Obsession with my bf being friends with others

Hello! I'm not really sure how this works or anything like that but I thought this would help. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months and the relationship has been pretty great so far, but as all relationships are there's been some bumps. No matter how hard I try, I can't get over the times where he's hurt my feelings in the past, like when he kept postponing my birthday hangout w/each other, then hung out with his friends on my birthday that night & when I brought it up to him how he made me cry on my birthday, he kind of turned it on me but in a nonchalant way. Or how he takes quite a while to text me back, but when it comes to his friends he's always hanging out with them but when we're hanging out, he answers them right away. I just don't know how to be able to move on from those being that this is my first relationship. Of course I have my faults too, I know that I get obsessive over it. He told me that he feels like I don't give his friends a chance, but #1: How can I feel ready to give them a chance to be friends when there has already been so many negative experiences, and #2: Why can he not just text me a quick message back or a "Hey I'm going to be busy for the next few hours so I won't be able to text back, but I love you and I'll text you when I'm finished here."?. I really do love him and we have good times together & I want to try and make it work. Are there any tips on how I can better myself or things I should bring up to him?

Relationship OCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 35w

Hi, I honestly don’t think you need to improve at all. You’ve been really patient, and I don’t believe your concerns are irrational. This person isn’t showing you much consideration, especially when compared to how they treat their friends. Turning things around on you, especially when it comes to how you feel, is really invalidating and inconsiderate. I’d suggest sitting down and maybe writing out both the negative and positive aspects of the situation. It feels like this might not be as much about OCD, but more about being in love with someone who doesn’t care as much as they should. You’re not crazy for feeling obsessive when you’re not being heard or remembered.

Anonymous

Date posted: 35w

I was in the same situation as you. I saw problems in our relationship, brought them up, and he always made it my fault. I think someone who loves you would care a lot more about your feelings and would adjust their behavior to make you feel better. I don’t think youre having an OCD moment, I think you’re sadly realizing that he isn’t even trying to meet your needs

daltonb.971

Date posted: 35w

I think you're doing the right thing seeking help and looking to improve on your end. However, it does not seem like he's giving you the same effort and consideration. Quite simply, from your side of the story, it doesn't seem like he respects you. He may see you smothering, overbearing, or clingy while on your end you just care about him. I think there's a lack of communication about boundaries between the two of you and what you both want and are comfortable with in the relationship. My advice would be to sit down and have an honest conversation with him. If he continues to blow you off and not respect you, it may be time to move on. Without a willingness to communicate and relationship has no proper foundation to grow from and you'll just keep going in circles and watching the same old problems grow and fester.

Gmoki

Date posted: 22w

Relationship

I feel so bad I overthink abt everything my bf says and does. I think that if he doesn’t say x y z when I want reassurance then he must’ve stopped caring or is tired of me. I know it’s not the truth and he gives me NO reason to think this way. This is my first healthy relationship and I want to be in each others lives forever. I love him so much and I’m trying my hardest to manage these thoughts but I’m so anxious. It’s so draining I feel helpless and like I can’t go a day without checking his social medias. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother but idk where to start or how to manage this feeling.

mri12

Date posted: 18w

how can I fix this thought?

For some reason, my brain gets upset when my boyfriend hangs out with other people. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but sometimes I can’t help it. I understand that he has a life outside of our relationship, and that’s great. He reassures me all the time, in fact, he often tells me he would rather spend time with me than with his friends. He’s a perfect partner, and I love him more than anything. However, I don’t want this to become an issue in our relationship. I know why my mind thinks this way, even though I don’t believe it to be true. My brain keeps telling me that he would rather be somewhere else than with me. Those words repeat in my head every time he’s out with friends, and I don’t know why. I want to find a solution to this obsessive and jealous thought so that I don’t ruin his time with friends. I really need help with this issue.❤️

anonymousgal12

Date posted: 9w

boyfriend is lagging

okay so i know that my boyfriend gets busy and i am usually checking my phone ALL THE TIME. like i am just that kind of person. but sometimes my boyfriend doesn’t reply to me for a bit and it makes me sad. he lags a lot, and it makes me mad when he doesn’t reply for a long time. we text and stuff but he doesn’t text me as much as he used to. and it stresses me out and i worry that it’s a red flag, or if it’s my OCD telling me to worry about it. i am the kind of person to say “actions speak louder than words “ and ive said that to him multiple times and he says he’s gonna work on things. it’s not like he doesn’t text me AT ALL, he texts me good morning everyday it’s just the lagging that makes me upset. so, is it my OCD telling me to worry about it or is it actually a concern?

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Obsession with my bf being friends with others

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