Script writing/going along with the thought

I can’t come to terms with script writing my worst fears coming true. Especially when they are in relation to harm. Those thoughts attack my son and those that I hold the closet to my heart. It honestly makes my anxiety so bad just thinking about it. Or going along with a thought like “Oh yeah I’m totally going to do that”. It just in turn makes me feel like I’m agreeing with the thought. I’m having so much conflicting feelings/thoughts in terms of ERP at this point.

Harm OCD

Hobbit

Date posted: 23w

Oof I’m so sorry. That’s rough. It might be worth chatting with the member advocates in the “messages” section of NOCD. They have been really helpful to me when I have had hesitations about my communication with my therapist. For me, it was really important to find a therapist who I trusted, who could challenge me and who listened to me and didn’t push me in directions I wasn’t ready to go. Hope that helps ❤️

storres19

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

@Hobbit That is actually a great idea. Thank you so much for that suggestion!

Hobbit

Date posted: 23w

@storres19 Yay! Glad to help 🙂

Hobbit

Date posted: 23w

I totally understand where you're coming from -- I've had some harm obsessions that have been hard to work through. Have you talked to your therapist about this? It's possible there are other ERP exercises/approaches that would be a better fit? I remember for me it was key to break my exposures into baby steps (not overwhelming big exposures, all at once). I needed to be able to face the fear and tolerate the negative feelings in one baby-step exposure before moving onto the next baby-step exposure. ❤️

storres19

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

@Hobbit I have- I’ve told her it’s very hard for me to lean into those thoughts and she says I have to be okay with the uncomfortable. She said that we will be doing script writing at one point- and I was just stopped right in my tracks because I’ve told her I’m not comfortable with it. She had me write one in our last session- told me to do it towards someone that wasn’t my son and I couldn’t get graphic. I had to be very vague and she said I needed to make it more “humorous “. But none of this is humorous to me. It’s making me all so anxious. I’m afraid that if I don’t do it, I won’t be “healed” or overcome, but on the other end of it- it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about doing those things. Thanks for letting me vent ♥️

Starlite_

Date posted: 23w

I know what you mean! I never actually had to do scripting before. I did have to write over and over and over again certain statements. That one thought stopped triggering me as much though and I'd still have the thoughts and they'd give me anxiety. Guess it didn't work for me. Harm OCD is so hard and I'm right there with you.

Squishyseasp...

Date posted: 25w

Idk if therapy can help me.

Whenever I have a non flirtatious, friendly interaction with a male my brain accuses me of cheating. I go into a full panic attack until I tell my husband then it goes away Same thing with intrusive thoughts. I'll have a random sexual thought about someone and my brain tells me that since I thought that it must be what I wanted and accuses me of cheating. Sometimes these thoughts come with actually physical feelings of what intruded. Thoughts of "what would it be like .." but I stop myself and then freak the flip out. With erp am I just supposed to let the sexual thoughts or accusations play out in my head?! It's excruciatingly painful. Also if I sit there and give into a sexual thoughts paired with the "mood" feelings how is that not mentally cheating 😵‍💫

Focd

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 24w

Doing compulsions all day long

No matter what task I’m doing. If I have an intrusive thought I have to redo the task or just just completely move on to something else. I’m Christian and I struggle with scrupulosity. I feel like I have to repeat task to keep everyone safe. I’m tired of this. I know ERP is the key and I have to stand up to the thoughts but they are just so scary. I know God is with me and I’m suppose to have faith but again I’m just so scared. I can’t even fully go into detail about my theme because I don’t want to type it out. I’m in therapy and I’m told to lean into the discomfort but it just seems like an impossible thing for me to do.

anonymousgg

Date posted: 12w

Confused about "accepting" thoughts for ERP

I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off

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Script writing/going along with the thought

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