- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 32w
False Attraction to Best Friend Trigger
Hi :) it’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here, but I’m having a little bit of a rough patch and wanted to seek advice. My so-ocd has always latched onto one of my best friends. Her and I are very close, and we’ve always confided in one another about how being single sucks (we’ve both never been in relationships) and how we both hope to meet someone special one day. She recently got a boyfriend, and it’s triggered my so-ocd immensely because while I mourn the possible change in dynamic between us, I’m also incredibly envious that she gets to experience all her relationship firsts while I remain single and mentally ill LOL. Not to mention I have a fear of abandonment. My so-ocd comes into play here by making me fully believe that I feel all of these negative and sad feelings (instead of being happy for her) because deep down I want to be with her. I feel no romantic feelings for her, but my brain just tells me that I’m deep in denial and just suppressing my true feelings. It feels really awful, because I don’t want to feel this way and I want to be happy for her but my ocd is really latching onto these negative feelings and using them as proof that I’ve secretly liked her. All that is to say, I guess I’m curious if anyone has been in a similar situation and can offer any bit of advice. Thanks <3