- Date posted
- 31w
Is this a common obsession?
I’ve dealt with SOOCD for a while, but does anyone else who is straight, have their obsessions go from being gay to being bisexual or bi-curious? How do you deal with this?
I’ve dealt with SOOCD for a while, but does anyone else who is straight, have their obsessions go from being gay to being bisexual or bi-curious? How do you deal with this?
try to figure out what your core fear is and sit with it. Didnt really work for me because in the end I felt like it was because of society which brought me back to denial etc etc but apparently it works for some people.
@Anonymousesti Appreciate the idea, and the same thing happened to myself. Again, never had any sexual attraction to the other sex, and I definitely understand the society aspect of the worry. My Psych who’s been specializing in OCD for the longest time and I just don’t know what is the reason I have this theme.
@SilentlyBattling - when did yours start? and how long have you been suffering?
@Anonymousesti About 19 years ago. I went about 9 years not dealing with it at all, with my OCD bouncing between themes but when this came up I easily just dismissed it as “Ah, that’s just HOCD” because I had been sexual with women and enjoyed those relationships (never wanted anything to do with men sexually). Then things came to a head about 6-7 years ago with not dealing with anxiety and stress in a healthy manner, Harm OCD came up, then I did an out patient program and the HOCD reared back up, and been working with a psychologist who specializes in OCD since. Again, it’s ebbs and flows. I think right now it’s a medication issue as well.
Dealing with this right now! Trying to treat it the exact same way as the fear of being lesbian and accepting the uncertainty. (As a straight woman)
I don’t have the same experience, but I am bisexual and experienced SOOCD where I obsess about what if I’m actually straight (despite my nearly 2 decades of evidence to the contrary). So this is me saying even though it’s not the same experience, OCD particularly SOOCD can come in many flavors and you’re not alone in the confusion and frustration.
@Megan Ruth Oh I also wanna empathize by adding that I imagine it must be especially hard for your experience because we live in a world now where socially people are really encouraged to “explore their sexuality”, I think. Sorry you’re dealing with this 🩶
I’ll also say it’s a lot more difficult for me since it’s more “realistic” I guess?
@LV4523 I appreciate the insight. I don’t have any same sex attraction. I know when a man (I’m male) is attractive, but I don’t feel or want to have sex with them. My psychologist has explained to me that this is just the same game as being gay, now my OCD is just morphing to bisexual.
@SilentlyBattling I’m in the same boat but I’m a woman! And yes it’s the same thing essentially, fearing to be something we are not. OCD will continue to morph to keep us in the loop and stuck!!
@LV4523 Well, at least that’s two of us.
@SilentlyBattling Does yours feel extremely real on bad days too? Sometimes it feels like I just “need to try it” or wont know until I try it. It’s awful.
@LV4523 On bad days, yes it feels real. That said I’ve been battling HOCD for the last 6 years. It comes and goes. I’ve had weeks/months with little issues and the thoughts are nothing more than just a fleeting thought that I let pass. More or less, it’s very episodic. I’ve never actually wanted to try a gay relationship. It has never sounded arousing or exciting to me (besides when I get intrusive thoughts when deep in anxiety).
@SilentlyBattling And when in those anxious/panicky moments, it still doesn’t sound arousing or exciting, it just bounces around my head.
So my ocd theme changed to sexual orientation ocd last December after I heard a popular video "hi, I'm Gibby" and I went like the Gibby sounds like "gay", then I started saying the phrase and over days, I started getting intrusive thoughts "I'm gay" .(I have had other ocd themes: (magical thinking ocd, symmetry ocd, health concern ocd, religious and spirituality ocd and harm ocd ever since I was 12, they just come and go)....I struggle with other conditions(ASD and bipolar disorder). I have never struggled with sexuality or questioned it because I have only liked males right from when I was in grade 1🥲...I still like them. SO-OCD is very frustrating because deep down I know I'm straight and there's no evidence I'm not but the intrusive thoughts and compulsions to get relief (the cycle) won't stop. I'm on fluoxetine(Prozac) and it did help my symptoms but lately I realised I'm more consumed with compulsions and idk but I think it's reducing the effects of the drugs?.. I see an attractive female and my mind goes like you found her attractive you must be gay or I want to go out and do sumn"what if you discover you like them or are gay" ...idk it's frustrating, very and I'm tired. I don't even get turned on by same sex or any😭that what even makes it more confusing.+ It's almost like I'm now hypervigilant when Watching videos or Instagram reels...it making me forget that finding someone physically attractive≠sexual attraction...idk if anyone gets me...(Rn my ocd themes are SO-OCD and religious and spirituality ocd) SO-OCD is frustrating, I'm tireddd...how can I never have struggled with sexuality for almost a decade and half but I'm having it now(it's started two months ago)...who has had/have this theme??
So I’ve SOOCD since I was in 8 th grade and it got really bad when I had an intrusive thought as to what if I was bi. And ever since then I’ve had self destructive behavior to where I would think the thoughts on purpose or about women and checking them out and flirting with them. ( I identify as straight) and over time these thoughts and self destructive behavior hasn’t bothered me and now they feel apart of me I know apart of it is ocd but also it’s me like me willingly looking at women and me wanting to have sexual thoughts or feel aroused and in reality if I never had ocd I would never think this way I could live without women and never sleeping with them I do have a bf and I love him and am attracted to him rn thought bc of what happened last night with a women it’s hard to feel that can anyone relate?
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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