- Date posted
- 28w
Fear of taking medication
I’m stuck between wanting to try medication again for my ruminating or if I should not put anything in my body and only continue therapy. Health anxiety is completely new to me and has grown more and more severe over the span of about 5 months now, and it’s made me feel like I’m going to die at any moment and that my heart will give out on me. My mind has completely fixated on my heart and I’ve been to the cardiologist about 4 times within the 5 month period thinking that there is something wrong with me. My test results and MRI results came back fine, but I’m not completely convinced even still that it’s healthy and I second guess my cardiologists opinion and feel like there must be something else, and something was missed. It’s drastically changed my day to day life, as I feel it’ll end any day which terrifies me. I took Prozac in the past, only a few years ago, for generalized anxiety and had no reactions to it, but that was before the health anxiety started, and now I feel like I am going to be the “unlucky” one who dies from it or goes into cardiac arrest even on only 20mg. It also plays into my whole fear of having bad luck or doing something “wrong” or something I’m not supposed to (can be as small as putting the wrong socks on in the morning) which will then lead to catastrophic and fatal consequences that will be my fault. All I want is to get better mentally, but I feel almost as if my thoughts telling me to not take the Prozac and that I’m going to die from it, are actually there to protect me and that I shouldn’t ignore them. I feel so conflicted and wanted to reach out to others who have been in a similar position.