How to counter hocd (in my opinion)

Think logically. Literally. Take me as an example. I have hocd and my obsession is “what if I’m gay”. I’ve liked girls my whole life, I can still get aroused by them and I can’t get the same instinctive reaction from a guy. So I can’t be gay. Sometimes ocd will go to something else once you prove it wrong. Maybe like. “What if I’m bi” again I can only get aroused by girls. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about it I can even get aroused when sitting next to a girl or when I’m sitting next to one or even when I’m touching one in a non sexual way. Something that never happens or has happened with a guy in my life. Don’t start panicking. Just “realise” who you are and who you’ve been.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 12d ago

Exactly

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 12d ago

Hey! Thank you for your bravery in sharing your personal experiences. I understand that taking the time to think things through may help you feel more grounded in your sexual identity, and it's completely natural to seek clarity and understanding in this way. However, it's important to recognize that the OCD brain often doesn't respond to logic in the way we might hope. While it might seem helpful to analyze and reason through your thoughts, this can sometimes lead to rumination, which is a common compulsion associated with OCD. Rumination involves going over thoughts repeatedly in an attempt to resolve them or make sense of them, but it often ends up being a trap. It can create a cycle where the more you think, the more questions arise, leading to increased anxiety and uncertainty. This is why it's crucial to approach these thoughts differently. In Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, which is a highly effective treatment for OCD, we encourage sitting with the discomfort of uncertainty rather than trying to resolve it. For example, if you're experiencing intrusive thoughts about your sexual identity, the ERP approach would be to acknowledge these thoughts and allow yourself to feel the discomfort of "maybe I am gay," without trying to immediately seek reassurance or clarity. This practice helps reduce the power these thoughts have over you and can lead to a greater sense of peace and acceptance over time. Remember, it's not about finding definitive answers, but rather about learning to live with the uncertainty in a healthy way. <3

geodrimilis

Date posted: 12d ago

@Chelsea Banks Thank you miss Banks I appreciate it

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 6d ago

Actually, reassuring yourself that you are not gay is a compulsion and will keep you in the OCD loop. Instead, try saying, "Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm not". Because a thought is just a thought, we do not need to prove it one way or the other. The way out of the OCD loop is to allow the thought to exist without arguing or responding, just Maybe it is, Maybe it isn't. Do you think you would be able to try that?

flippy15

Date posted: 25w ago

The phrase I’m gay just keeps popping up

Anyone else will just be doing anything normal and I’m gay comes in? It’s so distressing and I try and say ok sure ocd but the anxiety over takes me and my mind won’t let me believe I’m straight when I am. I love men I’m Not attracted to women but when I ask myself the doubt is for sure there which sounds like Casebook ocd. I’m just sick of this I don’t want to have to laugh at things in my head that don’t make any sense it’s so hard and unfair

Dead girl wa...

Date posted: 24w ago

I’m confused

Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10w ago

Pls I need advice

I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now

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How to counter hocd (in my opinion)

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