Blurred lines between exposures and compulsions

When it comes to soocd exposures, that sometimes means engaging in triggering things like sex and intimacy with my partner, but I worry that I am sometimes also being compulsive like wanting to be intimate to see how it makes me feel, check my feelings, sensations, emotions etc. and then at that point how can I really do the exposure? Idk I’ve just been struggling so much with this theme lately. I feel like a fraud most of the time and the thoughts convince me I am deeply in denial, constant loop.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 12w ago

This sounds challenging but I think the goal is to accept the feeling, whatever it may be - even if it's feeling like a fraud, feeling uncertain of your motive, etc - without having to understand, identify, internalize, neutralize or rid yourself of the feeling. For example, I think, if you're questioning if you're doing a compulsion or an exposure to say, I'm not sure and that's okay and carry on. And as for, feeling like a fraud, something that has been helpful to me in therapy is identifying what OCD wants me to believe and making a script to talk back to OCD on each point. For example, feeling like a fraud might have a comeback along the lines of "I don't give OCD permission to tell me a fraud just because I lack certainty."

Username: anxioussimanxioussim

Date posted: 12w ago

Hey yes 100% with you on this. This theme has totally made intimacy so hard to be natural for me. I also find myself checking often during intimacy and the lines are super blurred for me when it comes to an exposure and compulsion. Not to mention if an intimate act doesnt play out the way I think it should feel (like lets say I dont “feel” enough when kissing) i totally spiral and become MORE anxious. It’s absolutely wild. I dont really have any tips but just here to say im here there with ya on this.

Username: anxioussimanxioussim

Date posted: 12w ago

@anxioussim And apologies I knooow mt replying is adding to “reassurance seeking” but i guess it’s sometimes nice to know we’re not alone 😓

Username: Miss.OCDMiss.OCD

Date posted: 12d ago

Hey! How’re we both doing?

Username: JesusSaves424

Date posted: 24w ago

Does anyone relate?

⚠️ TW sexual themes ⚠️ I have OCD regarding sexual themes. I struggle with real event/false memory OCD, and I used to struggle with different sexual sins before me and my boyfriend were together. My OCD tells me that if we get married, and we consummate our marriage, that it’ll be sex under false pretenses if I don’t confess everything I’ve ever thought/done in regards to my past. It makes me feel like when we do end up exploring the sexual aspect of our relationship, that it’ll be SA unless he knows everything. OCD is ridiculous. Can anyone relate to this? The thought of hurting him in that way actually makes me sick to my stomach and makes me shake.

Username: niknicole

Date posted: 22w ago

._.

Everything feels so real. I think learning about non-offending pedophiles has really screwed with me. I feel like I’m not even doing compulsions anymore like I genuinely cannot remember if I do them or not and the groinal responses are messing with me. I keep having intrusive dreams and I’m in that half asleep state and I feel nothing after that or I feel weird like a good weird, I don’t know. It’s a really weird feeling when I get those thoughts but I don’t like them, I don’t think. All I know is, I keep seeking reassurance and I feel like I don’t have OCD because the way I feel, like the way I get worked up isn’t the same as others. Whenever I try to watch a show, like 9-1-1 or daily dose of sunshine, I feel like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. Or if I’m just on my phone, I feel like something is going to happen. I feel red flags whenever I’m on my phone, like somehow cp will appear. I know that OCD is the doubting disorder but my god, this is just crazy. I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything is just nonstop, it’s so constant and I’m genuinely scared that I’ll do something when I get out of my room. I don’t know anymore, this whole OCD thing is just making me lose my mind.

Username: Mooooni

Date posted: 21w ago

Ocd and sex

I noticed I’ve been posting a lot these past few weeks. I just hate my brain and been having a lot of ocd I’m very picky who I’m intimate with. I also have a strong fear of stds/hiv very heavily. I am afraid of lots of things but I can’t live in fear so I decided to engage in intimacy last night. (TMI) I thought the condom popped, but when he showed me it was closed and sealed but my ocd brain is thinking some of it ripped. Now I know that you have to expose yourself to situations that threaten you. I also noticed that I beat myself up heavy when I do an exposure and im still paranoid and then become grateful I’m so tired of my brain and not being able to enjoy anything sometimes: I sometimes feel like leaving this earth.

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Blurred lines between exposures and compulsions

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