Does anyone feels the same?

@issphra 🫶🏻 That is what I don’t know because I’m always so anxious when I explain my thoughts and I don’t know if I said everything or if I spoke to fast , honestly I don’t know if she understands or not :(

@issphra 🫶🏻 Can i ask for advice .. you seem to have great explanation…Pls help me…This is long but i need urgent help..So my partner and i were on the verge of breaking up today and this is because i lied to him about something of the past where in the early days of our relationship i came back home and played a drinking game with a few of my friends where i made it clear i have a bf but also answered a sexual question with some guys name from that group not thinking too much cause i found him cute in the past but never did want anything to do about it and then i didnt mention this to my bf till today and he felt one extremely mad and that i cheated on him in a way and lied and was guilty and all i could think was yes i did find him cute and wanted his validation in the past and maybe even when i took his name for that question and never told my bf cause i was scared and it was true and that doesnt seen ocd its an actual action that caused this which means one not anxious intrusive thought and second actual feeling and action if validation and then i told my bf it was a mistake and all that but then that again means its not true and i was scared to tell him yes i liked that validation and he would leave me and he told me this that he would so because i was scared to be alone i said no pls dont and said i will change just to say and that j dont care enough just dont want to he alone and still liked that validation so this is not rocd right? I am in denial and not accepting that i am not okay and a bad person and scared to accept to self and bf cause then will breakup but if feel so and does so it already means so just delaying and will worsen? And also once before wr started dating but were together went out partying with my friends and this guy was there just cause he liked me and i made it clear i am with someone seriously and he didn’t try anything as such but still fed me a french fry and i ate it and my bf had a huge problem with it and i dont remember but i also might have fed him a french fry but i told the first half latter i dont remember and with the first one also i lied and here too and if so said my bf will not be with me and it doesnt matter to me enough but i still was okay with that validation and gave him an energy so that he could feed me a fry and maybe i did too and still lying about it cause my energy felt open to others and means it was and this is me getting people to condone this action by saying its ocd where its not and i am guilty and lying and cause otherwise why would i want his attention in the first place to begin with and eat a fry and later be okay with the idea to go for a party where he might be and just tell my bf nothing will happen to tell him cause then he will get scared but actually okay with that validation and actually is so and not a lie but actual actions so might even escalate and cheat in the future and do and say things to calm my bf dowb but otherwise actually want attention from other men and so not scared so cant be ocd actually doing so and asking to be told okay when know its not and making it ocd cause scared to accept its denial and its not and just cant accept i cant be with one person and like validation so much might cheat and these are not anxious thoughts but actually my actions so cant be ocd and is not right? Pls pls help me!!! And pls tell me the truth. I dont wanna accept this so making it ocd

@Brave through Hi girly, Feeling attraction or appreciating validation from others is part of being human—it doesn’t mean disloyalty or a lack of love for your partner. Honestly, I’ve had little ‘crushes’ or moments of attraction during my relationship, and I felt so guilty about it that I confessed to my boyfriend. At first, he was a bit off-put because, let’s be honest, it sounds bad, but after we talked, he helped me understand that it’s just human nature. Everyone craves a little attention or validation—it’s not the same as betraying someone. This is where I think ROCD could be coming into play. You can get intrusive thoughts where you start to feel like it’s more than just a crush or a sort of attraction. The ones that distress you and make you feel like a really bad person. They can feel like proof you’re a bad person or that you’ve done something terrible. It’s exhausting because the guilt feels so real, even when the actions don’t justify that level of distress. About the fry incident: I get why your boyfriend was upset—it’s easy to feel territorial or jealous in relationships. Honestly, if my boyfriend got fed a fry by another girl, I’d probably feel a little weird about it, too. But when I step back and think rationally, I know it’s not actually disloyal. Context matters. If it were a guy feeding him a fry, I probably wouldn’t care. I’d just ask him to be mindful of boundaries in the future and leave it at that. It’s not a breakup-worthy offense unless someone is actively trying to cross a line repeatedly. The drinking game incident is a bit trickier because it involves both attraction and omission of the situation until later. I get why your boyfriend might feel hurt or jealous, but I also think it’s important to recognize that everyone’s relationship boundaries are different. Some people are okay with their partners having opposite-sex friendships or making harmless comments; others, like your boyfriend, seem to be more sensitive about it. That said, his reaction seems to feed into your overthinking. He’s reinforcing this idea that small, unintentional actions—like eating a fry or answering a question in a game—carry the same weight as deliberate betrayal. Here’s what I want you to remember: • People can find others attractive without acting on it, and that’s normal. • Small, unintentional actions don’t equate to cheating or disloyalty. • Your intentions in these situations don’t seem to have been harmful or meant to betray your relationship. It’s okay for your boyfriend to express his feelings, but he needs to do so in a way that doesn’t frame these moments as moral failings. That way, you can share your fears and insecurities without the weight of heavy judgment. Honestly, I think the root issue here is a mix of unclear boundaries in your relationship, ROCD amplifying your guilt, and your boyfriend feeding into those OCD tendencies by making you feel like you’ve cheated for having completely normal human feelings. If your actions (like the drinking game or eating the fry) wouldn’t bother you if your boyfriend did them, it might be worth sitting down with him to talk about what boundaries feel reasonable and fair to you both. If his perspective is stricter than yours, that’s something you’ll need to navigate together through open communication. For example, my boyfriend, Axel, can get really jealous sometimes, and I’ve had to find ways to help him manage it. When he’s being extra irrational, I’ll say something like, “Okay, I need rational Axel to come out because jealous Axel is in overdrive.” He usually laughs, and while he’s still jealous, he’s calmer and more aware of his emotions. Maybe you could try a similar approach to help shift the tone of these conversations with your boyfriend. At the end of the day, relationships are about trust and communication. If you both value the relationship, these situations should lead to deeper understanding, not just fear or blame. You’re not a bad person for being human, and you deserve a partner who can help you work through these things with empathy and understanding.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Hey, thankyou so so much for this you dont know how much i appreciate it and i am so sorry for replying late.. missed my notifications somehow .. i had a few other things to ask that have been playing on my head.. so my ex or this intense situationship of mine may have gotten with this one girl he used to tell me is his friend but she liked him when we were together and it irritated me a little but cause we were never together together i didn’t say much and this guy made me cry alot and never committed and went in and out of my life too much and finally i met my current bf and he came back again and i said a simple no to him and unfollowed and all as well but today somehow i through some account got to know maybe he went out on a date with this girl and i stopped caring about him long time back but today it irritated me and i was irritated at everything after and i felt guilty cause my thoughts were like you still care about him and did i miss out on something? Should i have accepted him ? Or waited longer and if i care why do i care and that means what and why do i feel like i missed out on something when i have such a great bf and that means what and i said more i love you’s to my bf as a guilty conscience and reassure myself and him that i still love him but if my ex being with someone else is bothering me after so long and one why is it and if it is it means something and like thoughts like missed out on something or should have said yes say about this and my feeling towards him and him being with someone else is irritating me and why so i am with someone else and that irritating me means i still have feelings or care or miss or think about him and feel jealous and all and if i do feel like this which i think i do and not just an intrusive thought actual irritating feeling with backed up actions cause i stalked the girl means i am lying to my bf and this is not ocd but lie? Pls help me i hope you read this i could use some advice idk how to feel and this is not ocd right ? What am I doing?