Religious OCD Scrupulosity

Hello everyone. I was just wanting to post on here regarding a situation that I have been dealing with for a few months now. I have been taking my walk with Christ seriously for about a year now and ever since I started I’ve noticed a bunch of intrusive thoughts and it’s caused me much distress. It all started back in June of 2024. I missed a church service because my wife and I were taking care of our daughter and I went to a Best But store and upgraded my old Apple Watch to a new one. I felt like doing so I committed idolatry because I went and bought that instead of going to church. I felt immense guilt for doing so and the next day I cancelled my order. I thought that maybe I was over thinking the entire thing so I went ahead and placed a new order and got the watch. For two weeks after getting the watch, I ruminated about whether I should keep it or not. It didn’t feel right with me and was overwhelmed with guilt for having it and it was debilitated with anxiety and stress. Eventually I decided I would just give it back so I went to go return it on the last day I could do so only to find out I could not. I thought that was a sign from God that I could keep it. I felt the most relief after that that I had experienced in quite awhile but then the next day after I started have thoughts again thinking that I didn’t try hard enough to return it and that I’m some how putting it before God. Well eventually I came to terms that there was nothing I could do about it and I was able to stop worrying about it being an idol. Well my mind jumped from that to another thing in my life and this one has been harder to get over. I have been on hair loss medication for 7 years and I had a thought one day telling me that “if I’m a true follower of Christ, then I shouldn’t take the medicine because I’m placing too much importance on my looks” I again felt immense anxiety and dread and tried fighting these thoughts away but could not help but think” what if it is and this is conviction of the Holy spirit”? I would constantly look up online any answers I could find to help relieve my anxiety but I can’t. I pray to God all the time for his will to be done in this situation and sometimes I feel better but then it all comes back. It’s hard for me to read the Bible because there’s so much about idolatry I always feel like it’s God talking to me like it’s a sign or if I’m just taking it that way? I asked God to show give me an answer about this situation and a day later a YouTuber I follow posted a video about removing idols from our lives. I felt that was God speaking to me or wasn’t sure maybe it was a coincidence? I just feel so cornered and out under so much pressure on what to do. Of course I would like to keep taking my medicine because it has helped me but then I have thoughts that tell me it is an idol because I am not able to give it up. I cut back taking the medicine a lot more often over the last months but I don’t know if this is God telling me to do so or my own mind. Like if I want to keep my hair I believe God allows healing through medication and it’s a gift. But these thoughts are telling me that I rely on taking it and it’s an idol and that unless I give it up completely I’m not following God’s will and it’s an idol. It’s caused immense doubt because then I read Romans 14 and it says anything you do with doubt is sin because it’s not of faith. I feel like I’m being attacked and cornered because I’m forced to stop taking something that has helped me. Now I have thoughts telling me to stop wearing my retainers every night because I got Invisalign a few years back to fix my teeth and that unless I stop taking my medication and wearing my retainers I’m not authentically following God. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t want to go against God and I don’t want to commit idolatry. I know God is all loving so I doubt this is all coming from him. I have to take/wear these things daily for them to work and the ocd will twist that in saying they are idols because of that and I just feel so cornered and defeated. I try to find things constantly online to see if anyone else has similar issues but I can’t. I know this is a long post but just trying to get some clarity on the matter. What should I do to help my situation?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 15d ago

Hello, What your reporting sounds like obsessions surrounding religion. An effective tool that we offer at NOCD is called Exposure and Response Prevention. The first step for this process would be scheduling to meet with an ERP therapist to be assessed for OCD and then begin practicing exposures.

shirleyCstar

Date posted: 15d ago

You aren’t crazy or alone. I went through the same thing. I had intrusive thoughts that I sold my soul to the devil, and that I’d committed the unpardonable sin. What helped me is ERP. Sitting with those feelings and thoughts and realizing they aren’t true. When I was at my worst I was freaking out a lot. I couldn’t eat, drink, speak, or sometimes even breathe because I felt like I’d go to hell. I had to be hospitalized and a couple years later it’s being managed really well thanks to medication and therapy. I KNOW, it feels like every little thing is a sin. I used to think that if I scratched an itch or didn’t pick up a hair that fell out of my head, I was sinning. It was debilitating. Some things I did that helped me feel better was repeating things like “Maybe I will go to hell.” Or “God, go away.” It’s really hard, and it gets worse before it gets better, but I promise you, God does not want you to be suffering like this. I learned that no matter how much I could tell God to go away, he’d never leave me. Some things I had to do in erp, besides the things I listed, was quit praying, I’d pray ritualistically and whatnot. No wearing Christian attire or things that’ll reassure you. Idk if this helped but please ask me if you have any question. 🤍🤍🤍

Andrea Wells

Date posted: 13d ago

Hi there. I grew up religious and going to church and my OCD latched onto it like crazy. I had so many fears and concerns about if I was being a good Christian, if I had betrayed God, if I had sinned, etc etc. I want to say that I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I know firsthand how that intense anxiety and dread feels when these fears come up. Religion should add to your life and improve it, not cause all this turmoil. I think you are right to doubt that all of this is coming from God. It definitely sounds like it is OCD. What should you do to help with your situation? ERP treatment. This is the way out and to find peace from the distress. I've gone through ERP and I'm happy to answer any questions about it, or I'm here if you just need to vent to someone who knows what it's like to feel this way.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 12d ago

Hi Hi! I agree with Tim, who posted below. This sounds like OCD for a few reasons including the presence of obsessions (upsetting thoughts,) anything you do repeatedly to alleviate those thoughts) and the repetitiveness of the obsessions to no avail. OCD often latches on to the things we value, in this case, your faith. If you would like to learn more about OCD or connect to a therapist specializing in OCD, feel free to contact us at treatmyocd.com.

Bruce M

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11d ago

If Christ is all powerful and all knowing, then He knows that you are going through something challenging. Do not worry so much about offending God. Work through the symptoms with ERP and move forward with the therapy. There are also lost of good tips on the Patrick McGrath Wednesday night webinar on the NOCD page on YouTube. Or really any NOCD webinar can be helpful. Go ahead and check out some of the videos. In addition you can contact NOCD for a free 15 minute call to discuss further. They can offer more detail than I can here. https://www.treatmyocd.com/about-us/contact-us

joyouscreature

Date posted: 24w ago

Is it even OCD anymore?

I started seeing every little thing as a sin. Or at least things that will bring bad karma. Everything, even little things like listening to music or enjoying a meal. In my eyes, everything everyone is doing is mostly sins and it terrifies me to death. It scares me to the point of paralysis and I can’t even do anything anymore because everything is a sin in my eyes. I’ll definitely spiral if I think about it more, but if I don’t, I feel like I’m lying to myself. I don’t even have confidence that this is OCD anymore. What if I’m right (I’m not necessarily wrong according to my religious doctrines, not that I’m a 100% sure) and nothings going to help me, not even therapy? And if most things humans do are sins anyway, what’s the point of anything? (See how it starts relating to an existential crisis) I’m terrified that no one’s gonna be able to help me anymore. I feel like I’m at wits ends. I don’t practice Christianity btw. Any insights or even “me too”s would help.

anonymousmm

Date posted: 24w ago

Worried

Someone had told me that my religious ocd/harm ocd intrusive thoughts, could be caused by paranoia or schizophrenia, and now I can’t stop thinking that I’m losing my mind and that I’m crazy… my religious ocd sometimes says “God wants you to harm someone.” Or “God is the almighty and can control you and make you do these terrible things” even though I know deep down that’s completely absurd.. it even says it in the 10 commandments.. I’m so lost.. I hope I’m not actually crazy.. I don’t want to hurt anyone..

anonymousmm

Date posted: 23w ago

RELIGIOUS/HARM OCD

I don’t know what to do, I feel so lost and feel like I’m losing my mind… I don’t know what to do, I am still getting the terrible thoughts of “God is telling you to kill someone” and I’m literally mid panic attack, I keep trying to reason with logic because it even says in the 10 commandments “thou shall not murder.” So I don’t even know why I’m getting these thoughts… ugh… people say that intrusive thoughts trigger things you care about the most, which mine would be Jesus & the people around me, which is why I get the harm OCD about people I care about the most.. someone recently said that I could be schizophrenic and now I’m terribly worried that I could have that.. I am so terribly afraid of becoming “crazy” and doing horrible things… can someone please give me tips to help this, and or message me?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Religious OCD Scrupulosity

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community