I’m sick and tired of this .

Intrusive sensations are one of the hardest things to cope with because it feels as though you have PROOF that the fear is real. What happens with SOOCD or even POCD is that you have become hyperaware of sensations that occur naturally throughout our day to day lives. You notice it occurring during an inopportune time like when you are around other guys, and OCD whispers "what if you are gay". After that you attach meaning to a physical sensation that previously did not have any meaning to it. Checking to see if you are attracted or if you get a response is a common compulsion when it comes to SOOCD. Engaging in it however, just confirms to your brain that there was something to be fearful of that needed intervention. This leads to then checking more often and feeling more distress if you are unable to make yourself feel better by doing so. I know it is incredibly difficult to tell your OCD no, you can do it, you have likely faced difficult things in the past and conquered them.

I would encourage you to reach out and set up a free 15 minute consultation with NOCD. Working with an ERP specialist can help you to take back control of your life by confronting your fears and learning how to stop giving OCD what it wants. This will break the OCD cycle. Here are some resources that may be helpful. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-sexual-orientation-ocd-so-ocd-your-guide-to-this-ocd-subtype https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEWzOAGaypY

And I’m also tired of feeling shit around my friends. Ive lost everything

Hi there. The thing with OCD is to resist 'figuring it out', learning to first label OCD thoughts, images, sensations, feeling or urges...as OCD. Then once we recognize OCD, we then can properly learn & practice response prevention message (This is OCD, I refuse to figure it out) and response prevention (resisting the checking, analyzing, debating, testing or proving which are all compulsions). Try out labeling OCD. This is not instant and take a couple weeks of practicing. ERP therapists can guide you on how this works so you get all the needed information.

I just want to be like the other guys and the way I’ve been my whole life. I just want to like girls without second thinking but I guess I’m asking for too much

Hey, it’s gonna be alright. I’ve been going through the same thing as you for a while now. You gotta stop looking for “reassurance”. The compulsions to keep checking are feeding the uncertainty. Your OCD is thriving off it because it makes you scared. You are you. You know who you are, OCD is just trying to trick you. It takes time. Be patient with yourself.

Been there brother its hard ik

Why does my mind keep pushing me into it I was never into guys like that😭

You’re all good. It’s not going to happen overnight. Like I said before, it’s the OCD that’s making it scary because it knows it scares you. I would suggest setting up some ERP and practice. You’re reacting to the thoughts and it’s making it worse.

I feel the exact same way today. I am utterly terrified. I try to agree with the thought and say ok I guess I am gay, then I get calm, but then I imagine sexually with another male and I get physically ill and tweaked. It’s not me. But the thought does not go away. This is so hard and so incredibly scary and confusing. It happened out of nowhere.

They’re speaking the truth. Take it slow and steady. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.

we're on the same boat, youre good