Advice on this situation 😭

I’m at a loss about what to do. I’ve been with my partner for about a year. I’ve wanted to be with him for 3 years and now I finally have him, I got out of a really toxic 11 year relationship about 4 years ago so I’ve had plenty of time to heal, things where going so great at first in our relationship and I’m still very much happy with him, I love him more than anything, but the past 5 6 months I’ve been having a constant fear that he’s gonna cheat or watch 🌽behind my back any chance he gets , I know that’s a touchy subject for some, but me personally it just makes me feel that I’m not attractive enough,or feel like I’m not good enough, I’ve never found evidence of cheating, and I’ve found 🌽 in his history once but I told him how I felt and he told me he understood how I felt and wouldn’t do it again,and I know the constant asking everyday and needing for reassurance with it is putting a tear in our relationship, I just want to fix it. Does anyone have any advice on how to redirect my brain whenever I start overthinking about it when I’m not around him? It just puts so much stress on me when I’m not around him cause I’m just constantly in my head about it.

Relationship OCD

curefan6

Date posted: 23w

i can somewhat relate to this :( im sorry you’re going through that. my advice would be to just tell yourself that you have no control over his actions and no way of knowing for sure. try and be comfortable with not knowing. i know that’s can be reallyyy hard though. you got this

abk5

Date posted: 23w

My obsession is that I’ve made my mom mad, and I ask her every time. I know it probably bugs her, but I explained what’s happening in my head and why I need it, and she’s been really patient and fleco me about it. Sometimes I have to ask her back-to-back, and she’s always honest. “No, I’m just in pan”, “no, not at you. At my boss” etc. I wonder if you could try explaining that it’s not that he’s done anything to make you question him, but it’s a function of your OCD. Maybe he could tolerate reassuring you if he knew your asking wasn’t an accusation? If all else fails, maybe we (both—this is advice to myself, too!) should focus on not trying to banish the thought (because we never will), and not trying to indulge the compulsion (because that’s not a long-term, healthy solution), but acknowledging the thought, acknowledging it’s unhelpful and untrue, and learning to tolerate the discomfort? Idk. I’m obviously still trying to sort this out, too.

LKRoseCity

Date posted: 22w

Its nice that he even listened to you about it. Thats a tough one and its normal to feel upset about. Unfortunately its such a huge part of day to day now with people. I dont know if i will ever have a man again becuase of stuff like that. Hang in there. Its not ur fault. Its society and technology.

itgirl96

Date posted: 24w

How to stop overthinking my boyfriend is cheating?

How to stop overthinking my boyfriend is cheating? He’s cheated before yes.. only once!! (not physically cheating BUT Cheating is cheating I get it)…. I’m still trying to heal and not be so insecure and self doubting myself like I did something wrong or that I’m not enough.. he hasn’t done it again since that day but I still overthink and still feel like I need to check through his social media accounts but I still have this fear but it’s like I know he’s not?? Idk if this makes sense I just need some friendly advice!! Please be respectful!! ❤️‍🩹 I want me and partner to move forward but I constantly keep thinking about it.. that was the one bad thing he’s did in our relationship..we’ve been together for almost two years

Gmoki

Date posted: 22w

Relationship

I feel so bad I overthink abt everything my bf says and does. I think that if he doesn’t say x y z when I want reassurance then he must’ve stopped caring or is tired of me. I know it’s not the truth and he gives me NO reason to think this way. This is my first healthy relationship and I want to be in each others lives forever. I love him so much and I’m trying my hardest to manage these thoughts but I’m so anxious. It’s so draining I feel helpless and like I can’t go a day without checking his social medias. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother but idk where to start or how to manage this feeling.

punchy_blondie0

Date posted: 19w

hyper vigilance

does anyone have any tips to help with hyper vigilance in a relationship? In my past relationship I got cheated on and it hurt me mentally, and now with my current partner I always have a constant fear that something bad is going to happen even though I trust him a bunch. Like if he brings up another girl and says oh she said this. And I get so triggered by it, how do I stop. Like I trust him 100% but my mind isn’t letting me, and I feel like I always start this and do this to myself. Or if it’s a girl from his past relationship and something gets brought up about it because of me, and he’s tells me it still makes me mad.

Relationship OCD

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Advice on this situation 😭

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