Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

Things I did as a child that keeps triggering socd

I remember as a child playing mums and dads with my childhood friend. I remember we said we need to kiss because that’s what mums and dads do. So we used to peck eachother and I remember back then liking it and I guess feeling tingly if that’s even possible as a child??? I remember back then just thinking it was fine because we were just playing mums and dads. I didn’t have a ‘crush’ on her! She was always just my family friend ! I remember my mum coming in and seeing us and saying what are you doing blah blah and then I remember feeling guilty then! I’m just so stressed because I’ve never fancied or wanted to be with a girl romantically or physically and the only ‘proof’ is stuff I did as a child. I’m literally soo sooo anxious Everytime I think of it!!! I just want to be with my bf and be happy like I was before my so ocd relapse!? Does anyone else have childhood memories like this that just haunt you!!!.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Jennaruckk

Date posted: 25w

I have this exact problem! I keep stressing about it at the moment I never used to but all of a sudden I can’t stop stressing and overthinking!

Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

@Jennaruckk Oh really? Are you straight also? Did you do similar things like kissing your friends etc as a child? im the same! All the way through school and everything never ever thought about it but since getting soocd its ALL I think about

Jennaruckk

Date posted: 25w

@Elliesmith Yes i am 100% straight. I used to play the exact same things with my friends when I was little, Then not long ago about a year ago me and my mates used to kiss when we were drunk but as a joke and they always knew it was a joke too. But then I began to stress out like what if I was but I have never been attracted to a girl ever and I’d never want to be with one but I always feel so guilty for stressing over it

axel_.

Date posted: 25w

I can relate to this so much just know remember your values hocd makes so uncomfortable

Justmesadly

Date posted: 25w

The same situation for me. I didn’t think about it until I was 23, I all of the sudden remembered one random day and spiraled for months straight before discovering that I have ocd

Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

@Justmesadly It’s horrible isn’t it! Did you also remember liking kissing them as a child I remember actually feeling tingly etc!!! OCD is horribke

Justmesadly

Date posted: 25w

@Elliesmith I don’t remember emotional pieces , it is horrible. I’ve ruined my whole memory bc I now remember nothing of my childhood other than the single event

Eln 19

Date posted: 25w

Yes, I can totally relate.

Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

@Eln 19 Really??? have you done similar things and you’re straight too??

Eln 19

Date posted: 25w

@Elliesmith Yes. Also talked about this with my therapist when I was spiraling, stressing and overthinking about this out of nowhere, and was losing sleep, couldn’t eat, etc. She explained this is normal for kids, it’s considered child’s play, kids see the world very differently at these ages. Since then I found out about many other people who had done these things as well. You should also check Chrissie Hodges channel, she talks about all this stuff and has helped very much.

Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

@Eln 19 Thankyou so much. Something that worries me is, i remember liking kissing my friend… did you get that? I think i just liked the idea of getting married with a ‘husband’ but That’s good to know. I’ll defo check her out now.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 25w

@Eln 19 Chrissy just posted a new video about this this week actually

Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

@Justmesadly I’ve just watched her page! Oh my days she’s amazing!

Elliesmith

Date posted: 25w

Childhood memories

Things I did as a child really doesn’t help me with my socd. This is one of my main triggers because I actually did these things and I regret them to high heavens. Anyone else have this issue

anonymous2580

Date posted: 24w

Remembering things from my childhood

(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.

dee012

Date posted: 24w

false memory ocd :(

TW// MENTION OF DR8GS, SXUAL CONTENT false memory ocd is targeting my earlier teen years, around 16, I had a friend and we both did droogs (spelled it like that for a reason) one time together. I was scared to do the other stuff we had so she did it. but I remember us like touching eachothers chest as like girl stuff I guess idk it was weird lol… like about our sizes but then later on I had asked her smthng about ohh “would u ever wanna do stuff? or would u feel like that’s weird” something along those lines… and I remember her saying “ohhh I mean idk I would but I wouldn’t want it to make things weird between us”.. now here’s my thing. I remember just agreeing and accepting it and moving on, but obviously feeling weird cus that was sortve rejection. But my brain is saying what if u kept asking? Or questioned her? (We never did anything but likeee my ocd is like what if u tried to push it) and my brain is like what if u wanted to do it just bc she was under influence? I wanted us both to do it while under influence 1. Because we wouldn’t be anxious 2. I thought it would be fun at the time 3. I felt like it would be less weird if we were high. I did not PLAN for us to do these substances just for this reason but it was in my head that maybe we would do stuff if we had a sleepover or something plus I had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy and I also like girls. All im thinking is what if she said yes? MY high wore off before hers and hers was lasting longer so she would’ve been under the influence and that would’ve been super bad I would’ve felt like I 🍇 her or something… that’s why im scared right now. Idk if these what ifs are true and I literally am sick with uncertainty. If it’s true that would make me feel so terrible, like a predator (like I tried to coerce her or something) but idk what’s true and what’s not. I just remember this false memory being triggered by the fact that I asked when we were on stuff but my stuff had already wore off is what’s bothering me. (We took different things) I remember worrying about this false memory before, and was able to move on. Also me and that girl were friends for a couple years after that until we fell out over stupidity. And we also had sleepovers after that and idk if I already asked her for reassurance like ohhh are u sure I didn’t make u uncomfortable.. but idk if I did. I want to ask but I can’t because I guess she is not around right now. Like MIA.(her own personal stuff im assuming) Any advice would help :(

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Things I did as a child that keeps triggering socd

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