Does anybody feel like cancel culture is preventing them from healing ?? I feel like it’s the only thing in my way at this point. I feel like nobody allows anyone to make mistakes or heal anymore .

like the title says, i also suffer from cancel culture OCD, even more these last two months in which i have noticed that several people have been deleting me from social media, in fact two days ago i had a spiral as someone recently blocked me. i won't go into it to avoid the compulsion to confess but basically i had issues before with my ex and some of his friends that he himself ended up involving, even though we are on good terms he made sure to make me look like i was the problem and several mutual friends have been detaching themselves from me. the thing is, i see many people say that to fight their cancel culture OCD they delete their social media and then just. disappear. but i don't want to do this - i don't want to hide, i want to stay in the public eye and create things, in fact, i am an artist. but since the last year now i live in constant fear and also somewhat sensitive to what others think of me thanks to the rumors about me and i'm afraid that one day i might be "exposed" or something like that; and i also feel like i'm "pretending" to be a good person all the time. so, with what i already said, how do i deal with this without having to resort to deleting my social media? i think that exposing myself every day and continuing to post things on social medias despite the constant fear and guilt i feel would count as ERP, right? thanks.

Does anyone feel like they’re fighting a war inside of them? I’ve slowly opened up to people about my past and things that happened ( I never thought I would ) but at times, I value truth and honesty and wanting to be a good person and this is something I just want to let go of because I’ve suffered with the guilt and shame and regret but my mind keeps on dwelling on it and bringing it back. Like I’m a fraud. This implies to all my mistakes that I’ve learned from. I normally tell my mom things but I don’t want to tell her these things. I love her and don’t want to bring shame upon my family or for this to be brought up over and over again. I did stupid things without logically thinking and I have the best mom ever and she trusted me with things when I was younger. I made mistakes with that trust and it makes me upset. I now feel like I’m ideally the “ideal” kid for my family and I wish to stay like that no matter my age. I’ve been trying to mange with my childhood mistakes. The shame and guilt. I’m trying to be a bit more compassionate but there’s always the thought that scares me, what if I was really evil? I used to hate looking at pictures of myself when I was younger but now when I do, I finally realize what they meant by “you aren’t your worst mistake” because I’ve done good and I’ve also screwed up. But I feel like I’m fighting a war with myself because I value justice and truth and so but I don’t even wanna talk about this or bring it up and my mind keeps targeting it and it’s exhausting.

Due to real event ocd and past mistakes? I’ve been actively trying to work on this and try to accept and not pay too much attention to it but the confession thing has been bugging me but I’m also trying to accept that I don’t need to confess every single mistake I’ve made and we’ve all made mistakes Recently I’ve been wanting to work on myself and be more positive but because of my real events in childhood, I feel like I can’t live a normal life or deserve a normal life.