Don't panic, you're still the same girl, your OC gives you a lot of intrusive thoughts that aren't you and that disgust you and scare you and that you don't want and that you don't think are true, and your OC gives you the false feelings.Also, don't forget that whatever comes to mind, whatever intrusive thoughts you have and whatever you feel, is all yours.
Oc?
Ocdđ
@Lit555 I'm actually not sure if I have pocd because I don't really doubt if I'm attracted to children that much but it's focused on guilt about my past mistakes..
@I'm confused I know it seems like it's your feeling but believe me it's not all yours the intrusive thoughts and feelings remember that before you didn't feel this way at all and the intrusive thoughts didn't affect you and They weren't there now that they are constantly 0 24 you concentrate on it and so the bigger the ocd and so it gives you false feelings which are actually just anxiety
@Lit555 It can also be so strong because you live in your head, like me, I don't have a social life anymore and I live in my head, and that problem only strengthens your OCD Plus the depression and the fact that you only think about these thoughts all the time, the more intrusive thoughts come and the worse and worse they get and then the false feelings come which are really just Anxiety and that's why it feels like you've lost yourself or your mind, but it's all actually a symptom of OCD.
@I'm confused That's why it's so strong and that's why it's so real and that's why it feels like it's true because you live in your head, not in reality, so that's how it is for me.
@Lit555 I just regret my past so much I don't know if I'm still a p*do for this..
I took this is a sign of encouragement
It's not the same girl, it's the same person.
That's why the disease is so difficult, you know, you don't feel this way, you don't want this, but the way the disease gives you these intrusive thoughts and feelings, you believe this way and it's like you're living in this and this You want it but you don't and it makes you believe that it's all just anxiety, your brain says you feel this, you feel that, you want it but it's all just anxiety and you don't want it but it always It makes you feel and at the same time gives you the intrusive thoughts and makes you believe.
I know that this is not what I want, this is not what I feel, this is not what I desire, and that I am the same as before, but in such a way that it constantly gives me intrusive thoughts and false feelings that I feel this way.That I want this, but life isn't that hard, you know what you want, what you desire, what you don't want, your OCD automatically and intentionally gives you the intrusive thoughts and false feelings that are in fact It's just anxiety, but your brain tells you about the feelings of anxiety that you feel this, you feel that, and yet you know it's a lie, it makes you feel it and makes you believe it. Therefore, people simply live in a way that the process convinces them that they are gay or a pedophile and constantly gives them The intrusive thoughts and the false feelings that you want this, you feel that, but in the meantime, not only the anxiety but the OCD brain, the person simply knows in vain that the OCD is not true.He automatically believes it even though he knows it's not true, he simply can't fight it, so people live in a way that makes them believe in their heads that people are pedophiles, gay, but in the meantime, they're not the same as before and they think the same way.Everything is the same as before and he feels the same as before and he would never do it now, this whole thing is wrong, but he still makes people believe it.
I don't know if I'm understanding well I do kind of want to worry but I hate my past but I want to stop stressing myself but I want to punish my dumb past self I'm worried if I'm p*do for any of those struggles in my head but I don't want to think about it anymore I don't know, I'm just genuinely worried
@I'm confused I know how you feel and I'm worried and scared it's like I've literally lost my mind and there's someone else's brain in my head that's not me I'm scared I'll never get my mind back
I found out about a month ago that I have ocd and that it's the reason for these intrusive thoughts and compulsions. I had no idea I was sick. It's pretty scary to me even now, but at least I know.I know that what has happened so far is intrusive thoughts and false memories in my head and my compulsive actions. I know that it's all because of this, but it's still not better, it's just scarier for me.
I just hope that when I have a social life again and I don't have to live in my head, I'll get my old life back and my old mind back, which is who I am.
I don't want to talk to my parents about this, they'll think I need hospital treatment.
When i see something, get reminded of something or talk to someone that triggers my train of thoughts, i feel a sudden racing spike in my heart, a knot in my stomach, kind of like that nervous butterfly feeling you get when youâre on a rollercoaster thats about to go downhill, or when you get jump-scared. My hands start to sweat and i just want to remove myself from the situation asap, wishing i felt the way i did about 2 minutes ago when i was doing just fine and wasnât overthinking for once. The OCD goes wild in my head, instant overanalysis, sending me down into a spiral, making me want to dig a hole and hide in there until i somehow manage to persuade myself im not a bad person before I can go about with my day with ease again.
So Iâm 15 and I first realized I had ocd when I was 13. It started with a bad dream I had that triggered intrusive thoughts. The theme of these thoughts were almost purely sexual. It started as Iocd, and that turned into compulsions of not letting family touch me at all and cleaning myself with alcohol and hydrogen peroxide to get rid of âfamily germsâ because in my mind that meant I was a bad person if I so much as even touched an object that they touched, I just started getting over it recently and Iâm feeling a lot better, but the other day another theme was triggered after I heard about this guy called âsmartschoolboyâ and he disgusts me so much. Heâs disgusting. After I heard about him it started triggering intrusive thoughts. I was sobbing over the pocd thoughts the other day, and my brain wonât stop trying to convince me that I am one. No matter what. Today it was âwhy arenât you crying about these intrusive thoughts like you were the other day, that must mean you think itâs okay to be oneâ and it just hurts so much to have these thoughts, I canât live in peace and I was literally fine just a week or two ago, how do I get rid of this, I just want to be happy again (sorry not to sound dramatic Iâm just really scared right now) I mean deep down I know Iâm not one every time I hear about one I feel disgusted, I hate even thinking about the fact that those type of people exist, but whenever I tell myself that my brain gets to convince me otherwise. My thoughts have always (mostly) been sexually themed but these are the most disturbing ones Iâve had and Iâm so scared right now, anything helps please đđ»
Lately, I have been able to manage my OCD thoughts kind of. Theyâre still there but I kind of push them away? I know that pushing them away doesnât help but itâs been my only way to survive. I get scared often about things like clothes or my voice or how I present myself. I get scared that I want to dress differently or act differently and it scares me. I know for a fact I donât want boobs or anything like that, but my mind constantly is like âWhat if?â and it kills me. It has ruined everything for me. Sometimes I canât even look in the mirror because I get scared that I wonât like what I see. Iâve also been afraid because I find myself relating to many female characters, or I want to act like them. Like Pearl from Steven Universe. I want to be graceful and elegant like her, but I donât want to be a girl you know? My mind constantly pushes these thoughts of what if and images. Because I am not like most guys. Which I know is okay. It just freaks me out. It makes me question every aspect of my being. I know who I am, but I know that the only way to move forward is to accept that maybe I donât.. Itâs just a lot.
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