How to start living?

it’s just a rough patch. you gotta take it one day at a time till you’re not numb again. it will come back, the ability to feel something again.

I went through this back when I was 18 as well. I felt like I needed to figure out a reason why things had meaning in order to enjoy them. Looking back it was part of my existential/philosophical OCD, and my suicidal OCD. I thought if I could find a meaning behind life, I could prevent myself from ever becoming suicidal. I think what helped me the most when these thoughts and feelings would arise is to just accept them and say, “yeah, maybe this is meaningless. I’m going to continue living my life regardless without needing to know”. Also, finding a sense of meaning I felt was acceptable for me. Mine is that the point of life is to do your best, and chase joy. I don’t allow myself to question it any further than that. I use my non-engagement responses, like “yep, this could be entirely meaningless. That makes me feel uncomfortable, but I can handle it”. OCD is tough and can make us feel down and defeated. It makes sense to start to question our meaning, but it doesn’t have to mean anything at all. Remind yourself, “I don’t need to figure this out right now. I’m going to refocus my attention elsewhere now”. Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing your best. ❤️

OCD sometimes decides to do this really fun thing *sarcasm*, where it looks at the phase of life you are in and decides, yeah lets make this a thing now. It is not uncommon for late adolescence/early adulthood to come with a new theme of existentially focused OCD. It makes sense if you think about all of the uncertainty being 18 brings. You are an adult but what does that really mean? What really changes? What will you be expected to do differently? What responsibility does it bring? Will you succeed? etc. OCD has a field day with all of that uncertainty and voila now you are feeling this need to find meaning in everything or what is the point in doing it. As alissaa pointed out, during these times encouraging yourself to embrace that uncertainty of, maybe this is meaningless, maybe not, but I don't have to solve this right now. You can do this, you have no doubt done difficult things in the past.

To start living be in the moment. You don't have to figure anything out in the moment, but just be. Don't check how you are feeling when trying to be present and focus on whatever activity or task you are doing.

hey I use to feel like this!! it ended up being depersonalisation/derealisation for me but I was like this for years, I still feel like this from time to time but not constantly like it was, getting diagnosed and making some big life changes helped me a lot, I know it’s scary but if there’s anything you’ve been really wanting to do, go do it! OCD can and WILL hold us back in everything with life, trust me I know, I read a quote/answer awhile ago and it’s helped me in those times - “how do you start doing things you’re scared of? - become more scared of doing nothing forever” and also remember you’re so young and it’s okay to feel uninterested and over it too, obviously I don’t want you to feel depressed or dissociative but be kind to yourself, a bit a self care, time and patience can help, but also don’t let OCD stop you from doing what you love!! What helped me again was just going for it, whatever that might mean for you, here if you want anymore advice or to talk, I completely understand what you’re meaning and feeling, you’re not alone.

Hi there, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing here. It is normal for everyone to go through these patches because it is unrealistic for us to be happy 24/7. However, when we are so focused on the future or dwelling on the past, that takes us out of the current moment and prevents us from enjoying it. It is easy to criticize yourself, but have you tried to challenge the negative self-talk ever to reframe those thoughts and celebrate small wins?