose to the thought it’s every second of the day. I feel like I want to throw up I feel horrible I never felt like this. I don’t want to move my groin to the thought I don’t I swear I feel carzy and it’s a specific thought with specific person. I just broke down in front of my parents again I can’t live like this. I’m a bad person. It’s just that I get the urge down there to move my groin and I’m not doing this purpose to the thought but they come and I feel horrible. It’s like this all day I could feel my going and I have the urge to move it and a spesific imag shows up I want to throw up. It’s been horrible 4 days what if I’m a p I don’t want to be one I want to throw up now can’t stop crying. Please why me why me why me what if I’m a p ? I don’t want to be one. I don’t want to move my groin to the thought but it’s happen because of a stopid urge and because I hyper focus. What if I’m move my groin purposely to the thought??? No no no omg. I can’t live like this omg whattt? I feel like a monster? How will I live a normal life? When I can’t pass the day??? Nothing helps not therapy not medication so maybe it’s means I’m a p and a bad person I don’t want to be one. But my stopid mind is always against me I want to throw up. I just cried in front of my parents again and they got mad again omg I’m terrified I barely could sleep at night. What if I do it on purpose ?? What if I’m a one? What if I never live a normal life? I can’t do it

POCD

King silly

Date posted: 39w

I know how exactly you feel and unfortunately we don’t always have the answers, the best thing to do with ocd is sit with the uncertainty of knowing if it was or wasn’t, I don’t want to give any reassurance so I apologize this message is short

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@King silly Thank you for answering🙏 but I think I’m doing this on purpose it’s just all day I don’t know how to explain the urge it’s horrible. I don’t want the thought to be here but they come. I know I can’t get an answer but I’m afraid I’m a super bad person. Like the baddest person to ever exist. I don’t want to do it on purpose but my mind is hyper focus causing an urge and the thoughts are here and I feel horrible. And again thank you so much for answering genuinely

King silly

Date posted: 39w

@OrMsB Of course I try my best to help, I also understand the situation you’re going through, trying to say this in the best way possible without again, reassurance, but trust me when I say your situation you’re going through is a very common phenomenon that everyone has went through, even I have, specifically and exactly like this, it’s hard but you will get there, you can trust me on that!

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@King silly I wish I can get there I’m afraid it will be forever. And hearing this is common helps a bit. But I’m afraid I’m just doing it on purpose it’s terrified me cause I don’t want to do it on purpose I wish one day it’s will be good and I can recover but it’s seems impossible. And again thank you

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

What if I never heal? What if this isn’t ocd and it’s me? I know that “what ifs” are ocd but what if I’m the only person that it’s not true about me? That even though I had other themes and thoughts it’s not Pocd but I’m actually a p? What if I’m the exception?? I don’t want to be a p. How will I keep living with the fact I might be one?

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@OrMsB I just want my old life back and to be my old self. But what if it never going to happen? It’s probably never going to happen my life are ruined

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@OrMsB I feel like I don’t deserve to live because of it like I should go to jail. What if I go to jail? I’m only 16!!! I don’t want to go to jail!! I don’t want to be a bad person!!! I don’t want to be a monster!!! I just want to be normal without those thoughts and urges!! But what if this is me? And ocd just decided to saw me that it’s the real me? What if I have ocd but not Pocd? What if I don’t have a future because of that? What if the Groinal NEVER go away and will be till my last breath? What if I always hyper focus?? I just want my life back I feel like I’m going crazy I don’t want to be crazy how do I fix myself? What if I do it for attention? Omg the what ifs are killing me

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@OrMsB What if I stay alone Because of it? I’m feeling super alone right now so what promise me I won’t be alone in the future? I just want to calm down. If this is ocd how did it got so bad? I feel like I would never recover

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@Nick3841 Thank you so much🙏 the feeling that I’m doing it on purpose kills me because I don’t want to do it at all but the moments does happen I do genuinely think I have half of control about it but not full of that make sense when I’m hyper focused it’s just happened and the thoughts are always there so it’s together (the movement & thoughts) and it’s make me want to throw up. Cause I did cut a lot of my physical compulsions that I had but this? I feel like I don’t have a full control on that and I hate that. My ocd (if it’s ocd and I hope) says to do it on purpose and it gives me a thoughts like “it’s so easy to do” “your ocd will go away if you do it” i swear im not doing this on purpose and I fight with the urge but it’s feels impossible. I can’t fight forever , four day I fought and im tired of this k don’t want to do it on purpose I don’t I swear. But why my ocd is like this? I just want the thought and feeling to go away and never come back again. Im afraid it will be forever every second in my life until my last and it’s terrifying me. Thank you for answering and im sorry if im bothering you

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@Nick3841 Yes your right I should sit with this and say “maybe it’s on purpose maybe it’s not” but why it’s so hard? Im feeling weak cause im sick of fighting every second of the day I don’t want to be a bad person it’s my nightmare

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@Nick3841 Thank you so much for this really. May I ask if this got better for you /easier? (You don’t have to answer ) I just my fear is that it’s going to be forever and I just want it to go away. I want to gain the life I had back it’s the only thing I want in life now. Thank you so much 🙏this helped me

OrMsB

Date posted: 39w

@Nick3841 I’m actually seeing a therapist and I’m feeling more understanding about ocd and I cut a lot of my physical compulsions that I had. But this one is the hardest (it’s mental too) cause right now it’s every second of the day and I’m afraid what if I do that on purpose to get rid of the thought and I don’t want to like I don’t but it’s in my mind all day and so annoying like I’m little bit anxious but I’m so angry that the thought to do it is here. I feel bad cause I don’t want to even think that or do it on purpose and that’s kills me ,im trying to figure out ways to do erp for this and I have no idea . Im just terrified it’s going to be every second of the day . And thank you so much for what you said yesterday really helped me

lu22

Date posted: 23w

Can someone reply, felt bad for days don’t know

I can’t feel happy I can’t forget how these thoughts felt and I’m actually believing I’m bad, I imagined my intrusive thoughts about stabbing on purpose it felt like I know how it feels to do that physical action and I like how it feels and then I got this feeling like I was suddenly really happy or excited about it like I discovered why evil people get a thrill out of doing evil things and it’s sticking with me I can’t forget about it or argue with it or get rid of it normally I can find reasons to know it’s not true and forget about it but this time it felt like the feeling actually came from me as if I genuinely felt happy and thought it would be enjoyable or pleasurable/appealing to do that evil thing it doesn’t feel ego dystonic i feel abnormal like im pretending to be normal I don’t even have much anxiety I just hate my life im having this i don’t know what to do unless I can find a reason to move on and think no that wasn’t real then I can’t move on everytime I rember how it felt or that feeling of being happy it feels like oh my god like I can the saved or helped please I need a solution. If it’s true that I actually felt like that horrible thing could be enjoyable can I be helped? No I can’t that means I’m bad and now I can’t be helped and have to be in a mental home because I swear it felt like it was me who felt happy not a fake feeling and I’m jsut fighting against it because I wasn’t always evil but I swear it feels like I actually liked it and it appealed to me I don’t know how to deal with this

HOY

Date posted: 20w

False arousal and uncertainty

Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self

POCD

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 16w

Groinal non concordance during salah

Ugh i was making salah and has groinals. And worried i heard my childs voice. I struggke with pocd. I moved my legs because it hit the bed and i heard my kids voice then i felt groinals as i was bowing in ruku. My compulsion is saying stop and no and adjusting. And my ocd also causes involuntary intrusivr movements. Like sudden twitches or hip thrusts or bodily movements. I just remember adjusting while in ruku and saying no and stop to the thoughts. I also remember feeling thr groinals and just being in third person and observing jt. I also froze up and felt stuck. This happened twice. Then ocd says i was arousing myself over my kids voice during salah which i know is absurd its ego dystonic its ocd. I hate having pocd and groinals. I know i was just adjusting because ei hit the bed. Then i felt groinals and heard my kids voice and felt triggered by pocd. Then i felt my body twitching in ruku and me adjusting and also freezing up and getting stuck. Ocd tries ti make me thing i did something sexually inappropriate during prayer. I know thats not who i am. I dont do sexual inappropriate acts and especially not during prayer. I’ve already been very anxious for days so i know its just a continuation of ocd attacking me. I just hate that ofd makes me think by me adjusting and by bodily movements anxiously intrusively incoluntary moving and me getting stuck that i did something bad thats what ocd tells me. I know its not true. Why does ocd make us think or feel we did something bad

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