- Date posted
- 14w ago
My daughter is spiraling
She's been dealing with this for years but I've never seen her like this. She has her first visit with a nocd therapist tomorrow. How can I help her?
She's been dealing with this for years but I've never seen her like this. She has her first visit with a nocd therapist tomorrow. How can I help her?
It’s heartwarming to see a parent care so much. I don’t have that, so it made me a little emotional. If she needs space, give it to her. Encourage her to drink something cold—it can help with panic. Applying something cold to the back of her neck and chest can also be calming. Taking deep breaths every few minutes might help too. Sometimes lying on the floor can be grounding. It sounds ironic, but physically grounding yourself can be surprisingly effective. I’ve found that letting myself cry on the floor helps; eventually, the intense feelings peak and pass. Watching a comfort show, snuggling up with a blanket, or just letting the emotions out can also be soothing. I don’t have the best suggestions, but as someone who constantly spirals and deals with intense panic attacks, these are things that have helped me, even if just a little. I hope her session tomorrow goes well!
Thank you so much!! Those are great suggestions.
It seems simple but just be present. Physically and emotionally. Let her know you are there and available if she needs you. Asking too many questions or giving advice can sometimes be more stressful in the moment, but being there when she panics or cries or wants to talk is huge! Let her know she’s not alone although it likely feels that way in her head - you are there to fight with her and for her. Growing up, my mom was the only one there for me with this and it helped tremendously. I’d get annoyed at times with too many suggestions that I couldn’t deliver on, but valued her being present and trying.
Thank you. As a mom it is difficult to remember not to try to come up with solutions.
I also want to mention that since she is an NOCD member, you can get access to a parent/loved one support group on Mondays. It’s through the apps group features
I didn't know that! Thank you. I will definitely look into that.
Welcome to NOCD! I am so glad your daughter will be getting help for this. Her therapist will support you as well. Please do check out the family support group referenced dslite. We also have resources for you on the NOCD YouTube channel, I have linked a few below for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZVIeBV9M-c&t=4s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jzHHjSI4Ek&t=4s
Hello Anonymous, Congratulations on the start of your daughter's treatment journey! I hear that you want to help her. At NOCD we offer education sessions to family members as a service. If your daughter is a minor, this will be part of the process and will be discussed with you in session. If your daughter is an adult, then you can ask her if she be willing to involve you in the process, to receive education from their therapist on how to help. Please reach out to our care team at care@nocdhelp.com to ask for an education session to facilitate this process. I hope this helps to answer your question and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help!
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I feel really scared and worried that the therapist I find on NOCD might not be effective, and instead of getting better, I might end up feeling worse. I’m afraid that if I don’t feel any progress, I’ll want to switch therapists, but my mom might get impatient with me. I worry that she’ll lose faith in therapy, stop paying for it, and think it’s a waste of time and money. I know therapy takes time and it’s not a quick fix, but I’m scared that things won’t go the way I hope. What if I don’t connect with the therapist? What if they don’t understand my OCD as well as I need them to? I’ve already been struggling so much, and the thought of going through another disappointment is exhausting. I’m only 14, and I feel stuck because I can’t manage this on my own. I need help, but I also need my mom to stay patient and supportive through this process. I’m scared that if things don’t improve fast enough, she’ll give up on paying for therapy. I don’t know what to do, and it’s making me feel really anxious. I just want to get better, but what if nothing works out?
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
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