Emma_cool
- Date posted
- 14w
Harm
Does anyone feel like when they have a baby when there older that the want to hurt them abuse them or k!ll them?
Bingo4231!Bingo4231!
- Date posted
- 14w
I’m recovering from this where I had a fear of being alone with my toddler, because I thought I would snap and hurt her. This isnt all the time but in high stress moments with work especially I get those thoughts. I was so ashamed because I never heard of harm ocd but researching it, which unfortunately is a compulsion of mine as well, helped me understand that it exists. I’m in therapy now which is also helpful along with medication. I make myself be alone with them to not give in to the fear. But when it’s happening it’s so so scary. I feel deeply for anyone experiencing this.
mellyflosergiomellyflosergio
- Date posted
- 14w
@Bingo4231! Exactly this and still on and off two years on . It’s truly horrible or when I say night to her a horrible I wish comes In so I’m bad again at the moment after few stressful months something so silly n simple has made me relapse x
UUCMUUCM
- Date posted
- 14w
Yes, I’m 30 and I’ve always wanted to be a mother and when we considered starting a family recently I was diagnosed with OCD. So we put that on hold for now. Just because I’m really in the thick of it at the moment. I don’t want to give you reassurance, as that is a big compulsion of many, myself included, but I will say that the OCD monster attacks what you care about most. It directly goes against your values and it will make your world smaller and smaller if you let it. I let my world get smaller before I realized I had OCD and now I’m working to fight back to where I was before. You’re not alone.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 14w
Hi Emma_cool! I second UUCM - This worry can be very common in OCD. Not only is it scary to consider, it’s also impossible to answer with the level of certainty that OCD demands (100%, absolute, unquestionable certainty.) It can be pretty easy to fall into a rumination trap trying to get reassurance around a fear like this, which is why it’s important to get some guidance and support in the process. If you’re not already in ERP treatment, I would encourage you to look into it and see if it sounds like a good fit. You can reach out to the NOCD care team and schedule a call through the homepage of this app :) Here are some articles that may be helpful - https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-getting-pregnant-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-harm-ocd-guide-to-ocd-subtype
Dan FrijolesDan Frijoles
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w
Yup! It's actually one of the main reasons I don't have kids (not the right answer because that's avoidance). I'm now at that "older" age of 38 and just genuinely don't want kids and neither does my wife. But if you want kids other than the worrying, then don't let OCD control your life and what you want.
GS33GS33
- Date posted
- 14w
Unfortunately yeah I have had this thought before but it’s the same as the other thoughts you have relating to harm OCD in my opinion.
mellyflosergiomellyflosergio
- Date posted
- 14w
I have all aspects of ocd and I won’t lie my has been horrific since my daughter for two years it’s really made it angry but please don’t put off having children if that’s what you want . It’s horrific and the guilt attached makes me suicidal but then I come out the other side it does happen lot since her tho x
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 19w
Questions
There are times my harm ocd has me convinced that my feelings of self harm or suicide and harm are real and that any moment I could commit the act on myself or my family. Is there anyone who can chime in on this. I feel like all the time I want to leave run away or avoid my family because of these thoughts. Like I shouldn’t be around my children and I don’t trust myself.
Anony1314
- Date posted
- 14w
A VERY distressed mom. Someone anyone help!
Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.
Anony1314
- Date posted
- 12w
VERY stressed and ruminating. Please comment POCD
Please read and comment kindly. Really looking for support. My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond