Anony1314
- Date posted
- 18w
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi there. I've had quite a a few subtypes of OCD over the years and pocd being one of them.
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 18w
@Garrett Maguire Could I ask you a question if this situation is the POCD I've been diagnosed with
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
Sure, am happy to answer anything I cn
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 18w
@Garrett Maguire My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 18w
@Anony1314 please try to accept the uncertainty surrounding this situation. i don’t mean to come off as rude or anything, so i apologize if i do, but think of how many times youve asked people this, and how no matter what, you never felt better. someone has already told you that it was OCD, remember? but that didn’t help, because its reassurance. reassurance is a temporary solution and is not going to help you. are you in therapy? if you are, when is your next appointment?
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 18w
@viviii Yes I am and this week. Thanks friend. You think and believe it's my POCD, just as it happened?
helpmeeee_helpmeeee_
- Date posted
- 18w
@Anony1314 i’m not going to answer that because it’s reassurance
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
This is really typical pocd. First I would say you are a really good mom, but you are just struggling with an awful illness. I would say your are taking your thoughts too seriously as we all do. We all have conflicting and. crazy thoughts. The fact that they bother you shows you are a good person. Groinals are a physical reaction that means nothing about who we truly are. This is in my view 100 percent pocd and I have had a very similar situation with my child a few years ago. ERP therapy will give you back your peace of mind and put this all in a more realistic perspective for you. Until then stop punishing yourself, remember.....a bad parent/person would not care about these thoughts/feelings
Anony1314Anony1314
- Date posted
- 18w
@Garrett Maguire Thank you!!! Even if every thing happened as I posted? Literally. I'm still a good mom. POCD?
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
@Anony1314 For sure ❤️
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w
I know some of what I say may be reassurance, but as stated, ERP therapy is the only way to deal with this.
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Anony1314
- Date posted
- 18w
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- Date posted
- 16w
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