Does my partner have undiagnosed ROCD/ocd in general? He has trichotillomania and has done for years. He’s had a history of convincing himself in the past he had rabies from an animal, nearly made himself agoraphobic for six months as a result until he “had a stern word with himself” hes also has described to me of feeling like flinging himself off a balcony and lately complains of feeling jittery. My main reason for thinking this, is that we have only been together for a year and in that time he’s fake dumped me at least five times, which in turn flares up MY rocd because I’m terrified of being abandoned and need to check he still likes me etc His narcissistic ex is still around due to work and caused issues interfering initially which was the first time he said he “should” stop seeing me. We continued to see each other. Then went on a long weekend away together Then he said it wasn’t fair again Then went on ANOTHER long weekend away together Then he said he wasn’t interested and I had to leave and cut it off immediately after I tried to broach my std paranoia making me think he would leave me etc, said I was opening a can of worms and he doesn’t want it anymore. I left for the day and he admitted he didn’t want me to go and picked me up. Then he took me abroad Then he said it again the other night. We talked about his bitch ex and then he drunkenly brought up my past. Admitted he thinks that so many bad experiences I had before him I MUST have wanted it and at times he questioned if I’m for him and still does. Said it’s complicated and he nearly once walked out of my flat and never returned, except he didn’t do that. Then he took me to the cinema after we talked. Now he’s saying he feels empty and doesn’t know how he feels in general and it must be frustrating for me He’s never once actually left me, just essentially fucking dangled it as a possibility multiple times. Now we are meant to go for a long weekend away again and I’m shitting myself to be quite frank. Can’t look forward to it and don’t trust it won’t happen again. I feel doomed.

Relationship OCD

Spiral

Date posted: 5y

Definitely anxiety then, and possibly OCD. But still talk to him about it, you can't diagnose from a distance!

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

When we first met I was very upfront about how anxious I am and that I have ocd and he made a specific point of saying “I’m not one to ever feel anxiety I’ve never been like that” so was he lying or have I made him feel like that by being so anxious myself? He seems to contradict himself! Says he’s never been the anxious type but occasionally mentions times when he convinced himself he had rabies for six months and nearly drove his family mad and for sure he’s told me it’s mild ocd just hasn’t been confirmed by a doctor

Spiral

Date posted: 5y

It doesn't necessarily sound like OCD, but you'd right that there's definitely something up with him. Possibly he's in another kind of mental crisis, could you talk to him about it and explain how you feel?

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

But he’s been saying he’s anxious more and more lately and I’ve seen other peoplenon this app saying they question if their partner is right for them/focus on flaws etc and I’ve read some people can become obsessed with a partner’s past sex life? He’s got trichotillomania which is ocd no? And the other week he had to turn around in the car to check he locked the door and occasionally asks ME for reassurance if he locked windows etc

Spiral

Date posted: 5y

Everyone has doubts and intrusive thoughts and everyone "checks" - OCD is when those things are very extreme and cause anxiety within themselves, like you with the stressful STI obsessive thoughts. So it could be that your bf has some obsessive tendencies and possibly also anxiety, but that may or may not mean OCD so don't worry too much over it

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