Username: Doopydoowa

Date posted: 3d ago

Some Advice? Social media usage

Hey everyone so I am having a really terrible bout of anxiety due to an exam I have tomorrow. It has sent me spiraling. And unfortunately my ROCD/anxiety has gotten ridiculously triggered. So I had a birthday party this past weekend. I got all dressed up and put on some cute makeup. It was a lot of fun. I then posted some pics from the party, some of them included him. They were cute! I had never posted him in anything in my feed. So I was a little nervy. I was hoping he would comment something on the post or repost or something, but he just dropped a like. I feel like he usually comments on posts that he is tagged in, so for some reason this really hurt me that he didn’t comment or interact more with it. Like he doesn’t like I posted it? Or is he ashamed of me? I don’t want to be shallow, but some validation on social media would be nice? Or maybe him just posting me would feel nice. I want to talk to him about this, but I am so terrified that this will make me seem so shallow and a fein for public validation. I’m worried he thinks this of me, as I have posted on social media. I’m worried this makes him like me less. Someone please provide some expertise on how it would be best to handle these circumstances, as silly and minescule as they may seem. I’ve read a lot online (I know it’s not good) about how to handle relationships online. I know it’s more important obviously how the relationship appears offline. But I’ve been pretty obsessive about this and have a hard time letting it go. Part of me wished I never posted anything. All of this anxiety could have been avoided.

Relationship OCD

Username: OCDFamilyOCDFamily

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d ago

It is good you recognize the OCD in all this. What tools do you use when ocd gets overwhelming?

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d ago

I would respond to all of these thoughts and concerns with "maybe, maybe not." Maybe he's ashamed of you, and maybe he isn't. Maybe he's okay with you posting it, and maybe he isn't. Maybe he likes you less now, and maybe he doesn't. Etc, etc. The point is to not engage with the thoughts, which I understand is extremely difficult when they make you so anxious. That's why tools like ERP help you practice sitting with those anxious feelings in a healthy way. Once you learn that you CAN handle the anxiety, you won't be so afraid of those kinds of thoughts. When you aren't as afraid of the thoughts, they won't bother you or come up as often. The thoughts and the anxiety aren't the problem, the compulsions are. The constant rumination over these questions, checking social media, seeking reassurance; those are all the things that increase the anxiety and keep the cycle going.

Username: DoopydoowaDoopydoowa

Date posted: 3d ago

@djflorio I appreciate your input. It’s definitely hard to accept these thoughts, but it is necessary. Thank you.

Username: Andrea WellsAndrea Wells

Date posted: 3d ago

Your fears and worries caused by OCD are not silly, or miniscule. They are valid and distressing. I am sorry to hear you are wrapped up in obsessive thoughts about what your partner's response (or lack of) might mean about how how feels about it. I know it can be really hard to let go of that doubt.

Username: DoopydoowaDoopydoowa

Date posted: 3d ago

@Andrea Wells Do I ask him about it? I unfortunately have read so much online about posting so’s on social media, and so many people think it’s vain and annoying to be asked about getting posted. I’m really worried I could push him away by asking about it.

Username: Andrea WellsAndrea Wells

Date posted: 3d ago

@Doopydoowa - I honestly am not sure of the best answer to this. It might be good in some ways to open up to him about what you are struggling with and feeling, in other ways with OCD it could also be a compulsion which is unhelpful. Do you have an ERP therapist? They could be a great resource to help you figure out what is best to do, not just now but for anything that comes up in the future too!

Username: DoopydoowaDoopydoowa

Date posted: 3d ago

@Andrea Wells I unfortunately do not have an ERP therapist at the moment.

Username: Jennifer DalimonteJennifer Dal...

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

Hey there, thanks for reaching out for support. I agree with much of what has been shared already. OCD loves to take times of naturally occurring increased stress in our lives (the big test) and use it as an opportunity to gain traction for itself. I'm sorry this is happening right now, there are ways to move through it! Here are a couple of free resources for you to consider! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3PCMRsn8I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s

Username: Ian ReederIan Reeder

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello Doopydoowa, I see that the uncertainty sparked by the post and response has really triggered you. To highlight, had you avoided posting anything, ROCD would latch onto something else. Reading this, I see the post isn't really the concern you are focused on, rather it is what the response means to you about your partner 's view of your relationship. This is the crux of ROCD, to doubt things that matter to you. Sitting with the knowledge that the relationship matters to you and like any relationship, we can't predict what will happen in the end, will help build your tolerance to uncertainty that feeds the anxiety you experience. If you don't know where to start, we at NOCD are here for you. The team member and myself have developed expertise in the gold standard of care for OCD and related conditions, ERP. Reach out to our care coordination teem at care@nocdhelp.com to begin the process of reclaiming your life from the cycle of doubt and anxiety. I hope this reaches you well and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help!

Username: Donna SimonsDonna Simons

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 18h ago

Hi, I can hear how much you are struggling with this. Have ruminations ever provided you with answers past? It could be helpful to sit with the uncertainty. Try thinking something along the lines of "there are no answers in analyzing this" and allow yourself to sit with the discomfort. And go do something awesome for yourself! You deserve it!

Username: brokengirl

Date posted: 25w ago

Religion ocd question- reply if you are religious

So i am a Catholic. My brain keeps saying that if I don’t make big posts on social media it means I am embrassed or ashamed of my religion. I am not at all!!!!!!! Idk why but I don’t want to make big posts about my religion. I always post on social media but my brain guilt trips me when I dotn make some posts. It keeps accusing me. I keep having anxiety like i am doing something so bad. For instance today it said that if I don’t make this post with a paragraph about my religion it means I am embrassed or ashamed. I am not so confused bc i am not not posting it becaue i am embrasses or ashamed or shamed wheatver. It’s not becaue of anything bad if i was ashamed or embrassed i would know but i am not. I always make posts me not posting a whole paragraph dotn me being ashamed or embrassed or don’t want to be judged it i was worried i would be judged i woudl t make teh posts i just don’t want to i guess seem like I am over doing it? Not that u can ever but idk i am not ashamed or embrassed i don’t care if people judge me for my religion or my posts i just don’t want to overdo it? I guess I don’t want people to be like “she posts a lot about that” or stuff. Is that normal? It’s not becaue i am ashamed or embrassed. M’y ocd won’t leave me alone. I guess I don’t want it to be in a ocd way? Someone help- if ur not religious don’t reply to this. But me not wanting people to think taht i post too much about it isn’t me being ashamed or embrassed u know. Because I don’t care about being judged for my religion.

Username: bb.99

Date posted: 23w ago

Rocd advice needed 😫

Can anyone share advice on how you differentiate between actual relationship issues and ocd issues? And also how to stay connected with your partner during a hard time? I get really frustrated with my partner (disclaimer: he’s a great guy and his heart is in the right place) but he’s not aching the way I want him to (I recognize how that sounds haha) one of the things is that he doesn’t show much expression or excitement when talking to me so it’s really hard for me to feel loved through that. I’ve expressed that time and time again (which could be a compulsion) and when he tries to improve it just feels disingenuous, furthering my frustration. It could just be that nothing feels good enough for me, or that I’m just fed up but then idk if I should make myself hang out with him as an exposure, or just be alone. I fear that I’m not going to get my point across efficiently, or that it’s just the way he is and it’s something I’ll have to put up with. When do I decide to take action and when do I sit back and deal with it as ocd?because for me it feels like there’s no way of knowing! i don’t want to sacrifice my needs but I try to resist a lot of what I’m thinking due to the possibility of it being a compulsion. On the other hand however, I could just be silencing myself and in turn being quiet and he is ok with that but I like a lot of communication as it makes me feel connected. This could be a real issue that persists, or it could be an ocd spiral…idk and I hate that because I just don’t know how to move based off that info so Im open to any advice!

Username: George R25

Date posted: 19w ago

Dating paranoia

I've just started dating this really great girl. She doesn't know about my ocd which is fine but I've noticed that a lot of my intrusive thoughts and worries about not following routines now revolve around losing her or her believing I'm a bad person. I just don't want this relationship to make me so paranoid. I also know have this where if I see a girl on my Instagram or on the Internet, I'll feel an overwhelming urge to clean myself and the device I viewed it on. This is part of a moral reaction and I also worry I'm not being loyal. I feel I should try and not follow through with these compulsions but as they now revolve around keeping my girlfriend I'm not sure. Any advice?

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