Tonight my ocd and depression are bothering me pretty bad. I haven’t taken my fluvox in 2 days bc I wasn’t able to get it until now and I just took it with a prn. I feel depressed and bored and I feel like a terrible person.

Every single theme you can think of u_u lately pedo and harm ocd

@Mars Aw im sorry to hear that its awful. I get the harm one sometimes. I always feel like someones gonna die and it will be my fault its horrible

@laira123 Yeah I’m scared of hurting people. My dog is old and has a bloody sore or something on his face and my dad won’t take him to the vet and stuff and I’m like freaking out about being a bad pedson bc of that bc my dad mainly takes care of him, I haven’t been able to. I can barely care for myself. I haven’t even brushed in like months. And then the pedo thing is really getting to me cause a friend used to show me drawn pron when we were teens and uh... if it’s pocd themed I am sure you can tell what it was of.

@laira123 Just sucks it’s either ocd or depression u__u

@Mars Well just because u saw that dosent make u a perve. Its ur mind telling u that. Remember ocd is an enemy it will throw the worst possible thoughts at u. So instead of being a pedo ur most likely the farthest from it.

@laira123 Yeah it’s a struggle to fight that, especially because of how internet in general is and the culture of it. It’s just frustrating and sometimes it just makes me feel sick with anxiety and it sucks. If it doesn’t bug me my ocd will find something else to try and make me believe I’m a horrible person.

@Mars Yeah im totally with u on that one. My parents are always so confused they think i want to be miserable. Almost like i enjoy torturing myself with the thoughts. They dont understand that its my mind i cant help. I can never fully relax cus theres always that lil voice in the background telling me theres something to be scared off

@laira123 Right!! I’m in a CONSTANT fight or flight response and it sucks bc life is hard and depressing I just want to relax for once.

@Mars Same here ha. Story of my life. Mine started probably around school age i was a teachers pet and wud have like extreme anxiety about being late etc. But only past say 4 years has it been debilitating. Wbu?

@laira123 I think I started showing symptoms when I was like 2nd grade maybe? My earliest memories are I would pick my lips until they bled. Also had extreme separation anxiety, and couldn’t sleep by myself because I would get intrusive thoughts about deaths and growing old. Didn’t get diagnosed though until I was 18! Was told “it’s just depression and anxiety you’re fine” but I KNEW there was more... 10 years old I would have harm ocd and couldn’t even enter my kitchen bc KNIVES... I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night and would try to make myself sick bc if I wouldn’t have to go to school the next day I’d feel like nothing bad would happen. So yeah... been p debilitating all my life and it sucks!!!

@Mars U poor thing. Thats awful. Well done for keeping going hun its not easy, remember its an illness aswell it dosent define who u are. Its a chemical imbalance. Thats what i have to tell myself i am not my thoughts

@laira123 Thank you <3 I’m sorry you’ve been dealt this hand too. OCD is like one of the most debilitating illnesses and so many people misunderstand it!

@Mars Yep because u cant see it. Thankfully i have a faith in God and i really feel that when i pray he understands me which is nice. Even some times i doubt that tho even tho i believe it with all my heart

@laira123 I’m not really a religious person so I find my support more so in places like this, but I think it’s great you have something like that to feel safety in! Hopefully one day I’ll find something to feel complete safety in as well with my illnesses.

@Mars I hope so. Even tho God dosent take away my anxiety i kno he understands that the thoughts arent real and he loves me. https://www.jw.org/en/search/?l=en&q=Anxiety&fpd%5B%5D=any&sortBy=rel Copy that link and have a look at the articles on there. They might give u some comfort xxxx

What? I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. I didn’t take it for two days because I didn’t have a chance to get it because I was at a friends house all weekend.

I dunno what will happen in the future. I may have to be meds on my life but everyone is different and it’s ok to take meds. I’ve had extreme ocd my ENTIRE life and it’s debilitating. The way I react from medicine will not be the same as how your body and brain react to it.