Is this a common obsession?

@Anonymousesti Appreciate the idea, and the same thing happened to myself. Again, never had any sexual attraction to the other sex, and I definitely understand the society aspect of the worry. My Psych who’s been specializing in OCD for the longest time and I just don’t know what is the reason I have this theme.

@SilentlyBattling - when did yours start? and how long have you been suffering?

@Anonymousesti About 19 years ago. I went about 9 years not dealing with it at all, with my OCD bouncing between themes but when this came up I easily just dismissed it as “Ah, that’s just HOCD” because I had been sexual with women and enjoyed those relationships (never wanted anything to do with men sexually). Then things came to a head about 6-7 years ago with not dealing with anxiety and stress in a healthy manner, Harm OCD came up, then I did an out patient program and the HOCD reared back up, and been working with a psychologist who specializes in OCD since. Again, it’s ebbs and flows. I think right now it’s a medication issue as well.

@Megan Ruth Oh I also wanna empathize by adding that I imagine it must be especially hard for your experience because we live in a world now where socially people are really encouraged to “explore their sexuality”, I think. Sorry you’re dealing with this 🩶

@LV4523 I appreciate the insight. I don’t have any same sex attraction. I know when a man (I’m male) is attractive, but I don’t feel or want to have sex with them. My psychologist has explained to me that this is just the same game as being gay, now my OCD is just morphing to bisexual.

@SilentlyBattling I’m in the same boat but I’m a woman! And yes it’s the same thing essentially, fearing to be something we are not. OCD will continue to morph to keep us in the loop and stuck!!

@LV4523 Well, at least that’s two of us.

@SilentlyBattling Does yours feel extremely real on bad days too? Sometimes it feels like I just “need to try it” or wont know until I try it. It’s awful.

@LV4523 On bad days, yes it feels real. That said I’ve been battling HOCD for the last 6 years. It comes and goes. I’ve had weeks/months with little issues and the thoughts are nothing more than just a fleeting thought that I let pass. More or less, it’s very episodic. I’ve never actually wanted to try a gay relationship. It has never sounded arousing or exciting to me (besides when I get intrusive thoughts when deep in anxiety).

@SilentlyBattling And when in those anxious/panicky moments, it still doesn’t sound arousing or exciting, it just bounces around my head.