I saw this thing talking about watching vids of girls kissing when ur younger and I commented and said “I did that but I’m straight” and someone responded and said “no ur not” and now I’m super triggered ugh I don’t wanna be bi or lesbian. Someone pls help

So basicaly Two days ago I found a video on YouTube about astrology, and the woman speaking said smth like: you should look inside yourself because you have a tendency to ignore your own identity and your own true feelings. Instantly I thought of this endeavouring rumination about me being bisexual. Cause now I’ve kinda come to terms with the fact that in no way am I gay. So okay, the thing is, recently I’ve started to think that girls especially have an inclination towards bisexuality, mainly because they are affectionate with other girls. Bear in mind the fact that, since this hocd started, the lines between normal dating actions and behaviours between people are blurred to me. Now I realize that I am ruminating more and more this possibility of me being bisexual, but there are counter arguments like : I would never ever date a woman, I would never ever have sex with a woman and to me they are beautiful yes, they are sexy etc but I don’t want to do anything with them. Then, my consequent thought is maybe I have internalized homophobia idk. This is all soooo distressful and irritating and confusing. Deep down I know that I am a straight girl, but I feel guilty every time someone asks about my boyfriend because of these intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am lying to them, telling them that I am straight, when in fact I am not. Have you ever had such experiences?

I went from... Omg what if I’m gay To Omg what if I’m bi To omg I am gay and I should come out And it’s like I’m not triggered anymore I just feel the need to go back and fourth in my head about my sexuality. And just come out but I know it’s not true. I don’t want it I don’t need it. I literally don’t want to be gay.

I’m literally having a panic attack. I’m reading all these articles about straight women watching lesbian porn and a lot of the articles say it doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian, but that you could be heading towards a bi lifestyle and I just can’t handle that. Like I don’t want to be bi, but I’m scared I am! I feel like my life is ruined and I’ll never be the same. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. All I ever wanted was guys and now my head is messing with me and making me believe I’m now attracted to girls. It doesn’t make me happy at all! It just causes me anxiety and depression, but I feel like a lot of bi people talk about going through that. I wish I had never even watched porn. I feel like it’s caused all of this. Like that it could have made me bi. Now I hate myself for it. I can’t even hang out with any of my female friends anymore. My whole life is just ruined. Sorry to rant but it’s the only place I can.