Lol im spamming but im anxious and just have to say whats on my mind and like.. if u pit me on an island that looks like paradise and is the most beautiful place on earth i deadass wouldnt enjoy it. I jusr cant with hocd and cant look at anything the same way as i did before hocd. I get too much pain from living my dream but its being ruined by hocd so im not expierencing it as the true me under all they anxiety layers.

SAME OMG. I’m going back to my home city in Russia and I am going to see my whole family and all of my friends and I feel like I will NOT enjoy it whatsoever because I have tocd

Thanks everyone for the supporr! Truly helps :) @margo1 i understand completely. I always see my fsmily not so much but when i do Its just so cozy and warm and i always look forward to it. Except now with hocd. Now i lowkey dont want to go bevause i know Im going to be anxious instead of happy. Its like all these years before and i met my family have a special place in my heart they have like a certain vibe. I know this year i wont have that cozy warm vibe and thats why i dont want to go bevause i dont want it to ruin the place is has in my heart. Id rather avoid it than have pain while going. I truly hope for you you will have an amazing time and that ur Tocd wont be in the way to much!

I just have no dreams at all. Nothing i desire, nothing i live for just nothing i want to accomplish. Its so empty inside of me

You will be okay, storms come and go. OCD has its highs and lows. Don’t think so much about thinking if you are enjoying something. OCD wants you to analyze everything, think about it as if you are watching cars drive by, you are just watching them and not judging them or asking questions. OCD on the other hand will look at the cars and go “how’d this one get here” “what’s the purpose of that one” “this one looks kinda like (insert fear here)”. That’s just OCD and anxiety for ya. Don’t judge yourself for having the thoughts keep them in the background just acknowledge them but don’t take ownership of them. You will get better, I promise ??

You should watch Ali greymond hocd YouTube she really helped with my pure ocd

@margo1 ugh it sounds freaking horrible what ur going trough. Ive experienced a lil tocd befofe and its verg similar to hocd. I judt hate that it has to ruin the special family moment. It always was so genuine and so pure and now it feels like those moments are poisoned by ocd and i hate that i have to feel so unpure about jt all the time. Im alwyas here if u need soemone to talk to!

Its also so hard for me to see everyone around me still being themselves and jusr not understanding what ik going trough and i just wish they saw what i feel and than things Would make so much more sense for them. Also like do ppl unferstand how lucky they are for not going trough this, they litteraly didnt got interupted in life by this mental ilness and thats a big blessing. I wish i wouldve just grown up further being me and becoming the woman i was supposed to but ugh this thing just put a big wall Im front of it and its ruining myself and my growth. I hope better days will come