- Date posted
- 32w
Harm
Does anyone feel like when they have a baby when there older that the want to hurt them abuse them or k!ll them?
Does anyone feel like when they have a baby when there older that the want to hurt them abuse them or k!ll them?
I’m recovering from this where I had a fear of being alone with my toddler, because I thought I would snap and hurt her. This isnt all the time but in high stress moments with work especially I get those thoughts. I was so ashamed because I never heard of harm ocd but researching it, which unfortunately is a compulsion of mine as well, helped me understand that it exists. I’m in therapy now which is also helpful along with medication. I make myself be alone with them to not give in to the fear. But when it’s happening it’s so so scary. I feel deeply for anyone experiencing this.
@Bingo4231! Exactly this and still on and off two years on . It’s truly horrible or when I say night to her a horrible I wish comes In so I’m bad again at the moment after few stressful months something so silly n simple has made me relapse x
Yes, I’m 30 and I’ve always wanted to be a mother and when we considered starting a family recently I was diagnosed with OCD. So we put that on hold for now. Just because I’m really in the thick of it at the moment. I don’t want to give you reassurance, as that is a big compulsion of many, myself included, but I will say that the OCD monster attacks what you care about most. It directly goes against your values and it will make your world smaller and smaller if you let it. I let my world get smaller before I realized I had OCD and now I’m working to fight back to where I was before. You’re not alone.
Hi Emma_cool! I second UUCM - This worry can be very common in OCD. Not only is it scary to consider, it’s also impossible to answer with the level of certainty that OCD demands (100%, absolute, unquestionable certainty.) It can be pretty easy to fall into a rumination trap trying to get reassurance around a fear like this, which is why it’s important to get some guidance and support in the process. If you’re not already in ERP treatment, I would encourage you to look into it and see if it sounds like a good fit. You can reach out to the NOCD care team and schedule a call through the homepage of this app :) Here are some articles that may be helpful - https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-getting-pregnant-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-harm-ocd-guide-to-ocd-subtype
Yup! It's actually one of the main reasons I don't have kids (not the right answer because that's avoidance). I'm now at that "older" age of 38 and just genuinely don't want kids and neither does my wife. But if you want kids other than the worrying, then don't let OCD control your life and what you want.
Unfortunately yeah I have had this thought before but it’s the same as the other thoughts you have relating to harm OCD in my opinion.
I have all aspects of ocd and I won’t lie my has been horrific since my daughter for two years it’s really made it angry but please don’t put off having children if that’s what you want . It’s horrific and the guilt attached makes me suicidal but then I come out the other side it does happen lot since her tho x
Am I the P I was always scared to be? Or am I still the amazing mom I once was? I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
My brain is making me feel like I wanna do the harm to my family … and is questioning how haven’t I done it yet like wtf??? My thoughts sound crazy
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