Delo

Date posted: 38w

Need some hope/motivation.

Last night, I had a panic attack/OCD attack over Solipsism OCD. I had a feeling that I will feel this panic in my stomach and this Derealization forever during it. I had a panic attack like this a few months ago from THC and left me in a state of constant DPDR and made my OCD and anxiety deteriorate. Since that THC panic attack i’ve been doing much bettter until last night when it went to absolute hell. I feel like i’ve relapsed my recovery and feel the same awful state I was in 2 months ago. Still bothered by Solipism OCD and want to know has anyone had an awful episode like that and fully recovered and is no longer bothered by Solipism/Existential OCD. Last night really ruined my confidence and motivation for recovery and just need some support and motivation.

Existential OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

But there is hope for you. I was so bad at one point that I thought I was going crazy and would never recover and now I feel like I’m able to live life on my terms and do what I value

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Thanks again, now do you know everyone is real and human and don’t believe solipsism?

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Also how long did your recovery take and did you use medication or how?

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

Yes, it does not interfere with me living my life anymore because I’ve learned not to engage with it

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Also did you use meds or recover just from therapy.

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

Yes

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

No CBT would be bad for ocd highly recommend ERP. But you can start now by practicing response prevention. Which means not answering the ocd questions when they come up.

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Is that actually effective long term?

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Delo I mean the response prevention

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

Yeah it is, you won’t be perfect at first but the more you don’t engage the easier it gets and eventually it just becomes second nature

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

Yes I have had bad episodes with this. And have been able to recover. Recovery is simple in the sense it’s not complicated but it’s very hard. When those thoughts, feelings, images or sensations come up, don’t try to figure it out. Literally tell yourself there I go again, I’m not going to give this my attention or I’m not going to try and answer this question. As you practice this, the thoughts will start to come up less and feel less anxiety provoking because you know everything will be ok if you don’t answer them

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Thanks so much for response. Did you struggle with Solipism specifically as i’m struggling with that and have you recovered to the point where you can go daily happily without being bothered by that concept?

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

Yes I struggled with that concept specifically and other existential ocd themes. Yes, I am at a point where most of the time I can go about my days without engaging in these thoughts. The questions do still come up and that’s ok, but I feel better knowing that I don’t need to answer them. Don’t get so hung up on the ocd subtype, ocd is the doubt disorder and we have to learn how to handle all types of uncertainty. When you stop engaging with the solipsism thoughts you may have something else come up unrelated and you have to be careful not to engage with that either

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

I think that question is probably you seeking reassurance. The problem is that no matter how good of an argument is made that other people are aware you will have one more “what if” or doubt because that’s how OCD works. Ultimately nothing is proven. Even in science there is no such thing as a concept being proven. Instead we can have trust or faith. So what can do do? Have faith that you have OCD and realize that you are seeking certainty that doesn’t exist. The first step is not engaging with the question. I know it’s very hard and scary but do not give the question your attention.

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous I’m just feeling really overwhelmed and I just want a bit of hope. I just want to know that it is possible to go back to normal eventually without being worried about Solipsism or existential OCD.

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

My recovery took a few months, it does take time. I think it would have gone faster if I knew the information I know now. I would recommend working with a therapist if you have the resources. I did take some hydroxyzine which helped with sleep. It’s a very low grade anti anxiety medication. I would recommend checking out Jenna Overbaugh she has some courses that are great and have been very helpful

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Thanks, Can you live life now without Solipsism interfering daily and causing distress?

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

I used the meds to help with my sleep but tapered off of them. The therapy is what helped the most and learning about ocd and how to not engage with thoughts

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Are you free of existential ocd/solipism without meds?

Anonymous

Date posted: 38w

Meds are probably not a long term solution you have to do the work. You should get into ERP therapy if you can afford it. That would be the best place to start

Delo

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous Is CBT any good? I don’t get how ERP could work but hopefully it will.

user23456789

Date posted: 16w

Existential OCD

Hey guys so I’m new here and just recently started struggling with some health ocd and thinking I had a brain tumor but it’s taken a turn for the worse and become this existential ocd where I’m questioning quite literally everything in my life, the purpose of being here and stuff. I just started meds yesterday, which is scary for me cause I’ve never been on them before. I keep having thoughts like, why does everything feel like a blur, what’s the meaning of this and I wake up every day with just existential dread. I’ve been having very vivid dreams that make dreaming and reality confusing I also am scared cause I’m dealing with some DP/DR as well. I just wish my life could go back to a few months ago before I knew all of this was possible. I guess I’m just writing this too get it off my chest and see if any of you all have gone through something similar and made it out okay?

Medicine2021_

Date posted: 16w

Suicidal OCD and harm OCD

I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…

cait1299

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13w

Really struggling!

Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!

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