any younger people on here with hocd who get nervous about it bc people say you’re too young to know your sexuality rn?

So do gay people find out their gay at a young age?

@GummyDrop Every single one I’ve ever seen has said that they knew from a very early age.

yea. i just get freaked out bc people on here say sexuality can change over time which doesn’t make sense to me because when i used to read online about hocd as a compulsion, it said that being any sort of gay, is actually a gene you have so it doesn’t make sense to me that it can change overtime. but still, it triggers me bc people say that and they say you’re too young to know. but then i look at other people my age without hocd and they’re sure of their sexuality even when people say they’re too young they’re just like “yea i guess but ik i’m straight” or gay or whatever it be. and what i’ve noticed is that when young kids come out as gay, people have no doubt and they never really say you’re too young to know your sexuality, but when kids are straight is when they tell them they’re too young to know.

@kaysf It can change, but not in the way you think. It’s not like you’re going to wake up one night and suddenly like girls. It can happen to some but not everybody. Sexuality isn’t always black and white, it’s a spectrum. I deal with it too and once you accept that, it gets a little easier.

@Esosa The key is sexuality is yours and yours only to define.

@kaysf Yeah before I’d looked more into hocd, it seem like I’d have some gay moments that seem real, I’ve kept looking at the girl at class to see if Ive was gay but that didn’t help, cause everytime I see her I get a lot of anxiety, and I’ve heard that if you get nervous about a person you like them, back then I thought I was bi. But it felt weird and I didn’t like calling myself bi since I lived a heterosexual live and was attracted to boys. Right now I still have hocd, but looking back at the times before I knew it’s was called hocd, I’m scared i was bi and didn’t know. I don’t know what to do

@Esosa what do you mean it can happen to some but not everybody?

@Esosa but yea i don’t really think i’m bi tbh. like i don’t want to be in a relationship with another girl and i don’t want to do anything sexual with a girl. but then my hocd is like hm maybe you haven’t met the right one or maybe you just don’t know yet

@kaysf I just say that because I heard some stories about it, that’s all. But DON’T let that trigger you.

@Esosa ohh okay

@kaysf Yeah I have thoughts like, maybe there someone who really pretty, then you’ll be a lesbian. And I thought no one is ? straight

@GummyDrop Some people are 100% straight, Some people are 100% gay, but many fall in between (which doesn’t always make you bi if you know what I mean)

@Esosa Shit idk I don’t want to be gay but hocd makes me gay

@GummyDrop Fighting it off will only make it worse (as well as “accepting” it by repeating that you are). Instead, ask yourself this: will you be a different person if you were to be gay? Will your life be completely ruined? Will you be a bad person? Overcoming this obsession means accepting the possibility. There’s no other way around it. And if you can’t bring yourself to it, every time your brain goes “am I gay?” Challenge it with “Is it THAT important?” (It’s very difficult). Your OCD wants you to do this, remember that. And again, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi or any other identity.

@Esosa Idk I’m still young and confused af

@GummyDrop Hey, so am I.

@Esosa I’m not in the best place right now, but it took a lot of work and hard pills to swallow in order to get to half of where I’m supposed to be

@Esosa I prefer erp not medical treatment in my opinion

@GummyDrop “Hard pills to swallow” is an expression. It means that I had to accept some things that were difficult to accept.

@Esosa How does it change, the Fuck?

@GummyDrop It “changes” by people realizing later in life, not by being one thing and waking up the next day as the other. The problem is that OCD looks at the stories of people realizing and latches onto that. I didn’t mean to offend you.

@Esosa ????? I have hocd and I’m scared I’m gay, cause I’ve had some gay moments that seemed real, and I try to remember what happened in those moments to see if I remembered if I liked it or nah

@GummyDrop As someone who is still experiencing HOCD, my best advice would be to just treat those moments as one that has no answer. I’ve been there before with the so-called “gay” moments, but because your brain is catastrophosizing (making it seem scary or feel “real”) those moments, you can never get a clear answer with the obsessions and rituals that are performed to get an answer. So instead of trying to remember exactly what happened, you have to try to get comfortable with the idea that it MAY be true (I know you don’t want it to be, but it’s the only way out). And also with the change thing, since it seems like you’re still hung up on that, yes, it’s possible for people to figure out who they’re attracted to overtime. BUT, the experience is not universal, which means that it’s not the case for everyone who either questions or do not question their sexuality. Again, because your brain is hung up on the fact that it “might” be you, that’s the reason why you continue on the cycle of anxiety. The problem isn’t whether you’re gay or not, but your black and white thinking. I’m on this road with you too, so don’t think that I’m against you or anything.

@Esosa I’m talking to a psychiatrist and I’m still young I’m 15. Dealing with this for 2 years

@GummyDrop That’s good. I’m 19 and I’ve been dealing with this particular theme for 5 ish years. I also deal with other themes as well.