Question about disorganized attachment and rocd

So unfortunately not only does NOCD not cover my insurance but in my entire state there’s only 2 therapist that accept my insurance and both of which aren’t accepting anyone atm. But currently do have a psychiatrist who has been working on helping me find someone. Anyway I show a lot of signs of disorganized attachment(had a lot of child hood abuse ) and was diagnosed with ocd years ago from prior therapy. My question is both DA and rocd overlap and have very common similarities. I was wondering if there’s any way to differentiate it if possible which will help me work on the issue. I’m not sure if “fixing it” is approached the same way or if there’s separate type of therapy for each issue. Also as far the attachment issues , no matter what I research weather Google, Reddit , and or other resources they all basically say “get a therapist “ “meditate “ and “be cognitive of ur behavior”. Neither of those actually discuss real realistic fixes. Obv I can’t get therapy, I’m super aware of my feelings if not too much aware and meditating doesn’t help at all. I currently have adhd and depression and I’m taking lexapro which doesn’t seem to be helping either. I’ve tried alot of ssris and lexapro was the only one to some what help. I’m extremely exhausted and now that I’m in the most healthiest relationship I’ve ever been I’ve literally been losing my mind. Nobody will help me because of my insurance and my job doesn’t pay enough for me to pay out of pocket.

Relationship OCD

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w

Sorry that this is so frustrating. My main piece of advice would be to look up ERP therapy specifically for the OCD side of things, and try learning about it on your own. You don't necessarily HAVE to have a therapist to do it (it's just much easier if you do). It's a matter of identifying compulsions and what triggers them, so you can come up with your own exposures to gradually get yourself more comfortable with uncertainty, and with feelings those feelings that you're so acutely aware of without getting overwhelmed. And take this for what it's worth, but there's a Buddhist teacher based where I live in NYC who is extremely well read in attachment theory, neuroscience, and psychology in general. He's mentioned before that he grew up with disorganized attachment, too. He puts all of his talks online for free, gives talks over zoom every week (which include guided meditations), where anyone can ask questions. I know you said that meditation isn't working for you, but I would personally check out his stuff if you've got no other options. Even if you aren't at all interested in the meditation or Buddhism, there's a lot of great information. I've found his talks to be extremely helpful and eye-opening. You can also join the zooms just for the talks/questions. You can find his talks on Podbean or Spotify if you search "dharmapunx NYC." Or go to dharmapunxnyc.com And if you search for attachment theory episodes there are a bunch of them.

PenguinB

Date posted: 23w

Getting through life when therapy is unaffordable

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a difficult situation and I wanted to ask for some advice. I recently finished my studies and I am living from my savings while I look for a job. However this process has turned out to be a lot more difficult and tedious than I expected. I suspect I have OCD as I relate to a lot of the experiences described here, in particular those corresponding to pure OCD. I have continuous intrusive thoughts about how what I'm currently doing is not enough, I constantly need to reassured that what I'm doing is right, with some magical thinking and concerns about my relationship sprinkled in. These intrusive thoughts have made it very difficult to make any significant progress in looking for something. Added to this I'm not even sure I have OCD as I don't have the money to afford therapy right now (my mind keeps telling me that it's silly to write this message because there's no way I have OCD). I live in Switzerland so as far as I understand my insurance won't cover sessions with NOCD. In conclusion I'm a bit stuck, therapy would help with finding a job but I need a job to get therapy. If any of you have had any similar experience and have some piece of advice it would be very welcome.

Madz!;)

Date posted: 17w

ROCD

If anyone can help.. I’m suffering from ROCD.. I love my partner I do. I cry when I talk to him about this, I cry when he compliments me now, just a constant gut feeling every time I think about him or know I’m going to see him. It’s just, I cry at everything, especially when I’m with him, like I’ll be cuddling him and then I’ll think, “do you love him?” And I panic and I cry/get teary eyed. It’s just the gut feeling won’t go away. Maybe I’m in the wrong relationship? Maybe I’m upset because I’m with the amazing guy and I don’t like him anymore. I don’t know I just got upset writing this.. he is so sweet. He is my first long-term relationship. Like 2 months ago, when this started, everything before this was fine. Like literally we were about to hit our 8 month mark and then the next day he complimented me and I thought “idk if I love you anymore..” I couldn’t eat, sleep, major gut feelings. I cried and had panic attacks. Idk I know this sound pathetic but I want to love him. I don’t know if this is me seriously falling out of love or if this is ROCD. I tried getting a therapist but I can’t afford it because they don’t take my insurance. My bf is aware of EVERYTHING, And he’s been by my side the past two months since this started, but he doesn’t have ocd and doesn’t understand, so if someone could help, I would really appreciate it!!.. I just don’t know what’s going on. I miss how things were before. Quiet and happy. And now it’s just crying, gut feelings, and mess.. hopefully I don’t sound harsh and mean, im just wanting answer in what to do..

galina

Date posted: 14w

ROCD

My ROCD comes in waves but I recently began hormonal birth control to help level out a genetic disorder I am dealing with. The harm OCD and relationship OCD has gotten so much worse the last few weeks since starting. My brain is constantly going between. Am I going to hurt someone? Am I depressed? To every other what if known to man. But the ROCD is what has been pissing me off. My relationship is a complete 180 from what I’ve ever experienced. I have only ever been with abusers. My ex husband was a narcissistic person and ruined me (likely why I have this ROCD in the first place) but anyway- my relationship is great. We’re best friends. We share the same values morals and wishes. We enjoy the same things. He can do his own thing and I can do mine. But when my ROCD hits, I disassociate and panic and go through what ifs about the relationship. We have also both been going through some stuff the past few months which has decreased the way we have sex but a ton (went from 2x a day to a couple times a week to now maybe 1x a week- and I fear it’s repeating the same pattern as with my ex…different situation- he was abusive and my current partner isn’t) but with these ROCD bouts I start wondering- is he too short? Do I find him attractive? Do I want to be with him? Should I leave? And now have convinced myself that since we’re in a normal healthy relationship (which can feel boring) that there must be something wrong and that I need to figure out what to do. I’m convinced that less sex and connection (exploring one another as we did when we started dating) means the relationship is doomed. I have never been in a healthy relationship and I know it takes work and showing up everyday. True love isn’t for the weak because it makes you have to work to keep it alive- especially when it’s “boring”. Idk what to do though. These thoughts and spirals are driving me mad. And no matter the situation, the spiral continues. I’m always anxious and thinking “what if” Any tips? I know one person in here said DO NOT leave my partner because it’ll only provide temporary relief and never solve the deeper issues I’m going through. I hate this feeling. I just want to enjoy my life.

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Question about disorganized attachment and rocd

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