Listening to my confessor even though I doubt

I have terrible ocd. Lots of different subtypes but the one that bothers me most is religious ocd. The advice I've been given is to go to only one priest for confession (I'm Catholic) and to listen to his advice. I've been doing that lately and I'm actually taking his advice (like, for example, that if I committed a mortal sin, I'd know for sure.. When there's doubt about whether or not I've done smth wrong, it's likely not mortal and I can recieve communion). I've read that this is good advice for scrupulous ppl. So I'm finally taking his advice but it's so scary! My biggest fear is receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin.. But I need to trust what the priest is telling me. Any other Catholics in this situation? I'm proud of myself for actually taking his advice but it's terrifying at the same time..What if I'm fooling myself and can't admit to myself that I actually did commit a mortal sin, but he sees it as doubt..like, I don't know if I'm doubting I've sinned or if I'm in denial about sinning.. If anyone knows what I mean..I also realize that full will needs to be involved in mortal sin and the presence of doubt is often a sign that even if I did sin, it wasn't fully willful so that's why it's not mortal.. But I'm still unsure and afraid. But that's probably cuz I have ocd and anxiety. Lol.. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.. And if it gets easier to listen to your confessor's advice even though it's scary and not what your OCD wants.

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w

YES! I relate to that immensly. As a fellow Catholic I absolutely experience the fear of receiving Him in the Eucharist unworthily and it's often the scariest thing. Yes, KEEP LISTENING TO YOUR CONFESSOR!! It is so important in recovery with Scrupulosity to listen to what he is telling you! Do not overthinking what he is telling you and swat any temptations or thoughts of doubt away like a fly. Jesus is so content with you receiving Him and He wants that: that is exactly what you need too in recovery from OCD. Obey your confessor as a religious superior and see him as who he is: a representative of Christ on earth! He is there to help you, and Our Lord is pleased with your obedience to Him! In my experience, you get used to listening to a confessor's advice as you go along, but it can be easy to go back on that and start doubting again. Keep moving forward and listening to him even when you don't want to! It is exaclty what OCD wants for you to worry and doubt his advice: so don't do it! Keep being faithful and striving sister! I know you can do this and more than anything that He can do this and will bring you towards greater fulfillment. I'll be praying for you!

Teresa1

Date posted: 18d

Hey, I feel the need to share.. I'm still struggling but recently when I was at mass I felt like God wanted me to know that He trusts me. Like, that He has faith in me. This deep conviction took me by surprise.. Ocd makes me doubt myself about almost everything.. It has confused me so much lately and then the Lord tells me in prayer (at least I think so) that He trusts me and has faith in me!! Isn't that great?:) I need to remember this.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18d

@Teresa1 Yesss!!! Ah I love that so much! He gives us the grace to trust him and to trust ourselves too. That’s why he gave us free will so that we can make decisions on His behalf and for His glory and that’s exactly what you need to do with OCD. It’s not prideful to think you have the answer. Ocd wants us to slip into the trap of trusting others over ourselves but that’s not how God made us. He wants us to experience the fullness of joy when we trust Him - even in trusting ourselves!! That’s a hugeee act of trust that God is very pleased with! So keep trusting yourself because OCD doesn’t want you too and we gotta rebel against the compulsions. I’m praying for you and seriously can relate 100% because that is what I struggle with too!! Also keep listening to the voice of God in prayer and trusting that he knows you and sees you and is trusting you with making decisions.

Teresa1

Date posted: 4w

Thank you so much. Your response is much needed as I plan on going to confession this week and Im starting to panic... Thank you again. God bless you.

Cantal

Date posted: 25w

Theme switch: Scrupolosity

OCD has decided to latch onto my religion (Christianity) and I find myself doubting my belief in Jesus Christ. Yet when I research, I even find myself doubting the atheistic and agnostic approach as well. I’ve been a Christian since I was 13, growing up in a non-Christian in truth but nominally Christian household. This is rough. Any advice?

chickenmomma

Date posted: 22w

I struggle with confessing

This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far

MS2003

Date posted: 12w

OCD makes it near impossible to be a good Catholic

I've been doing more research on the ins and outs of Catholicism, and man are the guidelines very strict. They're not bad in any sense, and following them makes for a good person, but with ocd these guidelines seem near impossible to properly follow. For example, it's a mortal sin to have an impure thought, and commiting a mortal sin puts you in a state of sin. This means you cannot receive the eucharist (body of Christ) at mass, which is a way to connect closer to God. You have to confess in order to be free from mortal sin. This is fine and all, but this means in my case I'd have to confess almost every week, which can be so tiring. I'm not trying to bash on my own religion, but these guidelines make it so incredibly difficult for me to feel good about myself. Knowing I'm committing one of the worst forms of sin everyday. Intrusive thoughts are a constant thing, does that make me a child of sin? I even skipped mass today because I feel guilty about being in mortal sin, but skipping mass is also a mortal sin! I feel absolutely terrible about myself right now, and feel as if my connection with God has been cut and it's entirely my fault...

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