Keep going?

It's very difficult, I know. The way to move forward is to understand that the thoughts are not the problem. The issue right now is that when these thoughts pop up, you're trying to assign meaning to them, make sense of them, disprove them, or make them go away. All of those things only reinforce the belief that the thoughts are important, so the brain produces them more often. You want to get to the point where you can respond to every one of those questions with "maybe it's true, maybe it's not." Once you can do that, and allow yourself to feel the anxiety of uncertainty without pushing it away, you will be able to move forward. This is basically what ERP therapy is all about.

ROCD is so difficult. While I hate to say I “regret” anything, one thing I will say is that I wish I would have waited until I started therapy to decide weather or not to break up with my last boyfriend. I encourage you not to make a decision based on fear— if your relationship is not genuinely harmful, I encourage you to wait to make a decision until you have the help you need ❤️

There is hope for you. You can and will get better. Take things one day at a time, and as you move through your treatment plan, you’re going to start noticing positive changes. You don’t need to solve your questions, you don’t have to analyze your relationship. What kept me going is knowing I wanted to be out of my cycle of spirals and compulsions. ERP got me there, and you’ll get there too.

honestly i just filled up my time on other communities completely unrelated to my events. it’s helped me from compulsively looking to see if there’s anything, but also helping me get through seeing so much negative stuff so i think in the end it’s not helpful but is because im not subjecting myself to negativity??