If POCD isn’t bothering me, harm ocd is. I have this fear that my (ex?) best friend like felt forced to do certain things and might have not told me?!! It scares me to think about, and my friend normally talks the logic through with me. That if I hurt her in that way she prooooobably would have said something about it when we were arguing. But it still scares me I guess to think about. I do know she wants me to be happy- even as angry as she was she said she wanted me to be happy. So that’s something right?

Harm OCD

sam121

Date posted: 5y

There’s nothing I can say or you can tell yourself that’ll make those thoughts go away. You need to accept that make you did and maybe you didn’t. But also that you can’t change it and know you want to be better. If you dwell on the thoughts they’ll only get worse. But if you accept them as something that may or may not have happened you can work on overcoming the anxiety that follows

Mars

Date posted: 5y

Thank you. All I feel I can do is really tell myself that if I hurt her in a specific way that scares me to think of is that she probably would 1. Would have told me that and 2. Would not want me to be happy.

sam121

Date posted: 5y

I think as long as you communicated that you want to make sure she’s okay and she knows that then everything will be fine. You can’t change the past. And if you just focus on the future and letting people know your intent and they express how they feel it’ll be fine

Mars

Date posted: 5y

I can’t speak to her right now. We’re on a “break” but at this point the times I did try speaking to her this may be a permanent break. Like I said my friend tells me if my best friend was hurt in that way she would have said something by now. I try to remember that and that my best friend DOES want me to be happy still despite everything... I just... have fear and ocd wants to bring me down

sam121

Date posted: 5y

I think that if she needs space then that is something you have to respect and in doing that you’re doing something good for her. I can’t speak about the past cause I don’t know what happened but I know that people sometimes walk in and walk out of our lives and if we focus on the relationships going on rn in our lives and learn from past ones that’s all we can really do

sam121

Date posted: 5y

If you can somehow turn your thoughts of doubt about yours and hers relationship into a learning experience and into thoughts of I hope she is doing well right now then that could help. But it does take a lot of practice and focus to do that

Mars

Date posted: 5y

Well like there are things I do know I did wrong and I’m trying to work on them. That isn’t the problem. I’m scared there may be ways I hurt her that she DIDNT tell me. Because she did tell me how I did hurt her, but my ocd is like what if you hurt her more than she told you.

sam121

Date posted: 5y

I think that you need to focus on just making sure that 1. You told her everything and 2. You want her to be happy. What you put out towards other people will always come back one way or another. If you focus on knowing you did all you could do then there is nothing else to stress about. She may hold a grudge or keep things to herself but that is on her and in no way on you

Mars

Date posted: 5y

I sadly didn’t get the chance to ask her about this specific thing my ocd gets me about. But my friend has talked to her and my best friend has said she said everything there was to say for closure. She may ask her eventually for me, but my friend thinks I need to stop worrying and thinks I didn’t hurt her in a certain way that I’m scared I did. She thinks if I hurt her in a certain way she would have said it along with everything else she said. Idk.. I’m trying to work on what she did give me and I’m trying to learn to be better but my ocd nags like what if, finding any way to turn me into a monster and not just an imperfect human.

GummyDrop

Date posted: 5y

I have hocd and I had a random thought of a little girls downstairs and I’m sad knowing that I could’ve liked it. I can’t do anything like my hobbies knowing that I could be a lesbian pedofile. It’s sucks so much I want happiness and not think about these lesbian thoughts. What does this mean

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