confused writer
- Date posted
- 22w
ROCD
I wanna hear you most extreme feeling you had from ROCD please I feel like I’m going insane
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 22w
are you asking for reassurance purposes?
confused writerconfused writer
- Date posted
- 22w
@vaIentine No, I’m just trying to understand if that can be that bad.
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 22w
@confused writer rocd can definitely get incredibly bad, some episodes lasting months on end even. i’m currently in one and have been since the end of last year.
ItsMe_B!ItsMe_B!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
My ROCD told me that I couldn’t reliably recognize my (at the time fiancé) now husband. Literally, I’d have to look at him every few minutes to check that I recognized him and he still looked the same. Haircuts, getting rid of his beard, and alteration of his appearance would leave me in a spiral for weeks. It was absolutely awful and made zero sense. My biggest fear was that on our wedding day I’d get to the end of the aisle and he would look unfamiliar to me. Fast forward to now, two years into marriage and a year into therapy and he can do whatever he wants with his hair and face - zero reaction from me :). It can be BAD, and it CAN get better!!
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 22w
@ItsMe_B! Pls pls help me pls..i need desperate advice..so i have been in my first ever relationship for now close to 6 months j have had a history with ocd and now rocd has come up strongly but recently i cant help but wonder that maybe we truly are just incompatible with the amount of fights everyday and also like these fights are based in actions and proof and not just my thoughts yes they can be exaggerated by ocd but they have a root to existence and now it feels more and more true like i think my bf doesnt prioritise me enough in the relationship and also that i saw a video the other day where a girl says her ex she dated said things like i just have 20 mins rn to give you and if not entirely sometimes i feel my bf has said that and also seems more selfish and like a husband material is caring and sensitive and excited for couple stuff my bf finds some of that cringe and hurts me and like idk if he is the level of sensitive i would like for him to be on my periods and i see other bfs just being so nice and understanding sometimes he doesnt plan stuff and or bring me stuff or even do special stuff put efforts and i have to say things for him to do otherwise he himself wont and like not be intimate as i would like sometimes and even while writing this i am not anxious and anyone reading this would think oh damn red flag true relationship issues nd should breakup and this is not ocd cause i think so too and if i know so feel so i should right? Its not ocd and only fear of being alone stops me from doing it? And also like we fight he says he will change and stuff and i give chances and again same thing if he try loved me he would and if he cant and i just keep seeing potential and hoping then i am doomed and settling and like i am saying ocd exaggerates it but it exists and if i am not convinced then better to breakup right cause if he cant change and i see and truly love is mot enough then what am i even doing? And like this is not rocd right? Pls help me what should i do? Anyone reading this would tell me its not rocd and even my therapist woukd ask me to breakup and if i know so and feel so and also gut says not it and these are not typical rocd thoughts those are more like i dont love him or what if i cheat these are based in problems so means if a man is making me anxious while already having ocd means not okay and i am not saying he doesnt do stuff but i am looking at all the above more and also i am not perfect but if they are based in reality and not ocd its true right? What should i do? Pls help
ItsMe_B!ItsMe_B!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
@Brave through First, I hear a lot of “what ifs” and that tells me that you may be obsessing at this point over if this is or isn’t ROCD - which is OCD in itself. Try using your coping tools to let yourself know that maybe this is ROCD, maybe it’s not, but you don’t have to figure that out right this second and take a deep breath. At the end of the day, only you can decide if a relationship is bringing you enough joy to stay in it - but obsessing over if you are making the decision from the right place is going to give you more anxiety. Try to let what is right or wrong go and remember there is no certainty. Once that pressure is off you will have a better understanding of how you really feel ❤️.
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 22w
@ItsMe_B! I am so grateful for this reply.. just yesterday night we had a big fight where i was the one who was upset and he told me he would fix it the next morning but then he just ended up making the entire thing about himself today morning and spoke about how bad he felt and i was left again trying to pacify him when i was truly the one who was upset cause he got upset i said some things in anger now is this not toxic? Is this a healthy relationship and i am feeling this very intensely how everytime i am upset he will never change but if he is i have to and idk if this ocd or too much thinking or am i defending his toxic behaviour with ocd but how does everything become about what he wants and it happens all the time so he is selfish and says i am and doesnt do much for me and i am left begging and there is a sad power dynamic between us that he is using and this is not rocd right? and i am feeling lost like really lost pls help me…
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 20w
rocd
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 14w
rocd I feel so desperate and overwhelmed.
i have what i think is rocd, at least many people here told me i do. im going through the worst period ever, my thoughts feel real, i feel like i dont have any feelings for my boyfriend, that i am in denial , that i am a liar, i cant remember how it feels like to love him, my memories with him are distorted. I feel like i never loved him and i was just coping , acting like i do because i could not accept the reality. I see many people saying that once they are with their partner they feel better but it dosent help, when i am with him i still have thoughts and horible feelings. i dont know what to do anymore. I have this problem for over a year and a half, and rn it feels the worst ever. Everything feels urgent and terrifyingly real. I keep thinking that maybe when the thoughts first started, I actually realized I didn’t love him — but I kept saying “no, it can’t be, I love him,” just to deny the truth. And now I feel like I’m only holding on to a false idea I created in my head. I don’t feel love, just pressure, panic, and confusion. I told ChatGPT that I feel numb next to him, I can’t imagine a future with him, nothing feels like it used to, and I’m scared I was only ever excited about the idea of love — not him. Please, I just want this pain to stop.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 12w
ROCD, im scared
I am struggling so much with ROCD symptoms, and lately everything feels more and more real, like I am finally “realizing” that I don’t love my boyfriend anymore. When I think about him, about him speaking kindly to me, or about being with him — I feel no warmth inside me, no happiness, no calm. This makes me panic, and I start thinking that maybe this is the truth, that I don’t love him anymore or never did. It feels like my mind is connecting everything to “prove” I don’t love him — I even struggle now to remember good moments with him or any time when I felt love. When I am in his arms, instead of comfort, I feel anxious and disconnected. When he says sexual things, I feel disgust or nothing. I also had a really hard moment with my mom yesterday — I told her I don’t feel love anymore, and she told me that I am lying to myself, that I am hurting both him and myself. I keep hearing her words in my mind now. On top of this, someone on NOCD told me to focus on traits I admire about him, but when I try, nothing comes to mind and this scares me even more — like maybe I never truly loved him, I just liked the idea of having a boyfriend. I know I have read a lot about ROCD, I know about ERP, I know I should “let the feelings be there” and not fight them. But even though I know this, I feel so stuck, hopeless, and burned out. The thoughts feel so real now — like I have a gut feeling that I don’t love him anymore, that I’ve changed, and I’m just forcing myself. I am also afraid that deep down, maybe I don’t want to love him anymore, I just want to feel “normal” again — and this terrifies me. Lately I feel like everything feels more and more real — like the thoughts and this horrible feeling are the truth that I was denying all along. Now I feel almost numb, like I have accepted this horrible idea and I can’t connect to my emotions any I feel desperate. I don’t know what is real anymore. Please, if anyone can relate or give some guidance, I would be very grateful. 💔 (edited)
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond