help :(

I just got my midterm 2 grade back from thermodynamics I got a 12/63. The lowest grade in the class I’m trying my best to stay calm and not want to punish myself. Now I’m laying in bed and I have another midterm next week for statics where I am failing but I did well on the last 2 quizzes so I’m at a 52% also I’ve been going to office hours it’s been helping. I found out today my issue why I fail my exams and quizzes is because I have test anxiety to the point when I sit down I forget everything ( I studied 7 hours a day 5 days before the midterm). I was thinking to prepare for this next midterm to do the opposite not study more then 4 hrs a day ( I study 8 hrs plus a day including hmw) and try to time myself for each question to do the homework and lecture questions and if I don’t get it done in that time look at the answer and come back to it later on ( so I don’t memorize the answer). I have not the best memory so I won’t remember the answer after 10 minutes lol. I’m not trying to beat myself up for failing but I’m trying to find a different approach. Any advice? Also I barely studied 4 hours this morning but a part of me wants to get up and study not because I have to but to beat myself up about failing :(

Guys I need help. I feel so alone . Basically I have this compulsion where I feel the need to write everything but this stems from me being anxious about EVERYTHING. Like my mom came in my room and I was irritated and snapped, immediately regretted now I keep writing “don’t be mean to mom next time” but I keep thinking about it. Then I think about how I finally left my house today and all the surfaces I touched that could’ve been contaminated and now I’m writing “next time don’t touch this and this”. Then I think about all the things I need to be doing for this week and I’m writing “don’t forget to do this and this” even though I’ve written it 5 times already. This is what happens everyday btw. My brain always thinks about something I need to be doing and making me anxious that I’ll forget it which is why I write it down on my notes app. I’m sooo mentally exhausted I need help pls!! Anyone have any advice ? I used to think I need to stop the writing but really I need to stop the anxious thoughts coming into my head . People say I need to accept the thoughts and let it go but that’s too hard for me

I’m feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. I’m 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(we’re just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldn’t be able to return back at night, also it’s either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldn’t let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like I’m stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know it’s hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So that’s it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress she’s carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk it’s hard (also I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this cause it’s all my fault) 🫤