urgent pls help!!

PET OCD Urgent. 😓Scared I violated my cat OK, my OCD is acting up because when me and my cat were cuddling, like I always do with petting my cats rear end or scratching or patting. when I hold them, one part of my hand holds their butt. (Not their actual you know what but the rear end area) But anyways, it was making me feel weird and I also tried to feel for my cats tail to see where I should end the petting because I was scared to pet further and touch his actual butt. (I was petting downward on its side and was feeling for where the tail started to see where I should stop because the fear of actually touching the cats actual butt scared me) But then to do an exposure for myself I just told myself Just keep petting his butt or shoot even put both hands there and cuddle with him, or just pet him all the way to the end of his tail, I even allowed myself to fully cuddle with him and snuggle with him. But the exposure is only making me feel worse, and making me feel that I acted on something bad. I was just trying to show myself and even said out loud “look nothing bad is happening” this is making me feel like I acted on an urge and hurt my pet. My cat is fine and likes to be pat on the butt or scratched, and also to get his tail played with. He likes being pet on his stomach as well but that is only sometimes. Typing all of this makes me feel so scared. Now I am having these obsessive compulsions with my cats, that I have to pet them near the rear end to prove to myself that doing that does not mean I hurt them, but it’s not making me feel better!!

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

Giving in to the compulsions to pet near your cat’s butt won’t make you feel better, because it’s feeding your OCD. OCD is never satisfied, no matter how many compulsions you do. Maybe you hurt your cat. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe you acted on something bad, maybe you didn’t. You aren’t going to find an answer or certainty. Acknowledge your exposure made you feel weird, and keep going with your day.

dee012

Date posted: 29w

@MichelleV That is a scary thought though😓I was trying to show myself like here you don’t have to freak out, you didn’t do anything wrong. But then I felt like I did so I did it again. I didn’t hurt my cat at all like taking the compulsion out of this and ocd it just would be normal interaction but all of this is worrying me so bad. Like feeling like I acted on an urge or something. I’m having moments of clarity like “this is stupid ocd. you felt that something completely normal was bad so you did it again and feel worse. classic ocd” but then it gets taken over by the worst imaginable thoughts and what ifs. Thank you for your comment. I will try to tell myself not to figure it out and move on.

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@dee012 I understand. Try to remember that OCD will throw false alarms at you, and try to convince you that your thoughts are serious or a threat or bad. They’re only thoughts. Try to not put importance on them. But I do sympathize because this hard work ❤️

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@dee012 - for clarification. when people say to accept the thought and say " maybe i did, maybe i didn't" its not REALLY accepting that you hurt your cat, its only accepting that the possibility exists and that even in a 1 in 1000000000 chance, its still just a possibility, doesn't mean its likely or even probably, just means you accept the thought, you accept the POSSIBILTY but you move forward with the assumption that it probably didn't and you move forward with understanding that a 1 in 1000000000 is such a LOW likelihood its laughable and not worth you time. Keep fighting, keep holding onto those moments of clarity.

dee012

Date posted: 29w

@TexasOCD41 Just saw this comment. Thank you again. My OCD is very black-and-white, all or nothing, and I need to give myself some peace and clarity. If something bad happen, then it did. If nothing bad happen, then nothing bad happen. I can’t spend my whole life worrying on what if, that is wasting my life.

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

You almost did an exposure successfully but by coming on here and asking for reassurance you are undoing the exposure. I will answer you ONE TIME- you did not violate your cat- that's all you get. NOW, you know how exposures work, they WILL create intense anxiety and fear, your job is to not respond... you getting on here was a compulsive response. Also, be careful with checking near the rear to prove it isn't doing harm, that's testing. You just need to repeat the exposure you already did, cuddle the sweet furbaby all over, pet the tail all the way to the end, pat and scratch the butt, rub its belly, and then when you get that intense anxiety, DO NOT RESPOND! agree with the thoughts even. Say " well if I'm assaulting my cat, it sure does like to be assaulted lol" Make it funny, don't fight it, don't resist it, do the exposure and ride out the anxiety. i PROMISE you, your cat is in 100% purrfectly safe hands.

dee012

Date posted: 29w

@TexasOCD41 This response made me feel so much better. Especially with the joke that you added in there, it seems insane, but it is funny and helps with the OCD. Sort of like, if I’m doing something super extremely bad then I guess I am, not gonna worry about it. I know I am compulsively testing to see if what I’m doing is bad, like I literally feel like I have to pet my cat in a ritual sort of way, near the rear end to prove to myself that, see I can do the same things I’ve always done and there’s nothing wrong or harmful about it. And then I feel weird for having to compulsively pet my cat near the rear so it starts the OCD loop. Thank you for your reassurance even though I know it is not helpful for OCD, I appreciate you saying it a lot as it did help. I know I can’t rely on reassurance and I have to do the work myself. My brain just twist all this stuff into something it’s not. And it’s crazy because it could be something that I did five minutes ago, but once my OCD questions it, and I engage for at least two seconds, it all goes downhill from there And OCD has latched onto that fully. Thank you once again for your comment. They are my fur babies, and I love them dearly. This gives me clarity knowing that I can be around them.

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 29w

@dee012 - i totally understand. iv had OCD latch on to my fur babies too, its sucks. but you sound like you are on somewhat of a decent level of understanding that its OCD, and just needing to remind yourself. that's actually really good, there are so many people who dont' even understand they are dealing with OCD and cant even begin to move forward because they cant get perspect. on a funny side not, what do you think your cat thinks about all this? hahaha, " gee mom/dad sure is petting me a lot, wonder what i did to get so much awesome attention"

dee012

Date posted: 25w

pet ocd compulsion

I need help:( my ocd targets my pets aswell. I have to compulsively pet them everywhere I can to make sure I don’t pet them anywhere inappropriate so I can feel comfortable petting them without being hyper aware. Kindve like I can let my guard down once I pet them everywhere. But it targets when I rub their belly and lower belly or when I pat or scratch their butt (end of tail rear end area). So I end up having to pet all around there and show my myself “see, even if it’s NEAR their groin or butt it’s not inappropriate “ or I have to put my hand and feet(sometimes I pet them with my feet) in certain positions to make sure anywhere I rest my arm or leg wouldn’t be touching an inappropriate area directly. This doesn’t help in the long run because afterwards I feel weird for doing the compulsion, and it makes me feel lien I violated my pet. When I only did it in the first place to make sure I didn’t. Then after the compulsion makes me feel worse, the ocd stops worrying about the old stuff and latches onto the compulsion telling me I did something wrong. So I do more compulsions. It’s a repeated cycle. I feel so sad

emma345

Date posted: 20w

Scared to interact with my cat because of zocd

NSFW 17f So basically I did something sexual to the cat when I was younger. It wasn't like full on bestiality, my privates weren't touching the cat and I wasn't touching the cats privates but it was still sexual. I didn't know what I was doing was wrong. It didn't harm the cat in any way, but of course it's still horrible. So I developed real event ocd that ruined my life complitely. Most of the time I don't think I will male it to 20. Sometimes it's a living hell. I developed it more than a year ago and I barely even remember this year cause I was so consumed with guilt it was the only thing in my head. So i also developed zoophilia ocd because of it. And I feel so bad cause I can't interact with my cat anymore. Because she wants to and I have to ignore her. Slowly I started to be scared to let her on my bed. So I stopped. Then in my room. Stopped doing that too. I still tried to give her some attention just outside of my room. Then I got scared to touch her. So I stopped doing that, but I used her brush to pet her with it and her toys to play with her so i don't physically touch her. Then my ocd went like but what if you are subconsciously using her for sexual gratification when you look at her? So now I can't even look at my cat. I look away when she is around, block my sight with a hand, close my eyes or if I can I leave. But the heartbreaking part is. Before I remembered what I did I was giving my cat a lot of attention. Like everyone says I'm her favorite and she only allows me to hold her and pet her the certain ways. So for all that time she is desperately trying to get my attention. She jumps on my rooms door, meows for a long time, tries to sneak in my room and stuff like that. And It's so sad I just have to ignore her. Especially cause she doesn't understands why. She was getting so much love and then randomly she is being ignored?? idk her real age cause we took her from the street, but she lives with us for 13 years, so she is not young. She is pretty healthy so I don't think she is going to die any soon but still. if I never get over it she will spend her last years of life ignored. and this makes me want to cry and want to throw up. but I don't know what to do. if I touch her I start freaking out and convincing myself that I used her somehow for sexual stuff even if I didn't do anything like that. I'm so scared. and also sad for her. and I miss my cat tbh. like everhtime I have to close my door when she tried to enter I feel so bad. but I'm so scared. because after what I did to her I'm already a monster. I don't want to add anything else. but I also feel bad for ignoring her.

emma345

Date posted: 16w

Please help zocd

tw: nsfw 17f I have a real even ocd from a sexual event with an animal (my cat) from where I was younger. Remembering it ruined my life and made it a living hell. It was bad. It's not one of those innocent events people always assume because I have ocd and then they get all surprised when it was actually bad and sexual. (animal wasn't harmed though) So basically I developed I fear of interacting or even looking at animals after I remembered so I was avoiding my cat like crazy, but then I realized that it's cruel to ignore an animal who wants love and attention, so I forced myself to overcome it kinda. I basically downloaded a habit tracker where I mark when I was able to pet my cat cause while it's triggering I want to give my cat love and I'm trying to pet her everyday So yesterday I was petting the cat. And she was extremely enthusiastic about it. Like she was almost throwing herself on me to get more pets like kinda agressive at this point to get pets. I started thinking how animals go in heat in spring. But she is like sterilized so I wasnt sure its possible for her. Like maybe they are just more active in spring? But what if the pets are somehow sexual for the cat? Then I thought maybe I shouldn't pet her then cause that's wrong. But then I thought like who cares and also then it will be like this the whole spring should I just not touch her the whole spring and ignore her again? I was also tired a bit so I wasn't thinking it all through that much Now I'm freaking out so bad. Like I knew there was a possibility that it was sexual for the cat and still continued petting her I didn't stop. It's so bad. Like I thought its whatever since it's not sexual for me but now I'm freaking out. Like the whole me being a better person and learning on my mistakes after that one earlier event was for nothing if I was able to do something like this I'm freaking out so bad

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urgent pls help!!

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