when I think about other girls I get this like weird feeling, i think it’s anxiety. I always question wether i feel anxious because i have Hocd OR its because i’m actually attracted to them and i’m just scared about being gay or coming out. Everything is just so confusing i don’t know why I can’t just put my finger on the answer :( I’ve always felt different in regards to sexuality, i’ve considered that i’m asexual. But never ever gay. idk what to do anymore :(

I don’t even think about the thoughts that much anymore, I mean I think about them but idk how to explain it but I think I’m in the backdoor spike. I’m not anxious anymore I’m just scared that my hocd is true. I’m scared I’m actually gay, I don’t analyze girls around me as much as before. I still get what if I’m attracted to her in my head sometimes but not as much. I know I’m not that way, I’ve never felt that way. I’ve never liked a girl so whyyyy?? Why am I so worried? It doesn’t make since, I still test to see if I’m gay, I do a lot of stuff online which I know I need to stop. Because it’s definitely reassurance. I’m so confused. Any advice?? Please

Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.

Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...