How to counter hocd (in my opinion)

Think logically. Literally. Take me as an example. I have hocd and my obsession is “what if I’m gay”. I’ve liked girls my whole life, I can still get aroused by them and I can’t get the same instinctive reaction from a guy. So I can’t be gay. Sometimes ocd will go to something else once you prove it wrong. Maybe like. “What if I’m bi” again I can only get aroused by girls. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about it I can even get aroused when sitting next to a girl or when I’m sitting next to one or even when I’m touching one in a non sexual way. Something that never happens or has happened with a guy in my life. Don’t start panicking. Just “realise” who you are and who you’ve been.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 4w ago

Exactly

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4w ago

Hey! Thank you for your bravery in sharing your personal experiences. I understand that taking the time to think things through may help you feel more grounded in your sexual identity, and it's completely natural to seek clarity and understanding in this way. However, it's important to recognize that the OCD brain often doesn't respond to logic in the way we might hope. While it might seem helpful to analyze and reason through your thoughts, this can sometimes lead to rumination, which is a common compulsion associated with OCD. Rumination involves going over thoughts repeatedly in an attempt to resolve them or make sense of them, but it often ends up being a trap. It can create a cycle where the more you think, the more questions arise, leading to increased anxiety and uncertainty. This is why it's crucial to approach these thoughts differently. In Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, which is a highly effective treatment for OCD, we encourage sitting with the discomfort of uncertainty rather than trying to resolve it. For example, if you're experiencing intrusive thoughts about your sexual identity, the ERP approach would be to acknowledge these thoughts and allow yourself to feel the discomfort of "maybe I am gay," without trying to immediately seek reassurance or clarity. This practice helps reduce the power these thoughts have over you and can lead to a greater sense of peace and acceptance over time. Remember, it's not about finding definitive answers, but rather about learning to live with the uncertainty in a healthy way. <3

geodrimilis

Date posted: 4w ago

@Chelsea Banks Thank you miss Banks I appreciate it

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 26d ago

Actually, reassuring yourself that you are not gay is a compulsion and will keep you in the OCD loop. Instead, try saying, "Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm not". Because a thought is just a thought, we do not need to prove it one way or the other. The way out of the OCD loop is to allow the thought to exist without arguing or responding, just Maybe it is, Maybe it isn't. Do you think you would be able to try that?

Mt2019

Date posted: 8w ago

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

Anonymous

Date posted: 8w ago

Hocd

I haven’t been diagnosed with it, but I feel like nothing else describes me better. If you do have this feeling and thoughts, what are some ways to lower your anxiety ?

Ampyyy

Date posted: 6w ago

Hocd no clue (also tw*)

I don’t want to look for reassurance but I seriously need help. I got diagnosed with OCD in January of 2024. My first theme was religious OCD. I feared that I would commit the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Maybe about five months later I walked in to my dad’s room where he was watching a movie, and two girls did some stuff if you know what I mean. Later that day I started to panic that I was that way. At the beginning of my hocd I did many compulsions and a lot of rumination. I had bad anxiety and knew that I did not want a relationship with a woman. I had always known myself to be straight. I’ve liked men since preschool. From having a crushes and celebrity crushes and only wanting and fantasizing about men. But fast forward to now with my hocd, I have no anxiety and I’m feel like I’m in denial. Which I know is common but I believe I truly want and like this. Even though before I would have had a panic attack and said ew. When I think about dating a girl I feel as though it’s normal and I have no anxiety about not having anxiety. I’m a very big Christian and I don’t really want to be this way. I mean if I am I’ll deal with it I guess but I’ve never felt this way before. I used to always watch movies and be like I hope I find a man like that but now i do that with both genders I feel like. I felt numb but now it feels normal and that I truly want and enjoy it and that I’m okay with it. Am I in denial or is it hocd still? Can anyone relate? It just feels so real like it’s not hocd anymore and I feel like I don’t care and I just want to know yk. UGH I don’t know how to explain it.

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How to counter hocd (in my opinion)

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