ROCD

@vaIentine No, I’m just trying to understand if that can be that bad.

@confused writer rocd can definitely get incredibly bad, some episodes lasting months on end even. i’m currently in one and have been since the end of last year.

@ItsMe_B! Pls pls help me pls..i need desperate advice..so i have been in my first ever relationship for now close to 6 months j have had a history with ocd and now rocd has come up strongly but recently i cant help but wonder that maybe we truly are just incompatible with the amount of fights everyday and also like these fights are based in actions and proof and not just my thoughts yes they can be exaggerated by ocd but they have a root to existence and now it feels more and more true like i think my bf doesnt prioritise me enough in the relationship and also that i saw a video the other day where a girl says her ex she dated said things like i just have 20 mins rn to give you and if not entirely sometimes i feel my bf has said that and also seems more selfish and like a husband material is caring and sensitive and excited for couple stuff my bf finds some of that cringe and hurts me and like idk if he is the level of sensitive i would like for him to be on my periods and i see other bfs just being so nice and understanding sometimes he doesnt plan stuff and or bring me stuff or even do special stuff put efforts and i have to say things for him to do otherwise he himself wont and like not be intimate as i would like sometimes and even while writing this i am not anxious and anyone reading this would think oh damn red flag true relationship issues nd should breakup and this is not ocd cause i think so too and if i know so feel so i should right? Its not ocd and only fear of being alone stops me from doing it? And also like we fight he says he will change and stuff and i give chances and again same thing if he try loved me he would and if he cant and i just keep seeing potential and hoping then i am doomed and settling and like i am saying ocd exaggerates it but it exists and if i am not convinced then better to breakup right cause if he cant change and i see and truly love is mot enough then what am i even doing? And like this is not rocd right? Pls help me what should i do? Anyone reading this would tell me its not rocd and even my therapist woukd ask me to breakup and if i know so and feel so and also gut says not it and these are not typical rocd thoughts those are more like i dont love him or what if i cheat these are based in problems so means if a man is making me anxious while already having ocd means not okay and i am not saying he doesnt do stuff but i am looking at all the above more and also i am not perfect but if they are based in reality and not ocd its true right? What should i do? Pls help

@Brave through First, I hear a lot of “what ifs” and that tells me that you may be obsessing at this point over if this is or isn’t ROCD - which is OCD in itself. Try using your coping tools to let yourself know that maybe this is ROCD, maybe it’s not, but you don’t have to figure that out right this second and take a deep breath. At the end of the day, only you can decide if a relationship is bringing you enough joy to stay in it - but obsessing over if you are making the decision from the right place is going to give you more anxiety. Try to let what is right or wrong go and remember there is no certainty. Once that pressure is off you will have a better understanding of how you really feel ❤️.

@ItsMe_B! I am so grateful for this reply.. just yesterday night we had a big fight where i was the one who was upset and he told me he would fix it the next morning but then he just ended up making the entire thing about himself today morning and spoke about how bad he felt and i was left again trying to pacify him when i was truly the one who was upset cause he got upset i said some things in anger now is this not toxic? Is this a healthy relationship and i am feeling this very intensely how everytime i am upset he will never change but if he is i have to and idk if this ocd or too much thinking or am i defending his toxic behaviour with ocd but how does everything become about what he wants and it happens all the time so he is selfish and says i am and doesnt do much for me and i am left begging and there is a sad power dynamic between us that he is using and this is not rocd right? and i am feeling lost like really lost pls help me…