when I think about other girls I get this like weird feeling, i think it’s anxiety. I always question wether i feel anxious because i have Hocd OR its because i’m actually attracted to them and i’m just scared about being gay or coming out. Everything is just so confusing i don’t know why I can’t just put my finger on the answer :( I’ve always felt different in regards to sexuality, i’ve considered that i’m asexual. But never ever gay. idk what to do anymore :(

REMEMBER UNCERTAINTY IS THE KEY(

Maria you said that you felt as asexual. But know you are feeling as if you were gay? Have you ever felt sexually attracted to anyone before ocd? If you were truly asexual and things changes to be homosexual what would it mean to you? That’s the key part about ocd, The what if? Can you accept that? And the anxiety? And the uncertainty? Hopefully you find help and start taking your life back.

Because I’m not sure if how I feel towards others is sexual attraction or just general attraction. When people describe sexual attraction im not sure i’ve ever felt like that, when people say “you just want to rip off their clothes”, I don’t think I’ve ever had that. I’ve had sex with men many times, sometimes it’s been good and sometimes it hasn’t. But I must add to this, sometimes when I end up having sex with these men, it’s not because I am necessarily Sexually attracted to them (I think?) it’s just because we get on and I find them physically attractive to look at. It’s hard to explain! I’ve always thought I was asexual, I never understood why people would have sex, now I understand but I just don’t feel the same. I only enjoy it when I’m in love with a person. I think. It’s confusing ?

The actual act of sex is pleasing, but its almost as if I have sex with these men just because I know they’re attractive, not because I myself am very attracted to them. Does that make sense ?

Yeah it doesn’t sound asexual to me, but who knows it’s your own experience and how you relate to them, I can’t even try to figure out that for you. But ocd is a little different than sexual attraction and experiences, and ocd can make them feel very real. And there is when you can make a difference to how you relate to them, either you start avoiding them or facing it head that you don’t really know if you are gay or not. Is tough shit but not impossible hope you find the help you need