Awkward interaction im scared was racist

I just left my apartment and was heading out ,when a guy who was black poked his head out of the elevator and scared me by accident. I immediately apologized bc i think i jumped or gasped a little. Then i was like 'what if he thinks I'm racist if I take the stairs like i usually do instead of the elevator ' bc i usually take the stairs since I'm on the 2nd floor. I went over and tried to go in the elevator but it was already closing. So he awkwardly held it open and I apologized again. I stood in the elevator and I think he took a step away from me. I'm scared i was racist somehow and it felt rly awkward overall.

mental Warrior

Date posted: 21w

I agree! It's amazing that you care and realise the need to unlearn things I think what would help though could be removing so much emphasis on race...it's an interaction with another person regardless of race, interactions with anyone can be misunderstood but your intention matters maybe practice casually greeting the people and really talk to them but all in all I love how you care (spoken from a black girl btw)

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

ERP will help you with racism OCD :) I’m happy you care so much about not being racist and you do your best to avoid it. That’s a sign to me that you’re an amazing person. But sadly, the rumination will make your Ocd worse so I would do my best to move on from these interactions and focus on a values-based activity instead. Don't try to figure these things out anymore because it hurts you in the end. Much love <3

🌟✨️

Date posted: 21w

I'm white and a lot of black ppl live in my building, I'm constantly scared I've done something racist or bigoted and they'll hate me . I grew up in a really white area so I know I probably have stuff to unlearn and internalized stuff. Racism ocd has constantly made me ultra paranoid of every interaction and not messing up that I'm scared it backfires into me being bigoted by trying to avoid being bigoted

🖤BrokenChaos🖤

Date posted: 21w

Was there ever a negative reaction to something not intended to be harmful, before this?

🌟✨️

Date posted: 21w

@🖤SavageGirl🖤 I don't think so but sometimes I'm like 'what if they didn't wanna call me out for doing something bad bc im a stranger or smth'

🌟✨️

Date posted: 21w

@🌟✨️ Actually there's been times I've been unsure but I can't tell if its ocd distorting small things or real

🖤BrokenChaos🖤

Date posted: 21w

@🌟✨️ - I've had this worry before because things I've said have gotten taken out of context. (My mother was a dr*ggy, so I was talking about how people take advantage of the foster care system and that ended up getting taken out of context as r*cist)

🖤BrokenChaos🖤

Date posted: 21w

@🌟✨️ - With the world we live in, anything can be taken out of context, sadly. I personally wouldn't see that interaction as r*cist.

summertime33

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive Thoughts

This is hard to admit, but I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts where the central theme is racism. I don’t use racial slurs but my brain worries that I have said something that hurts or offends someone and now I find myself analyzing every social interaction.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

It’s not OCD, I’m just a monster

I have a fear of touching people inappropriately. When I was walking by someone, I intentionally thought a sexual thought, then I started wondering if it would make me move my hips, and then they moved a tiny bit. Obviously nothing happened. But I’m convinced that was me snapping. What I don’t understand is why the fuck I made a choice to think the thought. Usually I’m terrified of walking by people and try to pass them quickly. What could make me think the thought? I don’t even think the thought was about the person. I’m confused and scared

Idontknow

Date posted: 14w

Pocd

I’m scared I might become a r*pist I’m over here thinking at a time I saw a kid and I looked down at his pants like I keep thinking about what I did and it’s like I feel attracted and to me it felt like I gave him this predator look and he probably thinks I’m a P I just wonder how is this Pocd Because it feels like I want to do stuff like I don’t know I keep thinking about that situation

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Awkward interaction im scared was racist

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