- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
And @kaysf I know the feeling. I have been there and in bad days I am still there sometimes. It’s what hocd does it’s overreact make you think everything 24/7 it will trick you and some cases that will make you have groinal responses(I have had them and it was my biggest problem) but when you have these thoughts don’t tryna push them away by force because it’s make it come back stronger. It’s not easy but you just have to sit with these thoughts and this anxiety. I have to do it every single day. Sometimes longer sometimes not so long. But what we have to believe it’s that we can get over this
- Date posted
- 5y
It doesn’t sound like you are actually bi, but my question is, why does it matter? I like to just be attracted to whatever I feel like and not put a label on it.
- Date posted
- 5y
@ElliotC with hocd the sufferer wishes that it didn't matter to them, trust me. Having the disease doesn't mean they have a negative outlook on the whole idea of being bi, but rather they are uncontrollably doubting their own sexual identity. It's the nature of the disease to doubt, and doubt is an underlying factor in many subcategories of the disorder. You should definitely read about them!
- Date posted
- 5y
When the thought appears try to stop. Do another thing, sing, find a hobbie, whatever. Ocd is about doubting every little aspect of your life. So when you dont give a chance to doubt more and more the same irrational thought, you start to feel free again. This is not about sexuality or about stupid morals. Obsessing is living in a fucking cage.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know it’s hard to stop but the more you say don’t think about the problem the more it chases you
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop Is not about not saying no. You have to identify when the obsession appears and try to stop answering them. Is not about saying "No, Im not this". But: "Okay. I have this thought. Thoughts doesn't have to be me. And now Im going to do another thing and live my life cause I deserve this." Try to find a good therapist that understand you is the better answer too :3
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah just a really quick remember hocd is NOT about being homophobic. It’s about having intrusive lesbian/gay thoughts what you don’t want to have and that’s it. I know being gay, bi, lesbian or whatever you are is NOT wrong but some people do just not want to be these.And no it’s not a choice what sexual orientation you are but yeah
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t want to be gay
- Date posted
- 5y
Why? Being gay isn’t bad.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m not homophobic, if your gay and your happy that what your life should be. Happiness. It’s just that I’ve lived a heterosexual life then hocd hit me, I just don’t feel comfortable dating a girl, I’ve always wanted to be with boys and date them.
- Date posted
- 5y
It's more about identity changing, less about being gay itself.
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 ? Me?
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop No I was talking to ElliotC
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 And also when I thought I was gay, I thought the problem would be easier to talk about cause I could talk to the lgbt community, but no I feel like some gay people will say your gay cause they want you to be gay with the whole story. I have hocd and don’t want to be gay
- Date posted
- 5y
Elliot hit on point, don’t let your ocd tell you that is wrong to be gay, is a wonderful thing to be gay, bi, trans, asexual, queer, pan. Being LGBT means you are unique and authentic, even if some people will look at you sideways and leave you are you no matter what. But I get it, I suffer with this type of obsession and is not easy to let it be, that’s why if you ever go through erp it takes practice and lots of work (and many days with huge anxieties and feelings). Now that I see this type of comments all around the app I laugh because i used to be the same way until I realize that they are compulsions (and that takes work and acceptance to see that). Btw I still get anxious when I see an attractive man and so what, i don’t know if that makes me sexually attracted to them or not and that’s ok. I might be gay or bi, it might be hard to be that but that’s ok and live with that.
- Date posted
- 5y
Wouldn’t you know your gay from a young age, and no I’m not homophobic, I have hocd
- Date posted
- 5y
The reality of it, is that some people realize they have same sex attractions when they are kids, or when they are in middle school, when they are in high school, in college, some people just might be a attracted to one person of the same sex and heterosexual if otherwise, some people are fluid (one day they gay and next week they bi or pan), there are people married with kids and on their 40s realize they are gay or bi or pan. Point is that sexuality is not a fixed point in life. You fall more or less in the whole spectrum of it that we go through in life, and there is nothing absolutely nothing wrong with it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Can I ask if your gay , cause why else would you say that?
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop I might be gay ?♂️ I don’t know. To be honest I really don’t know anymore and I’m okey with it and try to live my life according to my values with my wife and daughter . Sexuality isn’t a fixed thing, sorry if I’m triggering you, but is the truth of about sexual orientation. This is tough shit but I rather be possibly be gay than live my life according to ocd rules. Again there is nothing wrong absolutely nothing wrong being LGBT. and I get it is tough and cruel and to a point meaningless suffering that we go through, and being compassionate to yourself while going through this mental illness is the best we can hold on to. But I tell you something, there is nothing else is not more scared of being of being gay than your ocd. Try to find help from professional, if you can’t try to amount knowledge and experience about ocd treatment.
- Date posted
- 5y
Please don’t do what Brooklyn33 is saying is an avoidance strategy and I’m sorry if I seem rude, but I’ve been there and over and over saw that scaping the thought just makes things.now if you are talking about intentional and dynamic distraction while allowing the thought be is a great strategy, because you can uncertain and anxious while doing values things like being in the company of loved, working or studying, being mindful to what you are doing is an awesome way to live with the uncertainty. Please do let the thought be (and even go back to it if you are doing therapy as an exposure). Is not easy and it takes practice.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah avoiding was what I use to do and it make it worse, appear the thought and move on
- Date posted
- 5y
Brooklyn isn’t saying to avoid it, she is basically saying to let the thought be there and keep on doing what you’re doing, to not obsess over it basically. From experience, there’s been times where I am actually happy, I was baking a cake and suddenly a thought came up and I just didn’t want to bake the cake anymore. But I still did it, it distracted me and I was okay again. Don’t avoid the thoughts, let them be there. And I’m sure that’s what she was saying. @urzo, I don’t think you are helping to much. If you say you’ve been where we have with these issues. You should realize that what you are saying is triggering and isn’t very helpful to us. You filling us with fear and more doubt. It’s not that we fear being gay, it’s what we are doubting what we believe. That’s what ocd is.
- Date posted
- 5y
@advice? Is he gay? Cause he’s making hocd suffer more stressful, we are not homophobic
- Date posted
- 5y
@advice? God Im not english person and I can't translate everything I want to say xd I just try to help... sorry if someone misunderstand me because of that, but that is what I was trying to say... Thank you Advice? to put it in better words ♡♡♡
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop I’m not sure, but we shouldn’t assume he’s gay. But yes I understand he’s making you & us a bit confused and triggered.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Brooklyn33 You are helping! Don’t worry, we are all in this together and here to help out eachother!
- Date posted
- 5y
@advice? ♡♡♡♡♡♡
- Date posted
- 5y
@advice? Exactly. If hocd sufferers really could choose to be gay so that way we feel free of the way our life is getting us so anxious we actually choose to be gay or bi or whatever instead of feeling so desperate... But we can't. We can't choose what we want to be. We feel lost. Is like your brain is telling you to be another person. To do other behaviours. To not live freely. And our identity starts to feel blurry. This is so heartbreaking. Lgbt people really can understand who we feel because of that. There are even lbgt sufferers that has the same thoughts but with being straight or bi or just feel fake :(
- Date posted
- 5y
@advice? Yeah I get it advice, and I guess I could be triggering and somewhat irreverent about this ocd issues, and I apologize for making you guys triggered. And I get that it takes time to realize that you don’t really know if is true or not. I get the cognitive dissonance we get with the uncertainty, but guess what makes us more tolerant to the uncertainty, having the uncertainty, while living a values life and being extremely compassionate and accepting of yourself. Sorry guys, I will be more cautious from now on, I know everyone is at different path to their recovery
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop I get where you coming from, and sometimes I have to be more careful about how I come to you and other people about this issues, specially if it just hit you it could be overbearing. And I’m sorry for that, but I want to hype you up that the path to recovery requires courage and perseverance, learning new things and leaving old not helpful beliefs in the past. Hope you find the help you need
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Can you please talk to me I need help too
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop Of course we are here to support each other, have you looked for help? Like therapy? Talk to your parents? Or a school counselor?
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro I have a wellness center at school My health teacher Maybe my doctors office, and last year I did a survey asking if I was depressed or not, I was I was dealing with hocd but I lied and said I’m fine I’m not and still now fine, I want things to change
- Date posted
- 5y
Makes things what?? I have been there too and Im being treated too. And I said the same thing as you but with less words?? Distractions are really good to learn to choose in what to concentrate instead your obsession. Be as rude as you want to, you are just saying it yourself.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry Brooklyn, I probably misunderstood you there, I mean no disrespect but to be as helpful as I can be. Given how chronic this could be anything can become a compulsion and I’m just trying to point that out.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for answering ♡ I know your intention was good ♡
- Date posted
- 5y
@Brooklyn33 You welcome, ??
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Sorry uzro, I was off at you and asking if you were gay. I know you were trying to help but I took it the wrong way
- Date posted
- 5y
If you don't mind me asking, how did you tell your wife about your hocd?
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 My wife is still on the fence about it and really doesn’t want to know or be involved about it. At the beginning she was freaked out and almost dump me, but she kinda accepted and understood that it is a mental illness. We are still shaky tho.
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro I hope you have a happy life I’ve never dated anyone before so idk about relationship, I suggest you get help
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 To me it was a big deal and still is, but I had to face my fears about it everyday and at every opportunity I had. And even know I try to trigger those fears about losing my family because I might be gay voluntarily, because you need to fight back, even when you feel at peace or ocd is giving you a “break” to be more exposed to it.
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Please get help
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop I’m going through therapy rn and it has been tough and it stil is, but I’m progressing.
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop I said those things before because we have to take a radical approach to beat it, erp is tough and weird, but it works.
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro I can’t do anything I’m still young and in school, idk how to get insurance
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop Is there a counselor in your school that you can talk to? Or have you related this issues to your parents?
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Voluntarily gay? I'm not sure of forcing yourself into a sex act that you don't want is a good idea. It seems like a form of checking. If you want to do it, by all means go ahead. Forcing yourself to do something seems like it could be potentially mentally damaging.
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro My mom told me to forget about it but she doesn’t know it’s a mental illness and if i tell her it’s a mental illness she wouldn’t believe it, I don’t live with my dad. My options are -Wellness center at school -My health teacher -My doctors( but I’m don’t sure if they have some one to help me in ocd) I don’t think I’ll ever get the help I need, cause my mom isn’t that rich and we can’t afford for ocd therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 Jaja i had the same thoughts when i started to do therapy, sorry for the misunderstanding. there is no absolutely no sex actions when you do therapy, if you were ever to do that it will be a compulsion I’m not sure if I making myself understandable . Erp is weird stuff and I get the misunderstanding. But is more like getting exposed to the stuff that triggers the most anxiety and obsessions (remember ocd is a primarily a thought disorder) in a gradually manner, E for exposure and cut all the mental processes to mitigate the anxiety and uncertainty it brings response prevention. That’s was funny Jajajja a little triggering too ???. But I get you.
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop That’s good choices you have there to start off, before anything try to ask if they know what ocd is and if they know somebody that could help. Also try to find any local ocd support group nearby you, they might also help get the help you need. The ocd international foundation website also can be a good source, try to reach to them
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Omg I’ll never thought of that you’ve help me a lot thankkkkks
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro I'm sorry. I guess I misunderstood you.
- Date posted
- 5y
@GummyDrop You welcome
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 It’s cool, I get it.trust me Ive had some many thoughts about situations that don’t even make sense together. My brain is super creative on that
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Yeah I thought I was the only one with a dumb brain
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 16w
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond