Harm ocd recovery stories

@Marcib Hi Marci - Thank you for sharing your story, I’m happy that you found relief! Was your harm ocd just strictly toward driving or was it all the time with everything/ everyone?

@Dreamydream I did experience it with other things as well. One example I worked on for a bit was unloading knifes from the dishwasher and having thoughts about losing it and killing a family member. Also things like laundry detergent and distressing thoughts about poisoning myself or my family with it. I had help from my therapist creating exposures surrounding these types of things as well. In my experience it was more than just one thing at first and then as I continued with ERP I could unload the dishes and do the laundry without engaging with a compulsion to bring my distress down but instead acclimating to the distress using response prevention messages. These were things like, “thoughts are thoughts not threats” and “ if I ruminate on this OCD gets louder.” I hope this answers your question and gives a little bit more insight.

@Marcib Do you still have intrusive thoughts 24/7 or you’re more in recovery now?

@Dreamydream I still have intrusive thoughts sometimes, but not nearly as much. I would say the real difference though is how I deal with them now. I got the tools I needed through therapy and can deal with them more effectively. I am not spending time on my compulsions and I have so much more social energy to use on interactions that are meaningful to me instead of ruminating and avoiding things all together. I just got my badge through the app this past week that says “OCD Conquer. ” I still do have hard days but my life is definitely on the up and up in terms of where I am at with managing my OCD. 😊

@Marcib See i don’t have compulsions and im able to do regular daily things but i just live in my head all day like im so in my head with my thoughts all day no matter where i am 24/7 everyday. It makes me feel not like myself or my personality like i feel like this is changing me and like a evil feeling and i hate it /: idk if you’ve experienced this

@Marcib But congratulations on your achievement and accomplishments that’s so great!

@Marcib I’m sorry to annoy you with all these questions /:

@Dreamydream I definitely felt like that for a while. Even in conversations I would be doing a lot of mental compulsions, like thinking a “good thought” to cancel out a “bad one” or trying to reassure myself that I wouldn’t do something I was thinking about. It was really exhausting and I was so tired. Im sorry you are going through this right now, it can be very frustrating when you feel like these consuming thoughts aren’t you as a person.

@Marcib How long did you feel like this for?

@Dreamydream Definitely over a year, probably two before I sought help. I just really didn’t feel like me and that the thoughts and compulsions were zapping my energy. I got to a point where I was avoiding social situations and I ended up talking to a therapist I knew and she was the one who pointed me in the direction of NOCD.

@Marcib From when u seeked help how long did it last?

@Dreamydream It was helpful for me to get a diagnosis from a therapist through NOCD because I did think it was a me problem until I got diagnosed. After getting diagnosed and going to several therapy sessions the feelings started to subside, as I was able to recognize the thoughts as being OCD baiting me in. I learned a lot of ways to disengage with OCD. I would say after the first four sessions I had I noticed the feeling started to decrease and as I got more experienced with using the tools I learned it went down even more now I am pretty good at recognizing OCD’s bait and disengaging.

@Marcib I’m glad you’re better now - i just started therapy so i hope the same for me (:

@Dreamydream Thank you! I hope your therapy experience is really positive and helpful. Keep going; you can do hard things. :)

@Marcib Thank you Marci - really appreciate u!